Congestive Heart Failure

My mom took my grandmother, Nanny, to a pulmonary specialist today. The nurse/technician drew 900 cc of fluid from around her left lung. This is the same side in which they withdrew 1000 cc when she was in the hospital two weeks ago. The concern is not only how quickly the fluid built up again, but also that the color of the liquid was raspberry. That means there is blood mixed with the fluid--a sign that her congestive heart failure is worsening.

Mom continues to have hope that Nanny will recover. After all, no one expected her to pull through last year when she had two surgeries to repair her broken hip. She not only survived, she was almost ready to put bear weight and start trying to walk again when she started having chest pains three weeks ago. I am in limbo while waiting for my mom to call me and let me know Nanny has passed. I hope it is peaceful and in her sleep. She's had enough trauma over the past year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

State of Mind, State of Health

Mind over matter. What you think about comes about. God helps those who help themselves.

You've probably heard all those quotations, but never are those statement so relevant than when someone is trying to recover from an illness. If someone is given a diagnosis of cancer and is told he or she has six to eight months to live, it's amazing how the patient will conform to those expectations. My aunt decided to live the rest of her days to the best of her ability and she has already outlived her predicted time allotment. My grandmother (Nanny) is another case in point.

Nanny fell and broke her hip and arm last November (2008) and had two surgeries to correct the damage. Her mind was set for recovery and she worked hard every day to regain her strength. She cooperated with her physical therapist and exercised to keep her joints mobile and her muscles toned. After this last bout in the hospital, she has given up. She says she "can't"do it anymore. She refuses to eat or believe that she can get better. She constantly asks for pain medication. She's 93; I'm sure she hurts all over. But, we have this tug of war between her body and her mind to deal with.

Staying focused seems extremely difficult for her. One minute she's praying for Jesus to take her home. The next minute she's asking him to help her heal. A double-minded person is unstable in all her ways and need not expect anything to happen as a result of prayer. The universe is always willing to help us manifest our desires, but we have to be consistently clear about what we want. I'm not sure Nanny is able to do that. Her body is still too strong to succumb to death, but her mind is too weak to stay focused on recovery.

Our state of mind definitely affects our state of health. Life is all about choices. I hope we are all making choices that will help us stay as healthy as possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

The Roller Coaster of the Dying Process

The process of dying can last for days, weeks, or even years. I suppose one could say that we are born to die and everyone is in the process of dying from the cradle to the grave. However, the dying process I'm speaking of pertains to the valley of death that those who are elderly or have a terminal illness go through.

That valley has many stages: the beginning of the end, the middle vale of waiting, and latter days of suffering when death is imminent. It's difficult to determine which stage the patient is in, because the dying process is accompanied by many ups and downs within the valley. One day the patient seems to make some progress toward recovering health and the next day, she takes a plunge and causes us to think the end is near for our loved one. The emotional, mental, and physical path doesn't seem to be a straight one; it seems there are circles and loops that intersect and make us wonder, "Haven't we been here before?" It's kind of like playing the game, Candy Land. Your turn. Oh, you got Queen Frostine; you're almost home. I got a purple card. Uh, oh; you got Plumpy and you're back to the start.

Nanny has been going through this. After having a heart-to-heart talk with her early this morning in which she expressed her readiness to die, she was weak and decrepit from her three-week-long battle in which she has endured multiple medical complications including congestive heart failure. It seemed like she was giving up and didn't want to do anything to try to recover. Surely, the end of the end was approaching.

Nope, we're banking left and doing another loop de loop to revisit the valley of recovery!

The physical therapist came to work with her about two hours after our "I'm going to miss you" talk. Lo, and behold! She did her exercises with him and even stood to her feet with help from the therapist, me, and a walker. She stood twice--about five seconds each time--and was able to bear weight on both legs. This was a major feat for her because she has not stood up since she fell and broke her hip 11 months ago: the beginning of the end.

The ups and downs are like a roller coaster for the patient and the caregivers. We never know what a day (hour?) may bring, but it is sure to be an unpredictable adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Sundowners Syndrome

My maternal grandmother, Nanny, is having a bit of confusion, restlessness, and anxiety in the evenings. It usually manifests about 7 p.m. During this period, she doesn't trust that we are giving her the correct medications; she fights us when we try to feed her; and she cries and moans for hours, begging Jesus to take her home. It's heart wrenching and exhausting to be in the house with this energy.

It's like hitting a switch and Nanny changes into this insecure, forgetful, childish, and pitiful person that I've never known her to be. It's almost like she has Alzheimer's, but her mind was very clear before this last surgery, and it is still clear during the day. My daughter told me this type of mood disorder is called "sundowners syndrome." I looked it up online.

Sundowners syndrome, also known as sundowning, is a condition in which sufferers (particularly the elderly) experience periods of extreme agitation and confusion during the late afternoon or early evening hours. Some patients may be irritable toward caregivers or hospital staff. It is believed that sundowners syndrome is related to the decreased amount of light in the evening and night hours. It can be caused by drug interactions or stress associated with lower cognitive function. About 45% of elderly patients who have had anesthesia are affected by sundowners syndrome.

When sundowners syndrome hits in the evening, Nanny wants someone to stay in the room with her. If Mom or I hold her hand, she will doze off, but if she is alone, she can't sleep and she repeatedly calls us to come hither. We were up with Nanny for about four hours last night. No wonder my mom is exhausted. She's been staying up at night with Nanny for the past two weeks, and still has to handle meal preparation, keep Nanny's medicines on schedule, bathe her, change her diapers, and do all the household chores. Mom has been handling Nanny's care for almost a year since Nanny fell and broke her hip last November. Nanny was cooperating with physical therapy and eating well. Now she is so weak, she can't even roll over to help mom dress her.

My mom turns 70 this December. We are going to have to hire some help before this pace affects her health.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife may be purchased on Amazon.com

Update on My Aunt and Nanny

If you've kept up with my blog for a while, you may know that my aunt, Kat, is dealing with terminal lung cancer. She has already outlived the six to eight months the doctor expected she might last when she saw him last November. Kat refused to have any more chemo or radiation and has been in hospice at home where she lives with her sister, Dot (my mom's twin). A hospice nurse comes by once a week to check her progress. Or, should I say demise? No, for a while Kat stayed at a plateau and didn't get worse or better. I think she was on hold until my grandmother, whom we call Nanny, decided if she was going to live or die. It seems to me that Kat and Nanny may have a contract to leave this world together or at least near the same time.

Nanny fell and broke her arm and hip last November, but made miraculous recovery after two hip surgeries. She was about to start physical therapy and learn how to safely put weight on the still-healing leg, when she got a urinary tract infection. The doctor put her on an antibiotic called Macrobid. The drug nearly killed her when she had a cardiac reaction to it. She was on the verge of having a stroke when my mom (her live-in caregiver) called for an ambulance. After spending several days in the hospital, Nanny came home on Wednesday. However, she was again taken to the hospital last night. There is fluid around her heart and the spinal vertebrae that she injured in 1976 is deteriorating and causing significant pain every time she moves.

About two weeks ago, Kat's health began taking a decline. She had been having headaches all along, but they became so bad that a stronger medication was added to the menagerie of drugs she is already taking. She got an upper respiratory infection, possibly pneumonia, but since she is in hospice, she doesn't see a doctor. The hospice nurse prescribed an antibiotic that helped some. At least she is able to sit up long enough to send me a funny or sweet email.

Despite the fact that she is on a constant and high intake of oxygen, her blood saturation level stays in the upper eighties and she feels weak most of the time. So weak that hospice offered her a walker to help her get around in the house. She doesn't want a walker. Hell, that's like admitting that she is approaching another stage of the dying process. She also refused to have a hospital bed at home, but Dot vetoed that decision. Kat is now using the motorized bed and recliner that were delivered two weeks ago. I think she likes playing with buttons and making the bed go up and down. In her condition, that's about as exciting as being on a roller coaster.

Nanny and Kat live about 20 minutes from one another. Kat still tries to make the trip once per week to see Nanny and let her know that she's still alive. They talk on the phone several times daily, and never go to bed at night until they tell one another "goodnight and I love you." So sweet. I love my family.

The twin sisters have it hard right now. Both are living with and caring for a relative who is fighting to stay alive. Dot recently retired from her day job so she could tend to her younger sister while my mom tends to Nanny. I live 250 miles away and don't get to Atlanta as often as I need and want to.

I'm supposed to leave for vacation next Friday. I'll be out of the country for a week. Kat and Nanny, please don't die while I'm gone. I'm coming down for a visit when I get back from Dominica Republic. Just hold on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife available on Amazon.com.

Spirit Guides, Deceased Loved Ones, and the Afterlife

I spoke to my Aunt Kat last Sunday. She was in good spirit and has a good mind--even though she says cancer is killing her brain cells. We were able to laugh as we chatted about dying. She and I both are able comfortable talking about the afterlife. She plans to visit me once her spirit leaves her body, which will probably be soon. Her health is failing and she is entering the latter stages of her battle with lung cancer.

She says she will give me the sign of a cameo or silhouette to let me know she is contacting me from the other side. As much as I hate to lose her in physical form, I'm actually looking forward to having her near me in spirit, and hope she will visit me often. Even though Kat still clings to her Christian views, she is open to communication from the other side. I suppose she has heard her mom (Nanny) talk about her "visitors" so many times that it is a natural and acceptable to believe.

Nanny, now age 94, had a near-death experience (NDE) when she was in her thirties. In the NDE, she communicated directly with angels who told her she had to come back to earth and finish raising her children. Until recently, Nanny rarely spoke of it with anyone but my mother and me. Probably because I have had two NDEs and totally understand and believe her. And, mom? Well, she doesn't say much one way or the other about it. I'm not sure if she sees in the spirit and doesn't admit it, or if she's just humoring me and Nanny.

As Nanny's life is coming to a close, she frequently shares that she sees and talks to her husband and son, her siblings, and her own mother from the spirit realm. In the past 10 months (since she fell, broke her hip and arm, and had two surgeries to repair the damage), she's been seeing angels and spirit guides more often than before. The messages they deliver bring encouragement that her time on earth is short and that everything on the other side is set for her arrival. Seems like an entourage is waiting for her there. It will be sad to see her leave us, but it is comforting to know that she will be reunited with loved ones when she passes through the veil. I don't think Nanny has any plans to visit me from the spirit realm. She's too excited about getting to the "other" folks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife available on Amazon.com.

The Day Nanny Had Hip Surgery

Surgery went well. She'll be in recovery unit until about 9 p.m. then returned to a private room. The surgeon told us he had it fixed to heal properly. However, we were told that she will be using a wheelchair for months (possibly from now on).

I offered to stay at the hospital with Nanny so my mom could go home and rest. Mom says she's afraid I can't handle it if Nanny were to pass during my watch. I assured her that Nanny and I have both been to the Other Side and back and that we have an understanding rather than a fear of such things.

Nanny is resting in her room now, but she was freaking out when she first came back because she thought she was in a nursing home. When she heard MawMaw's (my mom) voice, she calmed down and her BP went into normal range. There was no way Mom would leave her there alone tonight so I came back to the house to rest up. That way I'll be fresh to let Mom come home and rest tomorrow when Nanny is more coherent. The nurses have been very attentive to her and I feel confident that they will make sure Mom and Nanny have all they need throughout the night. They had brought clear liquids and were helping her sip through a straw when I was leaving. So, all in all, things are going well. By the way, It's her right side that was injured.

Ready to Go?

My grandmother turned 92 last July. Two weeks ago (November 7) she fell in the kitchen in the home she shares with my parents. She broke her hip and arm, overcame surgery, and was released from the hospital in less than a week. She was doing well until her in-home nurse discovered that Nanny's oxygen level was low. Tanks could not be delivered without doctors prescription and the doctor could not prescribe it without seeing the patient, so back to the hospital (by ambulance) she went. X-ray revealed pneumonia in her left lung. She had an MRI today of her stomach and abdomen to see where the infection in her blood is coming from.

My honest opinion is that her soul is ready to depart from her body and is looking for a way out. Why? Because she wants to be on the Other Side when my aunt Kat arrives. Kat is in hospice care for terminal lung cancer.

It is only natural for the body to try to heal itself. Does the soul override the will of the body? I can't answer that question. Therefore, I remain unattached to the outcome. If Nanny or Kat is done with her Earthly mission and wish to depart, it is their choice, not mine. Of course I would miss them. I am close to both of them, but I would not blame them or be angry if they chose to leave. My choice is to be as supportive and loving as possible while attending to their needs in the interim.