More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife covers many aspects of the dying and grieving process and sheds light on euthanasia, suicide, near-death experience, and spirit visits after the passing of a loved one. ___________________________________________

Monday, December 24, 2012

Moving on after a National Tragedy

 When an event occurs—such as the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut--that gets nationwide attention, it creates a huge, negative pool of energy in the collective consciousness of humanity. People respond with all kinds of emotions, from anger at the perpetrator to sympathy for the victims. 

When the media focuses on the perpetrator of a hideous crime it activates the darkness in the minds of others who have considered doing something to gain public attention. No wonder we have similar events cropping up within weeks of such a calamity.

The day after the shooting in Connecticut, an empath friend of mine asked if I was doing okay. She hoped that I wasn’t being sucked in by the energy of grief that was engulfing the nation and being pumped by the media. I assured her that while I had compassion for the families who had lost loved ones in that shooting, I was not overcome with sorrow. It may sound callous or aloof to admit such a thing, but I know that every soul agrees to play a role at an unconscious level and brings about the circumstances it is involved in. So even if children’s bodies and earth lives were destroyed, their forever wise souls were not victims. Perhaps the lesson was part of that soul’s development plan; or the soul of a loved one affected by the tragedy may have learned something valuable from the experience. I’ve learned that it is not wise to intervene in this soul-awakening process.

If I were to add my grief to a situation like this, it would not bring back one of those dear children or adults who died that day. It would make me miserable because I’m sending my energy out where it doesn’t belong. I would be sticking my nose in someone else’s business, but it would not comfort the families. In fact, it would only intensify and prolong their grief. In my book, More Than Meets the Eye, I mentioned how our grieving affects the soul of the departed and keeps them around family members in the Earth plane. If a soul stays too long after departing the body, it can miss its opportunity to crossover. Thus, it can become Earthbound unless someone shows it the way to the light.

So what can we do when something hits the media and garners negative public attention like this? “Let the dead bury the dead,” as Jesus said.
  1. Send a beam of light and love to the grieving families and the departed souls.
  2. Send uplifting cards or letters to the families–anything that will create a lighter feeling surrounding the situation.
  3. If you know the family, reach out to them with a meal or other kind gesture.
  4. Envision a portal of light for the departed souls to enter where they can cross over into a blissful afterlife. 
  5. Refrain from watching the media coverage and rehashing of the event. 
  6. Send a beam of light and love to others who are in darkness or are considering enacting violent crimes against others. 
  7. Pray or meditate on world peace! Studies have shown repeatedly that when a large group of people pray, meditate, or direct their collective energy toward one purpose it has a huge effect. When a group of yogis gathered in Washington to meditate on a mantra the crime rate in that area went down as much as 24.6 percent.  
 It will make a difference not only in how you feel, it will help souls move on, ease the grief of the families involved, and lessen the possibility of other crimes that tend to follow.

If you tend to be so empathic that it interferes with your ability to be in public, you will appreciate the tips in  chapters 9 & 10 of my book, Whose Stuff Is This?
For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Living Will Samples

By Candis Reade

It is a wise forethought to plan for incapacitation. A legal will dictates what happens to you and your belongings after death. But, what makes medical decisions for you when you are incapacitated, but still alive? That document is called a living will (AKA: physicians directive, health care declaration, or health care directive.)

If you have ever seen living will samples, then you might know that it addresses specific medical care directives during incapacitation. Of course, it must be made with a sound mind. Every adult would be prudent to express their wishes through a living will. The unexpected is only a second away. The national coverage of vegetative patient, Terri Schiavo, is the quintessential example of why living wills are not just for the elderly. Living wills assure that your medical care demands are followed word for word. It also unburdens loved ones from making life and death decisions for you.

Living wills can be as general or detailed as you wish them to be. For example, you can make a general statement like: No measures taken to prolong life in case of irreversible or incurable diseases. On the other hand, you can make a specific statement. An example would be: I do not want to be given any antibiotics, palliative medications, analgesics, CPR, or gastrointestinal feeding tubes in case of irreversible or incurable disease. You can even go as far to say whether you wish to have hydration and food given. However, you can also make a living will state what you do specifically want.

The Uniform Rights of the Terminally Ill Act established the right for a person to have a living will. However, this law varies state by state and some states do not refer to it as a living will, but rather one of the names listed above. Some states have specific forms and validation rules to make the living will valid. You must check the particular state where you live to get exact details. You may find it helpful to hire a lawyer to show you living will samples and assist you in drafting your own. Usually, the legal fee is $200.00-$600.00, but well worth it to ensure you are in accordance with state laws. Local hospice agencies can also show you living will samples and help you find the right form for your state.

Common issues that are addressed in a living will are:

* Ventilation
* Nutrition/Hydration
* Dialysis
* Surgery
* Organ donation
* Palliative treatment and medications
* Analgesics
* Wound care
* Amputation
* Disease specific medications
* Blood transfusions
* Invasive testing

Dont just store your living will away. This may seem like a safe idea, but it is useless if not readily available. It is advised to give a copy to your physician, lawyer, and power of attorney. Consider a power of attorney too, because not every scenario can not be documented in a living will. It is wise to look over your living will every five years or with any health change and make any desired changes inside.

Candis Reade is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about Living Will Samples [], please visit My Living Wills [] for current articles and discussions.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

What Awaits You in the Caregiving Journey?

By Cindy Laverty

Caregiving shows up differently for each family. Often it appears out of nowhere. Sometimes it's temporary, but frequently it hits families hard and lasts for a very long time. It's a journey that rocks worlds; steals self-esteem; creates loneliness and frustration and is full of more surprises than Christmas morning. It takes you on a labyrinth of winding roads and emotional twists and turns. If you are a caregiver, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. If caregiving has not called upon you, no doubt one day it will. After all, there are currently 65 million family caregivers in America; the odds tell us that it's bound to show up one day.

Few people are ever prepared for this journey. Perhaps it's because we don't want to think about it; or maybe it's because we can't imagine having one more thing to do; so we wait and quietly we wonder if it's going to happen to us. I can tell you from personal experience and years of helping family caregivers manage the journey; even if you think you are prepared, you never really understand what is happening until you are in "it," until you are fully emerged in this life-changing journey. Certainly, you should have the proper legal work in place. You need to make a house safe for an elderly loved one and you need to have some idea about the financial resources available. If you have these things in place, then you are in the smallest minority of people who have actually thought about becoming a caregiver.

The caregiver's journey challenges each person's physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual constitution. It is without a doubt one of the most rewarding experiences you will ever have, but if you enter into it without your eyes wide open, it has the potential to make a mess of your world. So let's explore what this journey is like and what you can do to make some changes or what you need to do to prepare.

Physical Challenges: There is the obvious assistance that caregivers often need to perform; help with dressing, bathing, eating, moving from bed to chair, turning someone in bed and these types of activities can, in and of themselves be physically debilitating. However, the real detriment comes when caregivers forget about self care - caring for one's own physicality on a daily basis. There is never enough time to do all the things one needs to do in a day and therefore, the person who suffers is always the caregiver. When you put your personal well being on the back burner, it is a dangerous tight rope to walk. Caregivers who do this end up taking approximately ten years off their lives! And here's the interesting thing: When I ask someone why he/she would do this, the answer is always the same. "I don't have time to take care of me." You don't have time NOT to take care of you. If you don't put yourself at the top of the hierarchy of needs, you are headed for big trouble. If you don't matter enough to yourself, please stop and think about the person you are caring for. Who will care for that person if you end up in the hospital? I've said this before and I'm going to keep saying it - SELF CARE is NOT optional! Please do not sacrifice yourself for the sake of another.

Emotional: Caregiving is an emotional roller coaster ride. Chances are that you are watching physical and cognitive changes in someone who you are very close to and that wreaks havoc on your heart. Couple that with your own personal stress, worries, sadness and frustration and caregiving becomes a sea of emotions. Part of engaging in self care is learning ways to manage your emotions. There are so many ways to do this, but the truth is that you have to make a decision to actually do it. You can read books on this subject. You can seek wise counsel. You can get advice lots of different places, but if you don't actually DO IT, you are wasting your time. Your body will reflect what is happening for you emotionally and when you are out of balance, your body will scream at you. Practice emotional self care each and every day. Here's a little hint: Never, ever stuff your feelings. Our feelings are there for a reason. I teach people how to honor and embrace their emotions, because when we learn to do this, we just feel better.

Intellectual: Yes, caregiving challenges you intellectually, because you must now become wise about how to communicate with medical personnel. You have to learn new ways to communicate with your loved one, and this isn't always easy. You will undoubtedly be dealing with attorneys at one point or another and you will also need to learn the ins and outs of Medicare. These things are not easy because it's like taking a crash course in college to get a degree. The best things you can do are to ask a lot of questions and take notes. Be confident when you show up for appointments or when you are talking to someone on the phone. Even if you aren't confident, practice speaking like you are. Knowledge is power and in the beginning you might have to research and educate yourself. Ask questions and seek help from experts.

Spirituality: Caregiving challenges us to look inward. At some point in this journey you will be forced to get quiet and ask the big questions. You will be forced to question your beliefs and this is good. Each person's spirituality is different, and therefore, each individual must engage in a daily practice of some form of spirituality. It doesn't matter what it is. It could be taking a walk outside and listening. It might be a daily five-minute meditation. It could be a conversation with God. Maybe it's reading from a spiritual book every day or maybe it's a visit to your religious community. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you do it. What matters is that you continue to engage in a daily practice that brings peace to your soul.

Americans are struggling with the caregiving journey. We have never been taught what to do. Most of us never believed that caregiving might last for years. Many people are living in denial about the effects that caregiving will have on their lives and therefore do nothing. It's hard to wrap your head around this subject. I get that, but I also know for sure that we are being asked to step up and find new ways to care for our loved ones and that forces us to examine our lives differently. How will the caregiving journey affect you?

In this free report I share the top 10 Strategies I learned that saved my life. Visit to get immediate access to your FREE REPORT. Practice these tips and watch what happens.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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