My grandmother could not sell her house or any of Pap's belongings for many years after my grandfather died. She just wasn't ready to let go of the memories they had shared. No one in our family pushed her even when she let his 1971 Datsun pickup truck sit in the yard until it literally rusted and dry rotted. It wouldn't crank so no one could move it.
The neighborhood was going down in value and crime was increasing as renters took over the 50 year old homes. Then, one day Nanny came to my mother and said, "Doris, it's time. I'm ready to sell and get out of this neighborhood. Pap isn't coming back. He's not in that house or his truck. He lives in my memories and I can take them with me no matter where I live."
My mother lived next door. She and Dad had wanted to sell for years, but they waited for Nanny to make up her mind. Once they got the okay from Nanny, Mom and Dad put their house up for sale along with Nanny's house and the vacant lot between them that we had used as a garden plot for nearly 30 years. All three properties sold within a month at a price much higher than they expected.
Then, they found the perfect one-story house that backs up to the lake for all three of them to live together, each having their privacy in a split bedroom floor plan. It all worked out so smoothly, even the closing of the loan (HA!) we knew it was divinely guided. Mom added a glassed-in porch a few years ago with windows that open to let in the fresh air. Nanny has a place to sit outside just like she used to in the old house.
Everyone is happy with the arrangement and my grandmother doesn't have to live alone any more. She is 90 now and truly enjoying her life.
I visited my family over the Easter weekend. I know my grandmother is nearing the end of her life, but there are few lessons she has taught me.
Do what you want and don't let others influence you to change your mind.
Stand for what you believe in, even when it goes against popular opinion.
Live each day to the fullest; give it all you've got and you can rest when it is over.
Keep on going even when you feel you can't. Life is a journey and each step counts.
Love without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love is God working within us.
Let others help you. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance.
Be kind to the strangers your kids bring home. Let them eat at your table.
Let others do as they please and do not judge them for having values different than your own.
My grandmother has had more influence that I thought. She is a remarkable woman. If you've ever met her, you would agree that she is at least a saint; more likely she's an angel in human flesh!
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Very moving article. In everything I'm facing, your Nanny's advice is very timely.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.... We have a Nanny in our family too (My grandma).
A beautiful post, Yvonne.
ReplyDeleteMalcolm