Communicating With Deceased Relatives - How Can I Talk to My Family on the Other Side?

By Tina Bardo

Is communicating with the spirits of your loved ones after they have passed away unusual?
Is it unhealthy? Is it strange, weird or something to be embarrassed of, or is it a normal and perfectly healthy way of healing or helping with grief?

Is seeking out a psychic or a medium or someone who talks to the dead an odd obsession, or can it play an instrumental part of the puzzle when it comes to moving on?

The truth is, for those of us who write about the amazing healing benefits that having a credible communication with your loved ones can bring, traditional therapists and psychologists are now coming to the very same conclusions.

Why? Because the fact is, no matter WHAT you believe... it's impossible to ignore the fact that so many folks feel incredibly healed by having an experience they believe is a genuine and authentic communication with someone they've loved and lost. (most commonly a spouse, child or parent who has passed on, sometimes suddenly and without the opportunity to say a proper goodbye)
Even if you believe that spirit communication is silly, it's impossible to argue with the fact that many people who experience it, first hand report all sorts of amazing and life changing benefits that YEARS of therapy, or time... can do to lessen the feeling of loss after a loved one passes away.

Are psychic mediums the ONLY way to communicate with deceased friends and family members on the other side?

Absolutely NOT. And while mediums are often thought of as the only way to communicate with the spirits of those who have passed on, the truth is, there are many other ways as well... many of which happen completely spontaneously, and without any other input at all.

As a matter of fact, about HALF of all people will report some sort of afterlife experience with a family member or close friend, without any help from a psychic or medium or any sort of spiritual technique at all. (spontaneous, unplanned spiritual visitation experiences are very common, highly under-reported, and often life changing as well)

In addition...

There are tons of tools, and techniques that can help facilitate spirit communication, and they run the gamut from EMDR (rapid eye movement therapy) to mirror gazing, EVP, using a Ouija style tool or of course, seeking out the advice of a credible psychic or medium if the above sounds too weird for you, especially if you are curious but NOT yet convinced.

The key is - believe in SOMETHING. And be willing to explore the extraordinary.

It WILL change your life. (and what you come to KNOW happens AFTER your life, and the lives of all you love as well!)

Want PROOF?

Communicate with Your Deceased Relatives and Loved Ones From the Comfort of Your Own Home. Get Personal PROOF The Afterlife is Real (100% Guaranteed)

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Death of a Child - Does Loss of a Child Really Destroy Marriages?

By Kimberly Pryor

You've probably heard people quote statistics that parents who suffer the death of a child are more likely to divorce. In fact, the often-quoted statistic is that 75 percent of parents eventually divorce within months of the loss of a child. However, that number was the guesswork of a book author who wrote about this subject in 1977. Studies conducted since then paint a different picture.

The Compassionate Friends, the nation's largest self-help bereavement organization for families who have experienced the death of a child, conducted a survey in 2006 that showed a divorce rate of 16 percent among bereaved parents.

In another study, researchers at Montana State University-Billings administered a survey to parents who had suffered the loss of a child. The results? Nine percent of the respondents divorced following their child's death. And 24 percent of the remaining respondents had considered divorce--but had not actually done so. So in 33 percent of the couples taking the survey, the death of a child had stressed the marriage, but the divorce rate was nowhere near 75 percent.

A third study, published in 2010 in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, investigated whether there was a higher divorce rate in spouses whose child developed cancer. Cancer in a child was NOT associated with an increased risk of parental divorce overall. However, increased divorce rates were observed for couples where the mothers had an education greater than high school level. The risk was particularly high shortly after diagnosis, for couples with children 9 years of age and younger at diagnosis, and after a child's death.

If you have experienced the heartbreak of the death of a child, know your union with your spouse has a very strong chance of becoming even stronger. Still, in some cases, this tragedy can stress a relationship. To keep your marriage as healthy as possible, grieving parents should keep the following in mind.

Avoid Blame

Blame is highly toxic to any marriage because it involves accusing your partner of wrongdoing. For example, a husband holds his wife responsible for their teenage son's death because she gave their son permission to stay out late and drive to the movies with friends. On the way back from the movies, their son died in a car crash. In this scenario, the blame may erode the marriage's foundation.
Sometimes, grieving parents direct their blame at an outside entity. Compare Meryl and George vs. Patricia and Joe. Meryl and George's 11-year-old son Danny died of heart problems. Neither one blamed the other for the death. However, Meryl, who is Jewish, and George, who is Lutheran, were both angry with God. Prior to Danny's death, Meryl agreed to raise Danny as a Lutheran, and their little boy attended church activities and often arrived before the services so he could talk to the pastor. When Danny died, Meryl and George felt as if God had punished them unjustly for raising their son right. However, the couple was able to let go of their anger at God. Three years after Danny's death, George stepped inside a church for the first time since the funeral. More than a decade later, George and Meryl's marriage is still strong.

For Patricia and Joe, who lost their son Jimmy in a car accident, it was a different story. At first, the accident drew them closer together--until Joe blamed God for the accident, and his days were consumed with overwhelming anger that never subsided. Patricia, on the other hand, turned to God after Jimmy's death. They tried counseling, but Joe's bitterness at God and nearly everyone around him damaged their marriage, and the couple divorced.

Resolve Your Guilt

The study by the Montana State University researchers mentioned above found that

parents who have considered divorce after the death of a child are far more likely to express guilty feelings and frequently or sometimes perceive that their spouses expressed guilt. Those who hadn't considered divorcing were more likely to rarely or never feel guilt and were much less likely to perceive that their spouse expressed guilt. If you feel guilty in some way about your child's death, counseling may serve as an effective way to help resolve your feelings.

Realize You Both Grieve Differently

Our spouses often have similar interests and belief systems to our own. Grieving may be the first time in our relationships when we notice a significant difference between the two of us. Women, for example, are often more open and talkative about their grief while men tend to bundle their emotions inside or try to hide their vulnerability by grieving when alone. Men also can express their grief as anger. For example, when George discovered Danny had died, he punched the bedroom door, smashing a hole in the wood.

Allow Each Other to Grieve at Your Own Pace

Many of you reading this have heard these words before: "Why don't you move on? It's been a year now (or two years, or three, etc.)." When family says this it can be frustrating enough. But when a spouse feels as if it's time for you to move on it can feel devastating. Everyone grieves at his or her own pace, and we have to accept our partner's timeline. George and Meryl learned this firsthand.
About a year after Danny's death, Meryl wanted to visit his grave every week. George wanted to visit less often. At first, this hurt Meryl's feelings. But George convinced her going every other week was part of letting go. "I get a little crazy if it gets longer," Meryl admits.

Kimberly Pryor is the author of the bestselling ebook The Indestructible Relationship: A Couples' Guide to Coping with Bankruptcy, Natural Disasters, Infidelity, Illness, Death of a Child and Other Crises-Both Big and Small. The book tells the touching story of ten couples who have overcome adversity, including Meryl and George Muller, who lost their 11-year-old son Danny to heart disease. For more information on how The Indestructible Relationship can serve as a written support group for couples who have experienced the death of a child or other adversities, visit http://www.indestructiblerelationship.com or purchase The Kindle ebook here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004HIM3GU.
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Caregiving Tips for Boomers: 5 Tips for Decreasing the Cost of Caring for Elderly Parents

By Dr. Vicki Rackner

Over 30 million Baby Boomers provide countless hours of assistance to elderly parents at no charge. It is estimated that, using average hourly wages, the total amount of this uncompensated care is comparable to the entire Medicare budget. For the estimated 7 million Boomers who provide long distance care, actual out of pocket expenses amount to almost $5,000 per month. For caregivers who have, or are considering leaving the workforce to care for an ailing parent, the costs are even greater - over $650,000 in forfeited salaries, benefits and pensions.

This stark economic reality shows only one dimension of the price caregivers pay for this act of love.

Caregivers pay with losses that extend well beyond their bank accounts. They often forego the activities that bring joy and richness to their lives, like meeting friends for dinner, or going out to the movies or taking family vacations. They pay with their time, the loss of professional opportunities and the erosion of personal relationships that result in isolation.

Sometimes, otherwise healthy loved ones need a short dose of care as they recover from an acute medical episode like a broken leg. Usually loved ones are on a path of steady decline with cascading assistance needs. Some caregivers sacrifice large chunks of their own lives as they help their parents and other family members and friends peacefully make their transitions. Caregivers can pay with their own health and well-being. In fact, we have evidence that some caregivers pay for their acts of care with their very lives.

You can decrease the personal and economic costs of caregiving. This means proactive planning rather than reactive responding. Planning saves money. You know this as you reflect upon your experiences of going to the grocery store with and without a shopping list. Planning also minimizes personal wear and tear and decreases stress. You will feel much better when you know your options and develop back-up plans before you jump into a challenging project.

5 Tips to Decrease the Cost of Caregiving:

1. Begin the conversation today. We have tremendous cultural resistance to the recognition of aging, disability and death. Just as the first few steps uphill are the hardest, so, too, you may meet the greatest resistance simply starting the conversation about their possible need for care. Say today, "Mom and Dad, it would be great if you lived forever, but the discovery for the fountain of youth is nowhere on the horizon. What thoughts and plans do you have about enjoying your golden years?"

2. Create a plan. Talk with your parents about their ideal plan if they are no longer able to care for themselves. Then, start to work toward that proactively. Investigate long-term care insurance. Draw up the appropriate legal documents. Find out who would make medical choices if they were not able to make them on their own, along with some guiding principles for the choices. You can anticipate and limit parental resistance by saying, "Mom and Dad, I just got back from the lawyer's office signing my will and durable medical power of attorney. I've asked Mitch to make my medical choices if I cannot make them myself. Just so you know, if I were in vegetative state, I wouldn't want to be maintained on a machine. You probably already planned ahead too, right?"

3. Use personal and community resources. Make caregiving a family job to which each member contributes. Even children can make grandma's life special with drawings and phone calls. Identify services that make your job as a caregiver easier. If you and your parents live in the same community, check with friends and neighbors and local organizations to learn about services and resources that will make your job easier. You say, "Mom has just moved in with us, and she wants to 'find a card game with the girls.' Do you know of any senior centers that have social events? How about transportation?"

We're a mobile society and millions of caregivers live more than an hour away from their parents. Executive William Gillis learned from his own personal experience how challenging it is to identify community resources from afar. As he was carving the path that ultimately led his on-line portfolio management service, he became the caregiver for his father. Talk about mixed emotions!  Professionally, he was introducing a service that let millions manage their investments with one click of a computer mouse. Personally, he was investing untold hours just to find one bit of information to help his dad."

As with so many innovators, he used his personal and professional experience to launch Parent Care (www.parents-care.com), a service that he wished would have made his life as

a caregiver-at-a-distance easier.

4. Gather cost-savings tips. This might mean something as simple as ordering generic medication or regularly inquiring about senior discounts. But, most cost savings opportunities aren't as obvious. Mr. Gillis found, for example, that some states will pay for phones for hearing, visually or mobility limited seniors or fund home safety improvements. He said, "We've invested heavily to locate time and money saving resources that most would have difficulty finding. I made it a personal mission to help other caregivers avoid some of the costs and frustration I encountered." You don't have to re-invent the wheel. Tap into the resources others have collected.

5. Take care of yourself. You will be able to provide the best care as a caregiver when you're at your best. Get good nutrition, enough sleep and regular exercise. Manage your stress and do a little something every day to nurture your soul. Understand that you are at increased risk for anxiety, depression, and weakening your immune system. Talk to your doctor if you see worrisome signs such as problems sleeping, changes in appetite or loss of interest in activities you enjoy.

Despite the costs, most caregivers say that they received much more than they gave. Most say they would do it again, and many do.

Sometimes the question is not the personal cost of caregiving; it's the value that you bring to the lives of others that matter at the end. What personal cost are you willing to pay for the privilege of helping those who welcomed you into the world to enjoy their golden years and travel the road of illness with love and dignity?

Dr. Vicki is a board-certified surgeon and Clinical Instructor at the University of Washington School of Medicine who left the operating room to help caregivers and patients take the most direct path from illness to optimal health. Want more tips about caregiving? Get your free report "Caring for the Caregiver" by emailing Dr. Vicki Rackner today at DrVicki@DrVicki.org and be sure to check out her regular column with the Johnson & Johnson Consumer Products Group’s new caregiver web site http://www.strengthforcaring.com
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Souls in the Afterlife

Souls are typically only able to manifest in one place at a time while wearing a physical body. Without the body, a soul can travel anywhere and experience unlimited ability to move about and manifest in any dimension. From what I’ve learned, a soul can move from one place to another with nothing more than a conscious thought. Thus, one who was a mother to you in a recent life is able to be around you one minute and be about her business in other dimensions the next (or even simultaneously).

So, when you think of your loved one, he or she likely senses that vibrational signal and is able to respond by projecting their presence even if you don’t see, hear, or sense them. Many times, our loved ones on the other side give us signs that they are visiting us. Be aware of things crossing your path that are signs of visitation. These include but are definitely not limited to hearing songs she loved, smells that were common to him, objects that she would have liked, etc. For example, when my aunt is visiting me, I smell cigarette smoke and see cameos—a sign that we agreed upon would be an indication that she was contacting me.   

Paths Toward Peace Of Mind As We Mourn

By Lou LaGrand

The pain, frustration, and suffering we go through after the death of a loved one is extremely difficult to cope with and grow through. However, great losses, particularly the changes that go with them, are constant and have to be addressed. Grief by nature is a transformational process: we learn new ways to adapt to a different life or continue to resist the inevitable changes that have to be made. Since there are numerous healing paths to follow, perhaps you will find one or more of the paths below to be one of your choices and provide achievable inner peace in the process.

1. Find your purpose/mission in life. Think long and hard on why you are here. Do you have a personal goal? Purpose gives us meaning and a boost in self-esteem. Examine your skills, abilities, and interests, very closely. Carefully ask yourself what moves you deep within. Then decide on a plan to follow in creating a purpose to lead you to a higher level of consciousness. The sense of accomplishment will transform your life and in the process pull you out of the shadows. The cost of not seeking your niche, your contribution, is overwhelming.

2. Focus more on what you can give and less on what you can receive. We all certainly need support in dealing with our losses. However, it is equally true, that at some point in our grieving seeking to help others even though we are hurting is a historically proven way to cope well. Start by paying the kindness you receive forward. Decide what has helped you up to this point in you grief; analyze it for the needs that it met, and try to meet similar needs in others. Think of these four basic needs we all hope to be fulfilled in our interpersonal relationships: attention, acceptance, affection, and appreciation. Decide on the many behaviors you can generate to meet these needs in others. You can build more peace within as you bring peace to them.

3. Choose to develop your ability to become more loving. Love is a great unused power in dealing with all sorts of difficult situations. Grieving and adapting to great losses are situations in which working to love deeper and more completely brings new perceptions in seeing the world and our places in it. Great love strengthens the quality of our inner lives.

Look for uplifting and inspiring readings or poetry which suggests loving kindness as the motivating force behind it; read a short paragraph daily and then commit to those loving actions as you go through your day. Ask yourself. "What actions can I take to give unconditional positive regard to someone today?" Developing this daily routine will add structure to your life and help stabilize the sense of disorganization that accompanies grief work.

4. Develop and nurture a belief in something greater than the self. For most, grief is a heart-filled spiritual journey which fills mourners with a different perception of life and death. It may be appropriate to join a spiritual community to be with others who share similar values. Just being in their company to listen can be a soothing experience and you may find spiritual exercises that bring great insight and peace.

The awareness of spiritual knowledge and the impact it can have on every facet of life is a resource of inestimable value in coping with the death of a loved one. If you don't have one, find a spiritual path. Don't allow the culture we live in to deemphasize the importance of faith and spirituality in living a full life and coping with the massive changes we all eventually face.

5. Be open to new ideas and ways to adapt to change. There are so many ways to cope with great losses, many we never think about. So read all you can about how others cope with their losses. Ask others how they were able to adapt to their great loss and find peace. For example, consider deciding to search for ways to deal with your pain and not run from it. Uncover new responses that help ease pain. There are some that will fit your belief system and you can implement them to your own individual situation.

Be sure to include ways to deal with stress which commonly builds as we think too much

about what we do not have. Daily stress management will not only help your mind, it will be a great gift to your body as well. Start by learning about mindfulness techniques and belly breathing.

6. Learn what you can and cannot control. One goal that all of the various grief theories agree on is that the ultimate goal of grieving is acceptance of what has occurred. Of course, not easy to do. This acceptance translates into coming to grips with what you can control, like in the present moment, and what you cannot change or affect from the past. No one can reverse what has occurred. Knowing the difference is a choice requiring wisdom and sometimes guidance from others. It can also require prayer and/or deep meditation. Making the choice of acceptance, which means to live with the fact, not necessarily like it, would be a great start to inner peace.

7. Set a goal to reach in honor of your loved one. Peace comes through doing as well as thinking. Allow yourself to be touched and motivated by the invisible presence of the beloved. Unwavering determination is of essential importance in completing your mission. So once you have chosen how you will pay tribute, create a schedule of when and how you will work on it. Develop the habit of eliminating self-sabotaging thoughts of what you don't have by switching to a focus on your progress of paying tribute to your loved one.

Continually work to create a conscious lifestyle that has peace of mind as a top priority. Make this is a daily duty.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Heather Von St James | A Mesothelioma Cancer Survivor Story

Cancer is not the focus of this blog, but a positive, uplifting story about overcoming an illness can be a huge help to any sort of caregiver when they're feeling down.

Cameron Von St. James was thrown into the role of caregiver when his wife, Heather, was diagnosed with a very rare and deadly cancer called mesothelioma, just three months after the birth of their only child. They were initially told that she could have less than 15 months to live, but she was able to defy the odds and eventually beat the cancer. During her treatment, Cameron had to learn quickly to be an effective caregiver, and there were many times when he became overwhelmed and beaten down by the role, but he and his wife managed to fight through it together. They recently participated in a short video about his wife's cancer experience, which they hope to use to raise awareness and support for people fighting illness, and the caregivers who fight alongside them. Here is the link to the video: http://can.cr/heather
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Virgil Anderson is a lung cancer survivor through the care of the medical professionals at mesothelioma.net, one of the most comprehensive online resources for mesothelioma asbestos health and safety information. "Heather's story is a testament to the strength and courage of women everywhere, and a beacon of light to the asbestos cancer community," says Virgil.

We send continued well wishes to Virgil and all those who are fighting or have overcome this disease.



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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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How to Communicate With the Dead

By Tina Bardo

Believe it or not, there are many ways to communicate with spirit, over and above the ones that everyone already is familiar with.

For example...

Did you know that "mirror gazing" or using what is called a psychomanateum, can lead to profound experiences with spiritual visitation? (and experiences that well over 90% of those who try it report felt as "real" as if they were visiting their loved ones while alive)

As a matter of fact... the famous author, Dr. Raymond Moody (well known for coining the phrase "Near Death Experience" in his seminar book, "Life after Life") spent a few years researching using mirror gazing to facilitate personal experiences with the deceased... and the published results were remarkable. (and documented in his book entitled, "ReUnions")

How about EMDR? Familiar with it? It's a form of therapeutic rapid eye movement that is well known to help all sorts symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, and as an unexpected side effect, many patients reported having incredible visitations with their deceased loved ones while having the experiences. Dr Alan Boyntin, the pioneer of this particular healing modality also has written extensively about these "after-worldly" encounters as a result of having this exotic treatment... and while he's not sure what they represent, they clearly are being reported as 100% real by his patients.
Other easy ways to get personal proof that the afterlife is AVAILABLE to you?

I've had amazing experiences with a Ouija board that were so incredible...most of the people I tell about them DON'T think they're true. (and they are, as those of us who were there can attest!)

Meditation is a great way to develop mediumistic abilities, as it seems to reduce the mental filter that separates our biology (our brains) from being able to access the otherworldly and afterlife realms (which I believe are pure energy... and meditation helps us to open up channels within our minds to access this energy that is always around us).

Lastly, speaking to a psychic medium who has the ability to communicate with spiritual or ethereal dimensions is a GREAT way to put all of this to the test in your own life. I was a die hard skeptic many years ago... and it wasn't until I had a first hand experience with a genuine medium by phone who told me things that were impossible for her to have known, did my mind start opening to the notion that death is NOT the end. And since then... the journey I've taken looking for evidence has changed my life in so many exciting ways, they'd be impossible to count.

Most importantly? That death is NOT the end. And that the "dead" do want to hear from us. And that when we're ready... and committed to making contact, they WILL be there to respond!

Want PROOF? Click Here ==> to Join Our FREE Psychic Community and discover the TRUTH about psychics, spirits and the shocking afterlife evidence that will convince YOU, Too!
Or - Talk to a LIVE Psychic Today and Get PROOF That Your Life Has REAL Purpose. (AND Find out What it is TODAY!)

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Loving Parents Who Are Fading

By Marcia McGuire

If you have someone in your family who is fading with Alzheimer, you will relate to this article about my Dad. He has dementia. Some days he'll play the piano and sing, others he can't even find his bedroom. He repeats so much, your head is reduced to just nodding a smile because you've heard the same words over a hundred times. I can't count all the times I've heard how some men came over to hang his elk heads on the wall. (Actually, it was my sister and her son, but telling him otherwise, as you know, won't be a part of the next conversation.)

But this article isn't about my visits to see daddy. It's about his caregiver, my faithful mom. She has her own health problems and yet, she's the sole person to love and take care of her aging husband while at the same time, struggles to keep a hold of her own health.

How many couples are in that same situation, one taxing the other, both spiraling down? Our weekly visits and prayers that the next time we come, that they'll be doing just as good, aren't all that they need. What is to be done?

Here's some ideas:

1. If at all possible, have them live near one of the children, not necessarily in their home, but around the corner or in a small apartment on the property. This way they'll have someone there every day to check and give rides for groceries or to see grandchildren. It isn't the same when they live across town. If anything, it's important just so they know someone is nearby to give them security.

2. Have a church body or circle of friends help. We want to serve one another and what better way than to reach out to our elderly. It's amazing how having another person there can make both brighten up.

3. Make arrangements for the caregiver (mom in our case) to have time away from the Alzheimer one which gives them a fresh look and a breather. Arrange for a senior citizen bus to pick them up for a day out with others their age. There's caring folks working in these services that are great asset.

4. Cook meals ahead so you know they are going to eat right. Package and freeze in their meal proportions.

5. If they don't know computers, introduce the caregiver parent a simple way to get online. Show them how easy it is to shop online and have it sent right to their front door. Use as few of click as possible to enjoy Facebook, where they can meet friends. Set the screen saver to show pictures of family. We make CDs and installed them into mom's My Pictures in her computer. This way they can sit and see familiar faces. Dad especially recognizes his mom and for the time being, his children although that part is fading too, so keeping faces familiar is important.

6. Be careful how you tell either of them what they need to do. They've made decisions all their lives and taking away that thought process is detrimental to both. It's especially vital to have the caregiver spouse have space and an opinion. Suggestions, yes, but not "You need to...." Encourage both of them gently, never boss which quite often makes them balk and not cooperate. They both need dignity and lots of "yeses" especially the Alzheimer parent. I remember one incident where dad wouldn't get in the shower because he was told he had to. My sister came in and just said, "Dad, the showers on. Your turn," and he forgot he was arguing about getting in.

7. Call them often. My sisters have daily rituals to call mom on their way to work, and she watches like clockwork for their calls. I'm not a phone talker, so I send love letters in the mail. Mailboxes get way too many ads and bills, so I love picturing dad peering inside their box by the front door and carrying his treasure to mom to read. (You should see some of the silly treasures they get inside that box.)

8. Most important, remember, they've taken care and loved each other all these years and know they're married for better or worse. The worse is happening, and they're dealing with it. We need to be a safety net for them.

9. And when, and if, the day arrives they have to place their dementia companion in a care center, be even more keen for the one left at home. It will be empty and, after nurturing their "child" sweetheart for so long, they'll wonder what's next and how to fill their time. Add to this, all the memories that will fill their minds, acting like little ghost everywhere. Be acutely aware how they're coping with all the changes.

10. Talk with your siblings and other family members of ways you can help them. Hopefully they will realize their responsibility is to be there for them.

Think of this story that pretty much explains what is going on.

"It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

"On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

"I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

"I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

"I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be."

And that's life for our family. Daddy has dementia. We deal with it because we love him. Many families have a parent that is fading and needs assistance, for us to be involved and loving them all that we can. They were there for us. We're returning. And the circle of life goes around until we may find we are fading and need our children to love us.

Marcia is married to Dennis and has seven children, is grandma to sixteen, a school teacher and has an online shopping mall with name brand stores. [http://www.grenfo.com/newsletter.html]

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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The Benefits of Creating Good Memories

By Dora Carpenter

I spent time recently with my two beautiful children doing nothing. Oh, how precious. What is doing nothing? Nothing for us meant spending time together with no distractions. No distractions of driving, restaurants, amusement parks, crowds of people, shopping centers, beaches, or holiday activities. What did we do? We spent quality time together. Talking, sharing, reliving childhood memories, laughing, joking, and crying. Unconsciously, we temporarily forgot the outside world, the time of day, the situations of life. We were creating good memories for the future.

Often, at funerals and memorial services, we learn things about a person we never knew; and, wish we had gotten to know the person more deeply. We wish we had spent more quality time with them, and created more good memories. Not having, or taking, the opportunity to do so can bring on guilt, one of the deepest emotions of grief. Guilt because of things you didn't do, things you wanted to do, things you couldn't do. In order to move forward with this emotion of grief, begin to look at your own life. Determine what things you can do with family and friends to begin, or continue, creating good memories.

Make quality time a priority on your schedule for family and friends. You will be so glad that you did. Here is an exercise to get you started:

Set aside several hours to dedicate to this exercise. Schedule a time that will work for you and whomever you choose to spend this quality time with, i.e., a family member, close friend, friend you haven't spoken to in a while, a mentor, etc. Set the parameters for this time so both of you agree. I suggest the following:

• No cell phones, iPads, etc.
• A place away from home or office to allow for no distractions
• No time constraints to rush ending the time together
• No uninvited guests allowed

Well, I'm sure you get the point. I am willing to bet that many will find this exercise difficult to do, especially if you adhere to the "no cell phone" parameter.

Remember that each day you are creating a legacy for the family and friends that you will one day leave behind. Why not make a decision to leave them many good memories?

I would love to hear your results. How did you feel after the exercise? Will you do it again? Why or why not?

Statistics show that it normally takes 5-8 years to recover from a devastating loss. Dora Carpenter, Certified Grief Coach, Certified Life Coach, and founder of The ANIYA Group Life Coaching Center, says it doesn't have to take that long. Her grief coaching practice offers hope, encouragement and support. In her book, "The Grief to Gratitude Blueprint... What to Do When Death Occurs," Dora gives tips on 24-72 hours following a death... and beyond. Download her book at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0098B86XU. Read more about Dora at http://www.DoraCarpenter.com.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Caregiving For Elderly Parents - Managing Money Issues

By Sharon Elrod

Many seniors have elderly parents for whom they provide caregiving. Senior citizens are helping each other when they talk about their various experiences with aging parents. These are some conversations recently observed among seniors talking about parenting their parents.

One had an aging parent in a nursing home in another city. On their behalf, they recently sold some property from an estate for which they were a beneficiary. The funds were then deposited in an account to be used exclusivly for the parent. The procedure was then explained to the parent, whereupon they stated that they expected the funds to be deposited in a local bank account, so they "...can write checks" to use the money. This elderly parent has a slight cognitive impairment and medical reports from several different offices have noted her poor judgment and inability to do effective reality testing over the past decade; she was also recently a victim of an identity theft scam that left her totally perplexed about how she was victimized. She hasn't had access to a checking account for several years, and it became the editor's job to determine how he would handle this situation with his mother.

He decided to write a letter to his mother detailing how the funds were reserved for her use, and why he would remain in control of them, which in effect meant she would not have direct access to the money. He asked her to keep the letter so when she had questions about why she couldn't write checks on the account, she could refer to the letter for a detailed explanation. The letter was written in kind and loving tones, using simple language she could easily understand. He expects to hear questions from her about the funds, and he will both answer the questions as well as refer her to the letter that explains the entire process. He is credited with maintaining a loving and supportive relationship with his mother throughout his life, never giving her any reason to doubt his intentions with relationship to her.

Another senior citizen is dealing with an aging parent who managed his own financial affairs until just the past couple of months. He is severely cognitively impaired and unable to remember anything beyond a few seconds. Long term memory is somewhat better, but even details are confused when he relates a memory from years ago. Over several months, it became clear to the editor and her siblings that he was unable to manage his various investments alone and, in fact, there was some concern about the possibility of identity theft and being a victim of scams on the elderly. She knew action had to be taken sooner rather than later.

She and her siblings agreed they would ask him to voluntarily execute the power of attorney he had prepared several decades ago, realizing that if he did not agree, they would be faced with having him declared mentally incompetent-a place none of them wanted to go. When approached about the POA, he readily agreed to execute it, which now allows two of them to participate in all financial decisions that must be made on his behalf. The siblings are credited with maintaining a loving relationship with him over eight decades which was likely the basis for him feeling comfortable with signing the document.

On the surface, these two experiences have very little in common. However, the seniors discussing the issue agreed they learned an important lesson in caregiving for elderly parents: There aren't any 'rules' for how to deal with financial issues with elderly parents. Each situation must be carefully evaluated, taking in to account all the dynamics and variables that affect where the parent is at a given point in time, knowing that can change in the future. The best advice coming from the discussion is to act from a position of love and caregiving for one's parent, evaluating medical, social, environmental, mental, emotional, psychological realities of the parent, and then asking yourselves how you would want your child/children to act if you were the one receiving care.

Article provided by Sharon Shaw Elrod. Senior Citizen Journal, Your Partner in Productive Aging, provides current and relevant information on topics of interest to seniors. Please visit my web site at http://www.seniorcitizenjournal.com/.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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How Angels Help With Communicating With the Dead

By Steve G. Jones

Communicating with the dead can be a complicated process. Some people choose to hire professional psychics or mediums such as the ghost whisperer John Edwards. But that route can be expensive and though it may may take more time and patience, you can communicate with the dead on your own - well, with a little help from your angels!

The first thing to remember when seeking to communicate with the dead is that you want to come from a place of love and light. This is where your angels can come into to help you. Your angels are nothing but love and light and protection so it makes perfect sense to ask them assist you on your quest to communicate with departed loved ones or spirits.

The first step is to write down in a letter your purpose for wanting to communicate. To do this find a quiet space in your house, light some incense and candles. Relax with a few deep breaths and then begin by writing down the name of person that has passed on you are hoping to communicate with, any questions that you want to ask them and any other information you are hoping to gather from your session. End your letter by asking your angels for their assistance in this endeavor, ask them to surround you with love and light during the whole process and be sure to thank them in advance for their love and protection.

Once you are ready to begin your session you can call on your own guardian angels. We are all born with multiple guardian angels that were assigned to us and only us to stay with us throughout our lives and provide protection and guidance. You can call on them by simply asking aloud or in your head for them to come be by your side and they will. You may not be able to see them but trust that they are there. After calling on your own guardian angels for protection and assistance I would also ask for the guidance of an archangel. You can pick anyone that you desire as they are all powerful protectors and messengers, but if you are unsure the one I would recommend calling on first is the Archangel Gabriel. She is a powerful archangel entrusted with many duties, but among them is the ability to help us receive visions. She assists us when we are blocked spiritually, and helps us to receive messages or visions, including those from our loved ones that have passed on. To call on her is as simple as calling on your own guardian angels, just ask for her and she will be by your side.

Now that you have written down your purpose for communicating with dead and called on your angels for guidance and protection you are ready to begin your session. Simply find a quiet space to relax, light a few white candles and begin by reading your letter aloud, then trust your inner voice and begin your journey towards communicating with the dead.

Steve G. Jones is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. He is a member of the National Guild of Hypnotists, American Board of Hypnotherapy, president of the American Alliance of Hypnotists, on the board of directors of the Los Angeles chapter of the American Lung Association, and director of the California state registered Steve G. Jones School of Hypnotherapy. In order to keep up with the very latest in research, he regularly attends training conferences. Learn more by visiting:

http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.com/

Learn more about in Steve G. Jone's guide for astral projection

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Planning Funeral Arrangements

By Jason Ellis

Unless your loved one left detailed instructions on the type of funeral, it is up to you and other family members to decide on the most appropriate way to put your loved one to rest. The decision might be guided by his or her religious affiliation, or simply by financial means. Sometimes, you have to take into consideration the personality and passions of your loved one. For example, if he or she was avid environmentalist, traditional funeral is not a good option.

Most people opt for traditional funeral, but before deciding on that you should explore the options. Traditional funerals are by far the most expensive kind. Count to spend at least $10,000 and probably much more. Other options are not only cheaper, but are more environmentally friendly and make more sense.

Donating body to the medical science means that the entire body will be used by teaching hospitals. In most cases, it is free and the hospital takes care of the removal of the body, embalming and later cremation. This is a good option if your loved one ever expressed interest in it, if he or she had particular affiliation with some hospital or if you and the rest of the family believe that it makes sense that the body can continue to contribute to the society even after death. If interested in this option, get in touch with the local teaching hospital and ask them for details.

Cremation is another affordable option. If your state has a Cremation Society, they can arrange to take the body directly to the crematory. The cost is about $500. If you let the local funeral home take care of the cremation, the cost will be much higher.

You can arrange for a cremation even if you opted for a traditional funeral service, with viewing, embalming and the whole costly set. Some state legislations require that the cremation is arranged through a funeral home.

It is good to know that, according to the US law, the body can be cremated in a shroud, or a simple biodegradable box which is not a coffin, for a very small fee.

You do not have to accept the urn that your funeral home offers. If you decide to keep the ashes of your loved one, you can find a nice vase, urn or ginger jar that you will enjoy having in your home. Alternative is to scatter the ashes over the sea, in the park or in the garden, as your loved one would have wished.

Green burial is gaining popularity, especially among the more environmentally conscious people. The bodies are buried in shallow graves in special Green Cemeteries, without the embalming and in simple, biodegradable boxes. The graves are often marked with GPS or a flat stone, or with a tree or plant, so that the place can be visited later.

Some funeral homes now offer green burials in regular cemeteries, but the costs are much higher.

A Home funeral means that the entire process is done at home. There is no embalming

of the body, so appropriate refrigeration with dry ice has to be ensured. This consideration also makes home funeral faster than in the funeral home.

Home funerals are legal in most states and are traditional in many cultures. They allow family to say good-bye to the loved one in a very personal way.

Home funerals are also much cheaper than public funerals in funeral homes, what can be an important consideration in difficult financial times.

Traditional funerals are still the most popular in spite of the exorbitant costs, because of their familiarity. Traditional funerals are organized by funeral homes, who offer to take the body, embalm it, and prepare it for viewing, service and burial.

Funeral service can be religious or non-religious. If it is not religious, you are free to organize it the way you believe your loved one would want it, with friends and family sharing their memories, with the music he or she loved.

Don't forget that the funeral service is actually for the living, the departed loved one is past caring. It is the time and place to offer comfort, share the grief and celebrate life. It is an important part of the grief process.

Chances are you're undergoing some turbulent emotions at this time, planning a memorial service or a funeral. Remember, you're currently going through the 5 grief stages so try not to add any additional stress into your life at this time.
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Belief in the Afterlife - What Does Heaven Look Like?

By Hanna Kounov

I have been meditating extensively over the last months about the Afterlife and what that means to me. I know that one day I will leave this Earth Walk and return to the Source to be re-born again to learn, grow and become ever more connected to Spirit. It is a shame in a way that I will not recall my current life however but should my Soul feel the same pull towards Spirit as it has during this Earth Walk I am sure to be okay. Perhaps if I did remember the last life time it might stunt my growth in the next. Who can be sure.

This is my belief system... that my Soul will choose to leave this life and will choose to come back again and again until I don't need to do so anymore. What makes my Soul decide that it doesn't need to come back anymore... I can only speculate.

Not everyone believes the same thing I do. Does that make what I believe wrong - or for that matter is what they believe wrong? I don't think so.

During my last meditation I had a definite moment of clarity. Everyone's Afterlife is what they believe it to be! If you believe in heaven... then that is the Afterlife you will have. If you believe in Reincarnation then that will be your Afterlife experience etc.

Why not? Spirit can do anything in the Universe... maybe Spirit is the Universe and of course there is always the chance that there are parallel alternate Universes. Wow the mind boggles!!

If we just keep it simple I think I can say with certainty that we get what we believe. Our minds are the most powerful tool we have while we are alive. It can make or break us with its rhetoric. If we believe we can make things happen, even miracles, or we can ruin everything with a single negative thought. So therefore if we believe that we are going to go to heaven then that is what we shall receive. Spirit would not allow us to have such conviction and then give us something we never expected.

As a believer in Spirit I hesitate to consider what atheists will experience. I am not sure what they expect to receive; nothing? Is that what they will receive? I doubt it. I believe they will receive a chance to return and do it all again and hopefully in that life connect with Spirit after all we are given the choice every Earth Walk to do just that. I think it raises some interesting questions that I will have to meditate on further...

It is really anyone's guess...

Love and Light

Hanna Kounov is certified Psychotherapist, Author, International Speaker and Guide. 

 Hanna explains her coaching approach as follows: "As a certified Psychotherapist it became clear to me that standard Western medicine seems to address illness by applying a band-aid to trauma. This led me to open up to other ideas and "new" ancient ways of healing the body, mind, emotions and spirit. To that end I have embraced, and will continue to study Shamanism. Shamanism is a natural extension that connects seamlessly with my Intuitive Coaching style".

Hanna is a spiritual seeker and since the first fledgling steps that propelled her on her journey she has altered her attitude towards life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Find out more at: Website: http://www.hannadejager.com LinkeIn: http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/hanna-kounov/44/14b/532

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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How To Help Your Child Cope With The Death Of Their Dog

By Gina M Dawson

One of my most vivid memories as a child was facing the death of my dog. When I discovered that an accident had killed my dog, my childhood mind was glad that my beloved companion was in heaven. I was happy that he had found eternal rest. My aunt and sisters scolded me when they found that I wasn't upset and crying. They told me that death was a sad time. In truth, as a child, I felt that I was seeing things very clearly. I would tell my childhood self that it is okay that I saw my dog as being with God.

I know that there is a better way to help your child through the death of their pet. Many of us don't know what to do when our child's dog dies. We often react and take the first action that comes to mind. Instead, may I suggest, that there is a better way. Planning for such a life changing event can help your child learn to deal with death. Learning early to face the passing of a pet will help them face the loss of a grandma, or parent, or sibling.

First recognize that the pet is gone. Avoiding the trauma by replacing their dog with another puppy is not the answer. He is not ready for a new puppy, and this will bring on more confusion. Let your child know that the pet has died. Explain that it is okay, and that we can say goodbye to their beloved pet. Let the child see the dog and know that life has left its body. Explain that their pet has died and is not coming back. If you believe in heaven, let the child know that the dog has gone to heaven, and that everything is okay. Reassure your child that it is not their fault that the pet is gone. Many times children will make it their fault that something bad has happened.

Second give your child time to say goodbye. Having a funeral for his pet will give your child a chance to come to terms with what has happened. This will allow him to go through the grief process. Don't rush your child in how he should feel about the death of his dog. It might take some time for him to get over the loss. Time spent missing his dog will allow him to learn to deal with death. This is a lesson that he will take with him throughout his life.

Third, allow time to pass before introducing another dog into the family. Avoid rushing into the relationship with another pet. A rebound effect, such as rejection of the new dog, or not bonding with the new dog, will occur. Causing a strained relationship with the new dog.

Finally, accept the way that your child wants to mourn the loss. Projection of your feelings on how your think a child should morn will prevent your child from learning to sort through his feelings. If he is happy that their dog is in heaven, let him be happy. Tears can always come later when he is ready.

Visit our website and blog for all the helpful dog hints you need to keep your dog and children healthy and happy. Gina Dawson is the owner of dawsondogs.com the one stop source for all your pets needs.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Death and Burial in America: Going Out in Style

By Janice Doyle

Dying in the United States is an $11 billion industry - with even Walmart and Costco offering caskets today. More and more creative entrepreneurs are looking into the great beyond and turning the afterlife into a booming aftermarket.

But it's been hard coming. The industry has been very change resistant. In past decades when a family member died, funeral plans basically followed in the way parents had done funerals before.

In 1963, Jessica Mitford wrote The American Way of Death which attacked the funeral industry's unscrupulous business practices to take advantage of grieving families. The book became a major bestseller and led to Congressional hearings on the funeral industry. And things began to change.

What has happened in the funeral industry since then?

The number one change, everyone agrees, has been cremation as an alternative to the now $7,500 average cost of a traditional burial. For example, nearly 50 percent of all deceased in Florida are cremated (in Lee County 65%). In Japan and the Scandinavian countries percentages reach as high as 95%.

Cremation has brought its own industry. Undertakers have now developed every sort of way to upgrade and upsell cremation. From fancy caskets and fancy funerals of traditional burials, people may turn to cremation and a memorial service - and maybe more.

Whichever way a person chooses, today's consumer wants things done his own way, with special touches for the occasion of a loved one's dying, according to the National Funeral Director's Association's website.

Want to go "green" and bequeath yourself literally to the dirt with a "natural burial"? Eternal Rest Memories Park in Dunedin, Florida, offers that option.

Or go green in a Kinkaraco Green Burial Shroud with pockets for mementos and a stiff backboard and handles for lowering the body. (Would that be "mort couture"?)

Ashes, Ashes, What to do?

Cremation used to be simple. Have Grandma cremated and put her ashes in a box on the shelf. Now the sky (or the sea, or the forest) is the limit as to where your cremains may be placed.

Cremation uses heat, vaporization and flame to reduce the body to its basic elements. In Florida, this process costs from $1,000 to $5,000 depending on the level of luxury afforded by the funeral home itself.

Then, someone gets the ashes. Now what?

They can be scattered, kept in a box, made into a diamond ($3,500 - $20,000 at LifeGem.com) or launched into space ($600 for an up and back trip or $12,500 to be dropped on the moon). Ashes can be added to planting soil or made into pencil lead.

Jason Rew offers the Great Burial Reef option, an opportunity to actually help create life. His Bradenton, Florida, company offers a multi-tier-shaped urn made of concrete mixed with six special natural ingredients to create a coralized texture.

Once the 60-pound urn is put on the ocean floor, little fish and marine animals find the nooks and crannies and hide there, creating a new living space under water.

Families from all over have brought or sent loved one's cremains to one of the company's four ports of call (Sarasota, Chesapeake Bay, Miami and Boston). The cremains are sealed in the urn, put aboard a boat and taken three miles offshore where the urn is lowered into the water.

The company will ship the $1000 basic sealable Living Urn anywhere in the world and families can find a spot in any ocean for placement.

Well, what about all those shoeboxes and envelopes with ashes in them?

The National Funeral Directors Association estimates there are 7 to 11 million urns and boxes sitting in houses because no one knows what to do with the cremains. Rew says, "Get Grandma off the shelf and let your ancestor create life in one of our urns."

Folks are looking for alternatives and entrepreneurs - like Great Burial Reef - are giving them what they want, which is a good thing for the industry.

And no matter how hard a funeral director might put his foot down and think that a Star Trek casket or urn is tacky, the fact is, if someone wants to go out as a Trekkie, the Internet now lets you make it happen.

"The funeral industry has been very staid and traditional," says Rew. It's an industry that others say was the last industry to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

But it's being reinvented, sometimes one death at a time.
 

The author is a free lance writer and editor in Florida specializing in senior issues, relationships, healthy lifestyle and travel.
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Caregiving For Elderly Parents - Decision-Making

By Sharon Elrod

Caregiving for elderly parents is an increasingly searched topic on the Internet. Many of us seniors are caring for our elderly parents, some in their own homes, and some in senior living residences such as assisted living and nursing homes. No matter the living accommodations, we have the same issues to consider as we care for our loved ones. 'Loved ones' means we may be talking about our parent(s), extended elderly family members (aunts and uncles) or close elderly friends for whom we have accepted care and responsibility in their last years.

The gamut of decision making options is available to you and others with whom you may share caregiving.. How do you decide how decision-making is handled? How much to you control, and how much does the elderly parent/relative control?
 These are some guidelines that you may find helpful as you continue on this journey:

• Always include the elder in as much decision-making as is possible given their unique situation with regard to cognitive functioning, safety issues, emotional state, physical condition, economics and practicality.
• Dad may want to make a 1500 mile road trip, but at 94, he can't find the wind shield wipers in the car. So you try to help him understand why he cannot make the trip, and explore other possibilities for going where he wants to go.
• Mother may want to cook three meals a day, but her shoulder injury from a recent fall prohibits her from being able to lift a pan from the cupboard to the stove. So you talk with her about options for meals including a delivery service (e.g., Meals on Wheels or a private in-home delivery service, depending upon economics).
• Aunt Isabel was found walking along side a country road over a mile from her farm house. It was raining. The sheriff deputy knew her and you, and she called you to come get your Aunt. Her Alzheimer's had progressed to the point that you finally had to make the decision to place her in a Memory Care Unit in the local Assisted Living Facility. She needed care and couldn't make the decision for herself. It was up to you to decide on her behalf because she could not participate.
• During your weekly visit with your father, in his own home, he tells you he wants only a private family burial service when he dies. He does not want a church service, nor anything in the funeral home. Although he has serious dementia, you believe he has thought this through and this is his choice. You honor his choice when he dies.
• Your aunt and uncle, ages 92 and 91, are still driving. You are aware of the safety issues as well as their need to remain as independent as possible. You talk with them about both safety and independence, and try to strike a bargain with them offering to drive them to appointments, grocery shopping and other transport needs. If economics allow and if they agree, you hire a private driving service if you are unable to do the driving for them. If economics do not allow, and if they agree, you strike agreements with two or three other family members to take turns driving for them. If they do not agree, you may need the assistance of a physician (neurologist?) to determine whether or not safe driving is still an option-particularly if you have reason to believe they are not safe driving.

The operative thought here is to include the elder in as much decision-making as is reasonable and possible given their unique set of life circumstances.

Article provided by Sharon Shaw Elrod. Senior Citizen Journal, Your Partner in Productive Aging, provides current and relevant information on topics of interest to seniors. Please visit my web site at http://www.seniorcitizenjournal.com/.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Creating an Online Memorial Website Can Help With Grief and Bereavement

By Mark Dubray

Coping with the loss of a loved one and the grief that ensues can be overwhelming and sometimes difficult to manage. Death is one unavoidable certainty that we can expect in one's lifetime but that we rarely think about on a regular basis. So when it does occur, we are sometimes unprepared. This can cause a lot of stress in a person's life, and they may not know how to deal with it.

Bereavement from losing a loved one can be one of the most stressful events in a person's life. Stress, especially if persistent in nature, can affect a person's well-being and lead to serious health problems that may disturb multiple organ systems. The digestive, immune, cardiovascular and nervous systems may all be afflicted and lead to potential life threatening conditions such as bleeding ulcers, chronic infections, depression, diabetes, and heart disease. If a person does not address their grief and the stress associated with it, it may alter their overall health status for the worse.

With the advent of the internet, more people are using online means to seek out social support and facilitate the grieving process. One such medium is an online memorial website, where people can create a profile to commemorate a deceased loved one. Memorial websites can help to honor the legacy of loved ones through contributions from other people from around the globe. Photos, videos, and messages are some of the features that can be shared by family and friends and thus a place to preserve these memories for future generations to enjoy.

Online memorials have become a beneficial platform for those in mourning by allowing access to support from family and friends. Sharing meaningful memories of the deceased with others can help to initiate positive emotions. Research has shown that conjuring positive emotions and a strong social support network during times of grief can help reduce the effects of both chronic and acute stress, as well as allow a person to recover from grief faster.

Benefits of creating an online memorial:

1. It can give unlimited access to a support network of family and friends from all over the world.
2. It can help bring out positive emotions and, therefore, reduce stress and heal faster.
3. It can be a place to preserve favorite memories of a loved one through shared comments, photos and videos.
4. It can allow a bereaved individual to discuss their feelings, at any time of the day, with people who may be dealing with a similar grief.
5. It can be a place to create a family tree to be passed on to future generations.

It should be noted that in certain circumstances, such as with a sudden or traumatic death of a loved one, how a person copes can vary from person-to-person. At some point, there may be a need for professional intervention.

MemoryChestMemorials.com is an online memorial website that offers interactive memorial profiles to commemorate a loved one forever. It also donates a portion of its proceeds to a variety of charities.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_Dubray
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7453437

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Caregiver Stress - 6 Tips to Avoid Burning Out

By Martin R. Sabel

Taking care of an elderly parent can be a Jekyll and Hyde experience for family caregivers.
On the one hand providing care to an aging parent can be very rewarding. It brings the caregiver adult child and their parent closer together. On the other hand, increasing responsibilities ramp up caregiver stress and heightens tension within the family. Anxiety and worry increase when the caregiver is maintaining a job, caring for his or her own children, leads an active social life, and must travel to care for the elderly relative.

The tasks of caregiving - running errands, cooking, cleaning, home maintenance, taking your mom or dad to doctors - appointments often exacts both an emotional and physical toll on the caregiver. In fact the pressures of caregiving are so great that 58% of caregivers show symptoms of clinical depression.

Pay attention to how you are feeling. To be an effective caregiver to your aging parent means staying alert to the warning signs of excess stress. Some of the common signs of caregiver stress include:

• Feelings of sadness
• Moodiness
• Excessive crying
• Low energy
• Feeling isolate
• Difficulty sleeping
• Over and under eating
• Withdrawal from family and/or friends
• Excessive wait gain or loss
• Anger towards the care recipient or other family members

These signs are leading indicators of depression. Depression impacts not only your ability to care for someone else, it harms your mental and physical health, too. If you feel you need more help, you're not alone. According to a study by Home Instead, the national in-home, elderly companionship and home care company, three out of every ten family caregivers agree they could use more help.

Six Tips That Manage Stress and Avoid Caregiver Burnout

1. Hire professional, non-medical caregiving assistance to give you important relief from the daily demands on you.
2. Ask your family and friends to help. It's less expensive than hiring someone and you know the qualify of care your parent will get.
3. Get informed about your elderly parents condition. Contact disease specific support groups. They offer a wealth of information to help you understand what is happening to your loved one and what to expect in the future. Most have active caregiver support groups that can help you better cope with increasing stress.
4. Get your loved one assessed. A geriatric care manager can provide an accurate needs assessment of your loved one. Doing so extends your caregiving abilities, can conserve family resources, and often helps prevent the need of a nursing home.
5. Learn stress-management exercises such as yoga or tai-chi. The exercise is good for your overall health and the emphasis on inner balance and relaxation is good for your mental well-being.
6. Take a break. Caring for an elderly parent is a job. Getting away from the daily grind allows you to recharge yourself. Make arrangements to take a few days off and arrange for help with family and friends, volunteers from church or professional caregivers.

Caregiver burnout is avoidable. To manage caregiver stress requires proactively taking care of yourself while taking care of your aging parent.

With the right information, you can reduce caregiver stress, keep your life in balance, save money and get better care for your elderly parents. To help you reduce the anxiety of caring for an elderly parent, I invite you to instantly access my FREE Weekly Eldercare Advisor. You'll discover both practical caregiving strategies and important resources for taking care of elderly parents without bankrupting yourself emotionally or financially.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Martin_R._Sabel
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/3746282

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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