Communicating With Deceased Relatives - How Can I Talk to My Family on the Other Side?

By Tina Bardo

Is communicating with the spirits of your loved ones after they have passed away unusual?
Is it unhealthy? Is it strange, weird or something to be embarrassed of, or is it a normal and perfectly healthy way of healing or helping with grief?

Is seeking out a psychic or a medium or someone who talks to the dead an odd obsession, or can it play an instrumental part of the puzzle when it comes to moving on?

The truth is, for those of us who write about the amazing healing benefits that having a credible communication with your loved ones can bring, traditional therapists and psychologists are now coming to the very same conclusions.

Why? Because the fact is, no matter WHAT you believe... it's impossible to ignore the fact that so many folks feel incredibly healed by having an experience they believe is a genuine and authentic communication with someone they've loved and lost. (most commonly a spouse, child or parent who has passed on, sometimes suddenly and without the opportunity to say a proper goodbye)
Even if you believe that spirit communication is silly, it's impossible to argue with the fact that many people who experience it, first hand report all sorts of amazing and life changing benefits that YEARS of therapy, or time... can do to lessen the feeling of loss after a loved one passes away.

Are psychic mediums the ONLY way to communicate with deceased friends and family members on the other side?

Absolutely NOT. And while mediums are often thought of as the only way to communicate with the spirits of those who have passed on, the truth is, there are many other ways as well... many of which happen completely spontaneously, and without any other input at all.

As a matter of fact, about HALF of all people will report some sort of afterlife experience with a family member or close friend, without any help from a psychic or medium or any sort of spiritual technique at all. (spontaneous, unplanned spiritual visitation experiences are very common, highly under-reported, and often life changing as well)

In addition...

There are tons of tools, and techniques that can help facilitate spirit communication, and they run the gamut from EMDR (rapid eye movement therapy) to mirror gazing, EVP, using a Ouija style tool or of course, seeking out the advice of a credible psychic or medium if the above sounds too weird for you, especially if you are curious but NOT yet convinced.

The key is - believe in SOMETHING. And be willing to explore the extraordinary.

It WILL change your life. (and what you come to KNOW happens AFTER your life, and the lives of all you love as well!)

Want PROOF?

Communicate with Your Deceased Relatives and Loved Ones From the Comfort of Your Own Home. Get Personal PROOF The Afterlife is Real (100% Guaranteed)

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Planning Funeral Arrangements

By Jason Ellis

Unless your loved one left detailed instructions on the type of funeral, it is up to you and other family members to decide on the most appropriate way to put your loved one to rest. The decision might be guided by his or her religious affiliation, or simply by financial means. Sometimes, you have to take into consideration the personality and passions of your loved one. For example, if he or she was avid environmentalist, traditional funeral is not a good option.

Most people opt for traditional funeral, but before deciding on that you should explore the options. Traditional funerals are by far the most expensive kind. Count to spend at least $10,000 and probably much more. Other options are not only cheaper, but are more environmentally friendly and make more sense.

Donating body to the medical science means that the entire body will be used by teaching hospitals. In most cases, it is free and the hospital takes care of the removal of the body, embalming and later cremation. This is a good option if your loved one ever expressed interest in it, if he or she had particular affiliation with some hospital or if you and the rest of the family believe that it makes sense that the body can continue to contribute to the society even after death. If interested in this option, get in touch with the local teaching hospital and ask them for details.

Cremation is another affordable option. If your state has a Cremation Society, they can arrange to take the body directly to the crematory. The cost is about $500. If you let the local funeral home take care of the cremation, the cost will be much higher.

You can arrange for a cremation even if you opted for a traditional funeral service, with viewing, embalming and the whole costly set. Some state legislations require that the cremation is arranged through a funeral home.

It is good to know that, according to the US law, the body can be cremated in a shroud, or a simple biodegradable box which is not a coffin, for a very small fee.

You do not have to accept the urn that your funeral home offers. If you decide to keep the ashes of your loved one, you can find a nice vase, urn or ginger jar that you will enjoy having in your home. Alternative is to scatter the ashes over the sea, in the park or in the garden, as your loved one would have wished.

Green burial is gaining popularity, especially among the more environmentally conscious people. The bodies are buried in shallow graves in special Green Cemeteries, without the embalming and in simple, biodegradable boxes. The graves are often marked with GPS or a flat stone, or with a tree or plant, so that the place can be visited later.

Some funeral homes now offer green burials in regular cemeteries, but the costs are much higher.

A Home funeral means that the entire process is done at home. There is no embalming

of the body, so appropriate refrigeration with dry ice has to be ensured. This consideration also makes home funeral faster than in the funeral home.

Home funerals are legal in most states and are traditional in many cultures. They allow family to say good-bye to the loved one in a very personal way.

Home funerals are also much cheaper than public funerals in funeral homes, what can be an important consideration in difficult financial times.

Traditional funerals are still the most popular in spite of the exorbitant costs, because of their familiarity. Traditional funerals are organized by funeral homes, who offer to take the body, embalm it, and prepare it for viewing, service and burial.

Funeral service can be religious or non-religious. If it is not religious, you are free to organize it the way you believe your loved one would want it, with friends and family sharing their memories, with the music he or she loved.

Don't forget that the funeral service is actually for the living, the departed loved one is past caring. It is the time and place to offer comfort, share the grief and celebrate life. It is an important part of the grief process.

Chances are you're undergoing some turbulent emotions at this time, planning a memorial service or a funeral. Remember, you're currently going through the 5 grief stages so try not to add any additional stress into your life at this time.
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Belief in the Afterlife - What Does Heaven Look Like?

By Hanna Kounov

I have been meditating extensively over the last months about the Afterlife and what that means to me. I know that one day I will leave this Earth Walk and return to the Source to be re-born again to learn, grow and become ever more connected to Spirit. It is a shame in a way that I will not recall my current life however but should my Soul feel the same pull towards Spirit as it has during this Earth Walk I am sure to be okay. Perhaps if I did remember the last life time it might stunt my growth in the next. Who can be sure.

This is my belief system... that my Soul will choose to leave this life and will choose to come back again and again until I don't need to do so anymore. What makes my Soul decide that it doesn't need to come back anymore... I can only speculate.

Not everyone believes the same thing I do. Does that make what I believe wrong - or for that matter is what they believe wrong? I don't think so.

During my last meditation I had a definite moment of clarity. Everyone's Afterlife is what they believe it to be! If you believe in heaven... then that is the Afterlife you will have. If you believe in Reincarnation then that will be your Afterlife experience etc.

Why not? Spirit can do anything in the Universe... maybe Spirit is the Universe and of course there is always the chance that there are parallel alternate Universes. Wow the mind boggles!!

If we just keep it simple I think I can say with certainty that we get what we believe. Our minds are the most powerful tool we have while we are alive. It can make or break us with its rhetoric. If we believe we can make things happen, even miracles, or we can ruin everything with a single negative thought. So therefore if we believe that we are going to go to heaven then that is what we shall receive. Spirit would not allow us to have such conviction and then give us something we never expected.

As a believer in Spirit I hesitate to consider what atheists will experience. I am not sure what they expect to receive; nothing? Is that what they will receive? I doubt it. I believe they will receive a chance to return and do it all again and hopefully in that life connect with Spirit after all we are given the choice every Earth Walk to do just that. I think it raises some interesting questions that I will have to meditate on further...

It is really anyone's guess...

Love and Light

Hanna Kounov is certified Psychotherapist, Author, International Speaker and Guide. 

 Hanna explains her coaching approach as follows: "As a certified Psychotherapist it became clear to me that standard Western medicine seems to address illness by applying a band-aid to trauma. This led me to open up to other ideas and "new" ancient ways of healing the body, mind, emotions and spirit. To that end I have embraced, and will continue to study Shamanism. Shamanism is a natural extension that connects seamlessly with my Intuitive Coaching style".

Hanna is a spiritual seeker and since the first fledgling steps that propelled her on her journey she has altered her attitude towards life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Find out more at: Website: http://www.hannadejager.com LinkeIn: http://ca.linkedin.com/pub/hanna-kounov/44/14b/532

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Death and Burial in America: Going Out in Style

By Janice Doyle

Dying in the United States is an $11 billion industry - with even Walmart and Costco offering caskets today. More and more creative entrepreneurs are looking into the great beyond and turning the afterlife into a booming aftermarket.

But it's been hard coming. The industry has been very change resistant. In past decades when a family member died, funeral plans basically followed in the way parents had done funerals before.

In 1963, Jessica Mitford wrote The American Way of Death which attacked the funeral industry's unscrupulous business practices to take advantage of grieving families. The book became a major bestseller and led to Congressional hearings on the funeral industry. And things began to change.

What has happened in the funeral industry since then?

The number one change, everyone agrees, has been cremation as an alternative to the now $7,500 average cost of a traditional burial. For example, nearly 50 percent of all deceased in Florida are cremated (in Lee County 65%). In Japan and the Scandinavian countries percentages reach as high as 95%.

Cremation has brought its own industry. Undertakers have now developed every sort of way to upgrade and upsell cremation. From fancy caskets and fancy funerals of traditional burials, people may turn to cremation and a memorial service - and maybe more.

Whichever way a person chooses, today's consumer wants things done his own way, with special touches for the occasion of a loved one's dying, according to the National Funeral Director's Association's website.

Want to go "green" and bequeath yourself literally to the dirt with a "natural burial"? Eternal Rest Memories Park in Dunedin, Florida, offers that option.

Or go green in a Kinkaraco Green Burial Shroud with pockets for mementos and a stiff backboard and handles for lowering the body. (Would that be "mort couture"?)

Ashes, Ashes, What to do?

Cremation used to be simple. Have Grandma cremated and put her ashes in a box on the shelf. Now the sky (or the sea, or the forest) is the limit as to where your cremains may be placed.

Cremation uses heat, vaporization and flame to reduce the body to its basic elements. In Florida, this process costs from $1,000 to $5,000 depending on the level of luxury afforded by the funeral home itself.

Then, someone gets the ashes. Now what?

They can be scattered, kept in a box, made into a diamond ($3,500 - $20,000 at LifeGem.com) or launched into space ($600 for an up and back trip or $12,500 to be dropped on the moon). Ashes can be added to planting soil or made into pencil lead.

Jason Rew offers the Great Burial Reef option, an opportunity to actually help create life. His Bradenton, Florida, company offers a multi-tier-shaped urn made of concrete mixed with six special natural ingredients to create a coralized texture.

Once the 60-pound urn is put on the ocean floor, little fish and marine animals find the nooks and crannies and hide there, creating a new living space under water.

Families from all over have brought or sent loved one's cremains to one of the company's four ports of call (Sarasota, Chesapeake Bay, Miami and Boston). The cremains are sealed in the urn, put aboard a boat and taken three miles offshore where the urn is lowered into the water.

The company will ship the $1000 basic sealable Living Urn anywhere in the world and families can find a spot in any ocean for placement.

Well, what about all those shoeboxes and envelopes with ashes in them?

The National Funeral Directors Association estimates there are 7 to 11 million urns and boxes sitting in houses because no one knows what to do with the cremains. Rew says, "Get Grandma off the shelf and let your ancestor create life in one of our urns."

Folks are looking for alternatives and entrepreneurs - like Great Burial Reef - are giving them what they want, which is a good thing for the industry.

And no matter how hard a funeral director might put his foot down and think that a Star Trek casket or urn is tacky, the fact is, if someone wants to go out as a Trekkie, the Internet now lets you make it happen.

"The funeral industry has been very staid and traditional," says Rew. It's an industry that others say was the last industry to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

But it's being reinvented, sometimes one death at a time.
 

The author is a free lance writer and editor in Florida specializing in senior issues, relationships, healthy lifestyle and travel.
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Eco-Friendly Funerals: Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust

By Lee Power

People are choosing to live an eco-friendly or green life, so it comes as no surprise that they choose to have an eco-friendly or green funeral. An eco friendly funeral may be the deceased's choice or the bereaved family may take their own initiative. a green funeral ensures that the body decomposes naturally and completely and it becomes one with nature. This adheres to the adage "ashes to ashes and dust to dust". Some people may think of it as a new age fad, but in fact, it is returning to age-old practices that our ancestors practiced.

If you would like to plan an eco-friendly or green funeral, you will need to locate a funeral home that offers green funerals as part of their services. They may be specialists or a green funeral may be among the different services they offer. There are a number of green funeral homes in the country. They offer complete services as well as a burial in the woodlands. This would mean that no separate place is marked out as a cemetery. Instead, the body is buried in natural environment, with local trees and green vegetation around it.

An eco-friendly or green funeral turns out much less inexpensive when compared to the now traditional funerals. One of the first aspects of a green funeral is that the body is not embalmed. This ensures that no toxic chemicals used during the embalming process are let into the sewers. The next step is to choose an only wood or cardboard casket that will decompose completely with time. The eco-friendly caskets do not have any metal parts. Some families may also decide to bury the body without the casket, with only a shroud to cover the body. The next step would be to avoid a vault so that the casket and its contents decompose naturally with time.

A woodland burial is a complete eco-friendly or green funeral. In most incidents, a sapling is planted to mark the hand-dug grave that is slowly taken over by the natural vegetation around. You may opt for a simple headstone if you wish to.

If you're searching for a more eco-friendly method to arrange for the management of your remains after passing away, think about the following five alternatives:

• Bios Urn: While using the remains of cremation and thus not actually eco-friendly, Bios Urns enable ashes to be combined with the pre-packed earth of a ready-to-plant tree or shrub seedling.
• Alkaline hydrolysis: This procedure may seem a bit industrialized and consequently environmentally damaging, however, it is in reality probably the most environmentally-friendly answer to dealing with human remains to be developed. Quite simply a person's remains are immersed in a tank of chemical substances which break down tissue very quickly and change bone tissue into a floury compound.
• Corpse-eating mushrooms: Fungus grows on rotting organic substance, making it a perfect solution as a way to naturally eliminate human is still.

• Green burials: The conventional burial isn't necessarily harmful to the natural environment, it's only the additions we have created like complex embalming procedures and "secured" burial containers. By choosing a more naturally degradable casket and requiring that morticians stay away from embalming in favor of other possibilities, you may still have a "traditional" burial with out it becoming bad for the environment.
• Donate to science: No matter if for use by a school of medicine or even for observation at a human body farm, giving one's body to scientific research isn't just environmentally friendly.

Living an eco-friendly life implies needing to take into account the environmental effects of how we deal with dying. If you are seriously interested in learning to be an eco-friendly person, then you should think about environmentally safer options to conventional methods of dealing with human remains by visiting Funeral Blues - a store dedicated to helping you choose! http://funeralblues.org

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Grieving Losses That Can't Be Prepared For

By Steve Wickham

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night."
~Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892-1950)

As a new parent-to-be (after nearly 15 years since my last child was born) I have found myself strangely cognisant of the fact that I can prepare for the baby's birth, yet, in some ways, I will be inadequately prepared, come what may. The same revelation hits the person who has lost a dear one to a prolonged battle; a wife or husband, a child, or a parent; a best friend. Such losses we have time to prepare for, but there is no preparing for what it might be like when they are actually gone.

The experience of loss, as captured in the quote above, is a void where we have no way of imagining the loved one as gone - in reality.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

That's about as clinical as our understanding gets. And whilst it is a relief for many to have said their goodbyes, there is always the anguish of missing these dear ones. With time and love we have access to healing, and best of all is the remembrance of their lives and the impact they made on us and others.

THE FINALITY OF DEATH

It seems so obvious to state that death is final, and we know no better truth throughout our lives than this, but experiencing death as a final and lasting phenomenon always shocks our human sensibility.

We can know that God is behind all creation and our existence by the fact that we are mortal; that there is nothing we can do about our living, breathing life spans.

When, for one of many reasons, we die, our deaths proclaim evidence of the Lord. Because our lives are given to us as gifts, and are taken away with just as much lack of control on our parts, our lives are given (and taken) by a Higher Power - God.

However long we live will not change one fact: we will never get used to the idea of death. It will continue to confound us, unless we, with God, accept the mysteries abounding in death. We need to surrender all our ill-feeling to our compassionate God.

THE 'WHY' OF GRIEF

Many people want to know why we experience grief.

It's because we are inherently emotional beings; thinking, feeling individuals with not only the capacity for love, but the eternal design to love. It's because of love that we grieve so much. If we were able to not love, the pain of grief could be overcome easily.

With an eternal design wired biologically into us (Ecclesiastes 3:11), we have no choice but to love, unless we would have our consciences seared, and that is no safe alternative.

We are 'condemned' to grieve because of love, but such a thing is not really a condemnation; love simply forces us to grow, and where we can't grow we can't belong to love. Remaining in fear is an inferior choice, but love requires courage; we can manage just one day at a time.

***

Many losses we cannot prepare for, even those losses connected with terminal illnesses. Grief, we see, is a product of love, and, because we can't help but love, we will grieve our losses terribly. But God is in this with us, growing us toward him in the healing.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
 

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/
 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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How to Explain To Your Children The Facts About Dying

By Amy Twain
One of the best things you could do to prepare your children for the prospect of death is to discuss about it with them ahead of time. It is important that you teach your kids that dying is merely an aspect of one's life and at one point or another you and your children would be faced with death.

So it is essential to help them be comfortable with the issue. Some cultures in fact welcome and embrace the subject of dying and can see it as an opportunity for new life and re-birth. Your approach to the subject may differ a little depending on your spiritual beliefs. It is very significant that you really consider your emotional and spiritual beliefs about dying and death and come to entirely embrace them before even opening the topic with your kids.

This would assist you facilitate a more clear-cut and impacting discussion when the time comes to converse about death and dying.

Here are some tips for introducing the topic with your children.

1.) Acknowledge your own emotions and feelings. In order for your kids to accept dying, you must first come to terms with it. Take some time to evaluate and examine your own emotions and be more comfortable with the topic before introducing it with your children. Children are very sensitive and they may likely to pick up on your emotional cues about death, hence, if you are not comfortable with the subject, they are likely to be, too.

2.) Try talking with your children about the Cycle of Life. Bear in mind to keep the conversation light and easy initially, offering your children adequate opportunities to ask questions. Consider talking about dying and death with them at a time that you could naturally mix and blend it into part of your conversation. Consider an instance when the leaves change colors in the fall, and then die off only to grow back during spring time.

3.) Be honest and open about feelings. It is very helpful that you let your children know and understand that death could be sad, and let them know that you're also sad if that happens.
Several parents have a natural instinct to guard and shield their children from the grief and sorrow related with dying, but this could actually be harmful. It is essential that kids learn how to express themselves honestly and openly and let them learn how to release their feelings and emotions if necessary.

Instead of focusing on the emotional or spiritual aspects of dying and death, they might want to know more about the technicalities, such as how a person is buried and where you will go. Just remember when teaching children about dying and death, their initial reactions or responses might be very different or far from what you expect.

Consider that this is perfectly normal and natural. Address and answer every question as honestly as you can and your kids would come to have a healthy understanding of the dying process and death.

The author of this article, Amy Twain, is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently published a home study course on how to have an improved self esteem. Alternatively click here for Amazon's Kindle Edition.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Death and Dying and the Therapeutic Relationship

By Ashley Sybil Davis

Our society has developed the belief that death and illness should be avoided and feared. The denial that death is real and can happen has caused people to regard illness and death as something that is happening to them, rather than a natural process that can be embraced without anxiety and suffering. Our thoughts and perspective on death and illness are based in fear rather than viewed as a possible opening to an experience that can offer new learning, challenges, growth and positive insight into our existence and ourselves. The denial that death is real and can happen has caused people to regard illness and death as something that is happening to them, rather than a natural process that can be embraced without anxiety and suffering.

Upon awareness of a terminal illness, Kubler-Ross outlines different stages that a patient goes through in response to this new knowledge. Often these defense and/or coping mechanisms help a patient manage with the stresses of facing his or her own mortality. These phases include the first stage, denial and isolation; the second stage, anger; the third stage, bargaining; the fourth stage, depression; and the fifth stage, acceptance (1969). The stages are defined as being consecutive, in which hope is usually present in one form or another. In the final stage of acceptance, there is no more hope in finding a cure and the patient may not want any more visitors. A person will have finished their unfinished business and there is a sense that the patient has reached a feeling of peace (Kubler-Ross, 1969). Another indicator of the final stage is the role of hope. Once hope disappears, often the patient is close to death.

Stephen Levine, who has also worked extensively with dying people, went a step further with the stages outlined by Kubler-Ross, making a point that these stages are really more about changes in the mind. "These stages, instead of being swallowed whole as an absolute reality, can rather be used as a means of focusing, a way of encouraging recognition of the impermanence of all things so that one may go beyond seeing others as what they are becoming and instead experience them as they are. To touch in the living truth of their being, to share in the reality that goes beyond death" (Levine, 1982, p. 234). Many individuals have outlined the different stages that humans' experience when faced with their ultimate fate of death. In facing death, Levine (1982) defines the mind as a rollercoaster, changing thoughts in one given day. During the evaluation process, stages are revisited more than one time.

Levine adds a spiritual dynamic to his view of the stages of dying that Kubler-Ross outlined. He refers to her stages as psychologically based, connected to thoughts, feelings and emotions. He adds: "The difference between the psychological and the spiritual is that the spiritual relates not only to the contents but to the space in which these contents are unfolding. The five stages deal with death as though it were outside of ourselves. Perhaps real acceptance is the first time we take death within. Where death is not the enemy but instead becomes the great teacher that directs us toward our fear and encourages us to relate to it instead of from it. Death's teaching is to relate to your life as a whole rather than some fractured reality from which you wish to escape." (Levine, 1982, p. 242) Spirituality is often interwoven in the dying process regardless of previous spiritual development.

As I have seen in my office, a person can feel stable in a particular belief system and with a diagnosis or when an opportunity to examine death arises, many beliefs are immediately re-evaluated. I have had the opportunity to work as a Chaplain in a Community Hospital, and I have worked extensively with people who have been recently diagnosed with a life threatening illness and/or know someone close to them who are going through the process. I believe that everyone has a different response to his or her particular life circumstances. The therapeutic process can be very helpful, supportive and beneficial to feel and move through emotions as they arise. Therapy can also be a place to process what may remain unfinished.

As a therapist, it is my job to hold space for another's process rather than to fix, heal and/or deny ones experience. Through all feelings of grief, anger, shock, denial and acceptance, I hold the space for choice in the midst of challenging circumstances. Sitting with another human being in this process is humbling, powerful and reminds me how the role of choice occurs up until our last breath.

Sources:

Levine, S. (1997). A year to live: how to live this year as if it were your last. New York: Bell Tower.
Levine, S. (1982). Who dies: an investigation of conscious living and conscious dying. New York: Anchor Books.
Kubler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying: what the dying have to teach doctors, nurses, clergy and their own families. London: The Macmillan Company.
Kubler-Ross, E. (1974). Questions & answers on death and dying. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Ashley is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Colorado and has a private practice in Boulder & Denver working with adolescents, adults and families. She is a Certified Gestalt Psychotherapist and is trained in EMDR and trauma resolution. Ashley also has extensive training and experience doing spiritual counseling with clients. She combines her training in psychotherapy and spirituality to bring a unique style to her psychotherapy and intutitive sessions. For more information, please go to Boulder Integrative Therapies at http://www.boulderintegrativetherapies.com or call us at 303-919-4149.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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The Dying Process: How to Properly Say Good-Bye

By Nelson Berry

One of the hardest things in life that you have to deal with is death in the family. Perhaps you already know that there's no easy way to say good-bye. However, you also don't want to miss the moment to do so.

There are no golden rules, but you can take heed of the following steps:

1. Remind them of the good things they've done. Even at their last moments, you definitely want them to feel that their lives are not in vain. They have contributed something not just to you but to the rest of the world. Talk about the good things and the pleasant memories. You can create a scrapbook or an album you can show to the dying. He or she can then turn the pages if he or she wishes to reminisce.

2. Don't treat the person too differently. Families and friends tend to treat the dying with a lot of pity and sadness. Unknown to you, the dying actually has a very excellent observation skill. They can easily detect if it's too hard for you to let go. In turn, it will be hard for them to say good-bye. Don't see them as totally different person. As hard as it may be, act as you usually do when he or she is still completely well.

3. Allow them to say good-bye. It's not only you who has to say good-bye. A lot of dying patients want to take the opportunity to do that too. After all, they are the ones who are going to do the leaving. It's essential you give them the liberty to bid farewell. Don't say, "You are still not dying" or "You still have a lot of days to live." You are only making things harder for them.

4. Listen very carefully. There are a lot of things the dying would like to talk to you. Perhaps there are still some activities they wish to accomplish, people they wish to see, or they just want to reflect on the possible death they are going to experience. Just be there to listen. There's really no need to give some advice unless he or she asks you.

5. Be there when the time comes. The dying may tell you they want to go alone, but the truth is it makes them really scared. So be there for them at the moment of death. It's going to be quite difficult, but it's one of the best things you can do for the beloved. Your inner strength may also be needed by friends and family who have weaker hearts than yours.

6. Keep yourself strong. Strength is one of the things you definitely need when you're about to face grief. When you know that it starts to dissipate, just use subliminal messages. There are many subliminal messages you can recite before seeing the dying or when you're meditating. These subliminal messages may be the following:

I am blessed by the friendship and love of (name of the dying).
I accept the process of death and grief.
I embrace the pain.

Nelson Berry is The Pioneer of Subliminal Messages Audio & Video Online and Subliminal Messages Expert for More Than Two Decades! You Love The Way That YOUR Life *Flows* and LOVE the Feelings, Fun, Fortune and Happiness it gives YOU! YOUR Dreams Really Do Come True!! Click Here for a FREE Subliminal Messages Video Download ($39.95 Value) Right Now -- Today! Try It: http://www.subliminalmessagesdownloads.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nelson_Berry

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Is Death Preordained?

By William Allan
Anonymous, I have read that God decides in advance the time and place of our death. Is this possible and if it is, can it be changed? Are we destined to die at some specific time and place and is there any way to know when and where in advance and maybe arrange not to be there at the appointed time and place, and skip the appointment?

First and foremost, there is much that needs to be cleared up regarding the subject of death. Death is something that mankind has feared and been fascinated with since the beginning of time, but in order to have any intelligent discussion, we must first agree on a commonly held definition of the word "death".

Dictionary definition; Death is the act of dying; the end of life; the total and permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism.

In this article and for purposes of discussion, the Soul is the Entity, one and the same, it's just that for personal reasons I prefer the term Entity over Soul, due to detrimental religious baggage attached to the term Soul.

In greater terms, there is truly no such thing as death as you understand it. The above definition is correct to a certain extent, but not entirely true in other terms. At what you would call the point of clinical death, a perceived cessation of all vital functions is misleading at best. Your physical body does terminate some physical functions upon death, but that does not mean the your body is devoid of all conscious actions.

It is true that the vital functions of the physical body do shut down upon death, but the human personality is much more than the physical body. In fact the physical body represents only a small percentage of the human personality while it is materialized in human form.

You are not your physical body, and never were. Your consciousness uses the physical form as a vehicle to gain experience while it is centered in the physical world. Your consciousness exists independent of physical form. It existed before you had a physical body and it will continue to exist after the physical body is long gone.

Your present habit of trying to pinpoint the exact time of death is erroneous at best, since there simply is no one exact point of death. Dying is a process, a withdrawal of the directive consciousness from the corporal structure, but this process is usually not an abrupt exit, but a gentle departure that can take varying lengths of time, depending on the motivations of the dying personality.

There are many extenuating circumstances considered as the personality makes the decision to leave the physical plane behind, many of these circumstances having to do with the desires of the dying personality with regards to his intensity of affection for the physical system and for those who he leaves behind.

If someone operates well in the physical system, he is usually more reluctant to part ways, but on the other hand, if the personality has not adapted well to physical life, he may be anxious to get out of his body and leave the earth system behind.

Your physical body is much more and far more complex organism than your scientists realize. Your physical body, in terms of inhabiting consciousness, is composed of your inner conscious personality attributes, the overriding directive consciousness of the organism.

But there is much more to consider. In an over-simplified way, your physical body is a two part construction, consisting of the inner directive, identity consciousness that you refer to as the ego, the (I) that you know so well and the bodily consciousness, about which you know very little. The body consciousness operates under the directive of the inner self and functions quite automatically.

You, in total, are made up of literally millions of small conscious particles, beginning with the smallest known to science such as electrons, atoms and molecules. The physical body is the result of almost unimaginable co-operation of these innumerable, smallest conscious, physical particles, working together to construct a viable physical construction that will serve as a home for the directive, self aware consciousness of the physically materialized directive, ego personality while it is focused in the physical system.

Unbeknownst to most of science today, every bit of physical matter possesses some degree of consciousness. This body consciousness is a gestalt consciousness composed of the minute consciousness of every particle that joins in the physical construction.

To understand this and much more about the miraculous assemblage of atoms, molecules and organs that participate in the construction of the physical body, you must at least begin to understand the co-operation required of all elements that participate in this construction.

I know this will be hard to understand for those who are new to these articles, but understanding the creation of the physical body, you will also have a leg up on understanding the construction of your environment, your world and your universe. They are all created in precisely the same way.

Consciousness is a participating endeavor in which all physical particles join into gestalt formations of every physical object and event, but for now lets stick with objects. These smaller particles, such as electrons, protons, atoms and such all have an inner knowledge of their being, and at the risk of being committed, I must also tell you that the same particles that compose a rock, in their limited way, also posses a more generalized consciousness. To you, they would not be considered alive since they don't move about, but neither does a flower or a blade of grass, but still, they do perceive.

It can be no other way, since consciousness creates physical matter, and if a rock did not have some degree of conscious awareness, it could not be a rock. I would like you however, to keep in mind that "everything is consciousness". There is nothing that you can see or perceive, in your waking state or in your dreams that is completely devoid of consciousness.

When you die, your inner directive consciousness has begun a process of separating itself from the physical body. To attempt to identify the exact time of death happening is a mistake, since in some cases, such as in the "coma state", that separation has happened long before the last breath is taken.

When the enduring inner personality withdraws from the body, the body consciousness, which is composed of the individual consciousnesses of all of the smaller particles, may live on for varying lengths of time. It is not uncommon upon exhuming graves of those long dead, even after hundreds of years, to find that the hair and finger and toenails are continuing to grow.

You live in a world of freedoms of actions and movement, limited mostly by your own beliefs. When you took on a life in the physical system, you were given complete independence from your Soul/Entity and while the physical body is alive and functioning, there is and can be no interference. Actually, from the perspective of the Soul or Entity, it is incapable of interfering once a new personality has been given life. So, you are on your own, for better or worse.

As far as the creation of new personalities, God has very little to do with that, since it is the Entity that creates new personalities, the Entity, so intellectually and spiritually advanced, that it has what you would consider God-like qualities. It is the Entity that creates new personalities and it is the Entity that is involved when the time of death approaches.

To the Entity, who sees beyond death, death is no big deal. The life of a personality could be compared to a day in the life of the entity. The death circumstances of any personality are known in advance by the Entity, but in terms that need further explanation.

You live in a probable system of reality, where all possibilities of action are probable. What that means in laymen's terms, is that all probable actions, including death, exist simultaneously alongside of all other probable actions. Some possible actions are more probable than others, and for that reason, some rather reliable predictions can be made in advance, by being able to perceive the field of probabilities.

All physical actions are materialized and rise up out of the field of probabilities, but until the final choice as to which action will be taken, which event will be chosen to materialize, changes can still be made. From this, you can see that there can be no such a reality as "pre-destination".

As an example, a very simple analogy is in order here. Lets presume that you are a racecar driver. In the field of probabilities, which I hope by now, you have gathered is a field of psychological future events; all of your possible future probable deaths exist from the day of your birth.

For you, it would not be too far off base to make an assumption that the possibility of a violent death would be more probable than a peaceful death in a nursing home. But, that taken into consideration, it would still be impossible to predict or know for sure, since new choices can be made at any time prior to selecting specifics.

At the very last minute, before a race, you could get sick, withdraw from the race, be taken to the hospital and die in bed of pneumonia, although this would not be the most likely probability.

The final death decision is made through inner communication between the Soul/Entity and the personality. Usually there is agreement, but in the end, the Entity will make the important decision to continue or to terminate the present life, knowing that nothing more of great value can be gained by prolonging the inevitable.

On another level, no one ever dies who is not ready to die. The Soul/Entity is aware of this information before you are born and you are not disconnected from your Soul.

From its lofty standpoint, the Soul/Entity knows what is best and has the interest of the personality in mind. The Entity, being aware of the continuity of life, already sees a probable new life rising out of the field of probabilities. Unfortunately, at this stage of your development, you are not privy to the same type of information.

As far as God and life's events are concerned, there is NO SUCH THING AS PREDEISTIATION!

My name is W. Allan, single male 65, a resident of Naples Florida. I graduated from Washington University in St. Louis and have in the past, written a column called SECRET REALITY, for spiritual and metaphysical magazines. I have recently published two e-books available on Amazon Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, Sony E-Reader and several other e-book formats. You can contact me any at my e-mail address: w.allan@hotmail.com.

Books can be previewed and purchased at;

Why Do Bad Things Keep Happening To Me?
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006XY2CT4

What is God?
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006TESXGY

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=William_Allan

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Beyond the Gates of Death

By Bonnie Moss
Does Death Come Without Warning?

Edgar Cayce expressed it best - in a trance, the psychic stated, ".. with error entered that is called death, which is only a transition or through God's other door into that realm where the entity has built, in its manifestations as related to the knowledge and activity respecting the law of the universal influence."

"Dying is a process which begins before the soul takes leave of the body and in fact begins before any illness, accident, or happening which may cause physical death." - Harvey A. Green
In sleep, the soul travels to realms outside the physical and material world. A time comes when in these travels, the spirit/soul departs in preparation of moving past this earthly life. It is a time when the soul travels between the two worlds-the earthly realm and the realm beyond. Death is an inevitable part of being born. In youth when life is full of dreams and health is excellent, who ponders death? Yet- in a moment, death can come knocking.

No one really knows what lies beyond death.

It is all speculation as to how and what the realm beyond death is like.There are no verifiable evidence of a dead person coming back to this life to share a glimpse, if that, of what life is after death. Contact with those who passed on are all based on personal experience, some are conducted at seance, where a medium claims the uncanny ability to make contact with those who are supposedly in the other realm.

There are volumes of books written about specific evidence that there is life beyond the gates of death. Religious or social beliefs, teachings, culture or tradition has not presented a concrete evidence of life after death. There are those who do not believe there is life beyond. Death is the end. These can only be subject to argument- they can neither be proved or disproved.

A Transition Zone

Death is a mystery. More mysterious is the question where do the dead go? Is there a life after death? What do us, living humans know about death? Is there such a place where life goes on after death in a totally different realm? Death is the end of a physical, material existence. There is a popular belief that at death, the dying person sees a playback of his /her life - success, failure, mistakes, relationships, a total sum of what their life was all about.

Rudolph Steiner writes: "our transition after death is like stepping into our own thoughts where we have existed all along. This is an inward step, so small, so natural; yet from a material perspective it is so abrupt, and so extreme. At the moment of change some of us are completely aware of what is happening, some of us only partly aware, and yet others totally unaware. Ultimately we meet and greet our own death with the same awareness and attention to detail we gave to our experiences in life."

The transition zone is a place where the soul/spirit goes immediately after dying. This is a spiritual dimension where the soul gets a chance to adjust to what is beyond the physical death. This is believed to help the soul who is crossing over, avoid confusion and minimize the shock of dying as the soul enters a different realm and dimension. For some, it can be a hellish experience, but a temporary one. There are those who do not realize they died and passed on to another realm. It is like a dreamstate, where a dreamer is transported to a world not consistent with their waking reality.

Spiritual Perspective of Death

Some of us are afraid of death. It is human nature to cling on to life. Medical breakthrough makes it possible to prolong life. There are many cases where such measures are futile, the physical body becomes a prison. Yet- no one knows when the Grim Reaper will come calling. Life does have its ups and downs. Torment can plague a person in its very core. When it is too much to bear, a person commits suicide. Accidents have claimed many lives. Death is a road to one destination for all of mankind. What awaits us in that realm?

Is there a reality beyond death? Edgar Cayce and Rudolph Steiner believe there is a realm beyond the gates of death.While on earth, our reality is outwards. We clutter our lives, we develop attitudes that can be harmful. We stay further away from an inner reality, a spiritual perspective. Upon death, as the soul leaves the physical body, it reflects on the physical realm inwardly. These are the memories, relationships, activities and the clutter stored within which seem prominent at the first stage of dying.

In death, one steps into one's thoughts, seemingly a small, natural step, yet from a material
standpoint, it is extreme and abrupt. In time, the soul/spirit's attention finds a different focus. For those who receive prayers from loved ones on earth, this is a time when it is needed the most.

The Borderland

Some writers refer to a realm, the borderland, found at the outer edge of the mental realms, where all the material aspect of life is manifest in its purest state. It is believed that the soul who gets here in this realm is definitely aware of a change, or awakening. Senses are sharper and more sensitive. The soul/spirit finds its true being. In this realm, one feels like one just emerged from a hazy daze. The surroundings are familiar- places, faces of people you've known who passed on before you, some unknown souls who may have shared some connection on earth.

The borderland is where a detailed review of one's earthly life occurs, with clarity that was obscured while on earth.

Rudolph Steiner notes that there are beings around who provide protection from getting immersed in this emotional state and confusion. There is no limitation imposed by time or space in this realm, but this review process is gradual. This provides the healing that is needed. This process allows the soul to move on. There are regions in the valley of death where the departed travel as they ascend to the Eternal Light.There are Beings of Light who have always been around in that realm by their choice to provide guidance.

Death is indeed a celebration of life. Beyond its door is a good place- where illness, violence, anger, hatred and other negative human traits are not known to exist. There are souls who need to work on negative traits while on earth.

There is a belief that some souls/spirits choose to stay in solitude for undetermined length.There are souls/spirits who choose to be earthbound. There are others who choose to re-incarnate and plan their next life on earth. Edgar Cayce predicted that he will be back on earth in 200 years.

Gifted individuals who have a second sight or insight into life beyond the grave share their beliefs on what lies beyond the gates of death. These thoughts help to diminish the fear of dying and it is refreshing to have a glimpse of what awaits in the realm of eternity.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for you are with me.

ref mat: research of Harvey A. Green
Edgar Cayce - Discourses
Rudolph Steiner
Emanuel Swedenborg
Harinder S Sandhu life afterdeath.info

Bonnie Moss writes to share her thoughts and experiences with her readers. She adds a spiritual dimension in most of her writings. She hopes to inspire others to look deep within and share their knowledge. She believes that we can all make a difference.

Visit her website: http://www.goldencupcafe.org

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bonnie_Moss

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Questions to Consider When Choosing Between Burial and Cremation

By Mitch A Albom
One particularly difficult decision that we will all have to make at some point is whether we want to be buried or cremated when we pass. Although nobody can make this decision for you, I will now outline a few questions that are worth asking yourself when you are trying to make the difficult choice.

What Does Your Religion Teach?

In some cases, the choice between cremation and burial will be decided upon by the religion that you prescribe to. Although the number of religions that forbid cremation is significantly less than in the past, there are still some religions that do indeed forbid it. The most notable example is probably Judaism.

How Much do you Want to Spend?

Much like most questions you have answered in your life, one factor to consider when it comes to choosing between burial and cremation is how much money you want to spend. In general cremation is significantly cheaper than burial but this only applies if you do not purchase the many add-ons that most funeral directors offer. When you choose to be cremated, you have the option of purchasing a casket to place your urn in during the funeral ceremony and you can also purchase a headstone at a memorial park. Should you purchase these items, cremation will not work out that much cheaper than burial.

Do You Want to Choose the Green Option?

Many people who have cared about the environment during their lives, want to do so also in death. Should you feel this way, cremation is the right way to go. The chemicals used in the embalming process of those about to be buried are highly toxic and when you choose burial, you will also be taking a spot on the earth forever. Many people also consider both the carbon footprint left by machinery being used to dig a grave and the fact that coffins are not biodegradable.

Where do you Want your Remains to Be?

Probably the most important question to answer when choosing between burial and cremation is exactly where you want your remains to be kept.

When you choose burial, you can choose a graveyard that is near to your loved ones. Doing so offers your loved ones a place to pay their respects and many people argue that a burial patch is very beneficial during the grieving process.

On the other hand, should you choose to be cremated, there are significantly more options. Most people opt to have their ashes spread in a place that they were happy or a place that has important sentimental value to them.

What You Don't Need to Ask Yourself

Finally, there is a pretty common misconception out there that if you choose cremation, you cannot have a traditional church funeral service. This is not even remotely true however. If you choose to be cremated, other than the fact that there will be an urn instead of a coffin, your loved ones can still attend an identical funeral service.

Get more information about Cremation services in CT and for that you just have to click here on the given links.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mitch_A_Albom
 
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Heaven Is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back

By Roberto Sedycias
Every adult seems to have a finely tuned set of "alarm bells" that sound when a child tells a story that just does not seem real, so why would anyone believe a four-year-old who claims to have made a trip to heaven and to have met family members who have passed on and much, much more.

The scene is this: Colton Burpo, son of Todd and Sonja Burpo of Nebraska, needs an emergency appendectomy. As he begins to come out of the anesthesia, Colton is like any other little boy, but he has a story to tell his Dad.

It's not an instant tale, either, as it takes a long time to work its way through the youngster's psyche to the point where he can verbalize it. That his Dad would understand what he was about to hear from Colton comes from the fact that he is a pastor of a church.

Colton first tells his Dad that he met he great-grandpa while under anesthesia and while he was there he met God. By this point, most peoples' alarm bells would be going off, but in this case there was just something in the way it came out slowly.

For example, he told his folks that he met his younger sister, a girl who looked much like his older sister Cassie. The weird issue here is that Colton could not have known about his second sister, as she was stillborn. This, of course, made his folks sit up and take notice and they also contacted a Christian literary agent to see if there was a story there.

It turns out that there was a story there as Colton told his Dad, finally, that he had met with Jesus.
Now, the four- or five-year-old Colton, by this time, was never told of any of the grievous wounds suffered by Jesus, especially in his hands, so Dad was not convinced that Colton had made the trip.

He pulled his notes together and wrote up the 163-page book Heaven is for Real and they found a small Christian press that was willing to take a chance on it, ordering a 40,000-copy first run. It turns out that the Heaven is for Real is for real as a work, itself, as the 40,000 copies soon turned into 1.5 million copies and trips to the New York Times best-seller list. It's also been at the top of the Barnes and Noble's sales list and Amazon sales lists. Even Wal-Mart has picked it up.

Interestingly, not knowing how the response would be to the first run, they kept the advertising budget low and, using only key spots on Fox, CNN and the "700 Club," Heaven is for real gained some real weight, the kind of weight from which best-sellers are made.

The publishing house wasn't prepared for the response it received but its paperback division managed to cope with the demand.

What has made this book so special? It is the hope that it gives folks that there is something special waiting when we're called back to the Lord and put down our worldly burdens. That, with all of the uncertainty of the last decade or more, starting around 9/11, is something that people have been seeking.

Colton, by the way, is now 11 and hopes that each family who gains something from his visit is truly blessed.

Roberto Sedycias works as an IT consultant for ecommUS

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roberto_Sedycias
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7125304

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Highly Sensitive People May Communicate with Ghosts

When I stopped using my own energy to offer healing to others, the empathic attacks lessened, but I was still able to see and hear in the spirit realm. Disembodied souls would awaken me during the night and hover overhead, staring at me until I woke up. I heard things no one else heard and I could feel the energy of ghosts around me. I even wrote a book about it, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. I’ve always been sensitive to the energy of “deceased” people.

Jerry, a friend of mine, was fatally stabbed in the parking lot of a Kroger store in 2007 while trying to stop a man who had stolen a purse from a 60-year-old woman. When I heard Jerry had died, I was immediately catapulted into an empathetic episode like I had not experienced since I was serving as an intercessory prayer warrior in the city of Muncie in the mid-1990s. The grief-like energy I was carrying for Jerry's friends and family was so severe that after two days, I finally called on an energy-worker friend, Cherise Thorne, to clear me so I could stop sobbing.

After that, I put up some really strong protective barriers to keep from taking on other people's energy, but Jerry didn’t seem to get the message. His spirit hung around me for more than a week following his death. I didn't want to do what he was urging me to do—contact his mom and sister (Dianne) and give them a message from him: “Tell them I am with Mason.” The message didn't mean anything to me. I wasn't sure if Mason was a person, a pet, a bricklayer, or a lodge member. I hesitated sharing this insight because I didn't know how open his sister and mom were to having a stranger give them a psychic message and I didn't want to add to their grief. What if I was wrong and the message had no relevance to them?

However, Jerry was insistent, and at the time, I didn't know how to make ghosts go away. So, I found his mother’s address and wrote a letter giving her the message with my phone number and return address. I didn't hear anything from the family until nearly two and a half years later when I got a letter from his sister, stating that she finally knew what the message meant. He had visited with a friend who was a cashier at the store the day Jerry was killed. Her name was Mason.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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What Happens to Our Loved Ones When They Die a Violent Death?

By Melissa Van Rossum

With all the news lately about violent attacks, including Ann Pressly, the news anchor from Little Rock, Arkansas who was beaten to death and the members of Jennifer Hudson's family who was killed, people are naturally wondering what happens to a loved one when they die a violent death.

I've met several ghosts who died from violent attacks. One of the most memorable people I met was Tim McClean, the man who was beheaded on a Greyhound bus in Canada.

I don't normally read graphic news pieces, but his story popped up on an internet page I was visiting and I ended up reading a couple of paragraphs of it. If you're familiar with this story you know why I stopped reading it after only a couple of paragraphs.

The remarkable thing was that I was in my basement office when I read the story. I shut down my computer, turned out the lights and began to climb the stairs. By the time I reached the top of the second flight, there was Tim, with his iPod earphones still in his ears, standing outside my bedroom doorway. I hadn't yet seen a photo of him, but I knew it was him since I had already connected with his energy from reading the story.

He was still stunned from all the events of his bodily death and seemed genuinely shy. He stood leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Although he wasn't in any pain, he did seem overwhelmed and ready to go home. I couldn't blame him.

He hadn't gone home earlier out of shock and disbelief of how his body had died. I think for a while, he didn't quite realize he was dead.

But now he did and he wanted to go home.

I gladly helped him on his way and he went home easily to the Other Side.

The important thing to remember when a loved one dies from a violent attack, is that once they leave their body, they're no longer in any pain.

Too often as the ones who stay behind, we stay stuck in the moment of their death or the time they suffered just before their death. They, however, move beyond this moment very quickly.

I met a gentleman several months ago who had committed suicide by shooting himself.

He was the brother of a friend and she was distraught over what he had done. Within minutes of my learning about what had happened, he quickly came to me. His funeral had not yet happened and he was asking me to send him home - which I refused to do.

He was not in any physical pain, but he knew the moment he killed himself that he had done the wrong thing. He was scared and ravaged with guilt and he was afraid of the anger and the judgment of those he had left behind.

He wanted to go home early to escape facing what he thought would be an angry mob. But he couldn't have been more wrong.

He stood in the corner almost shaking, he was so overwhelmed with fear.

"You have to go be with your family right now....I'm not going to help you until after your funeral. You need to go be with your family and do what you can to comfort them, let them know you're sorry, that you're still alive. You need to take responsibility for the pain you've caused them," I told him.

"They're mad at me," he said, "they're furious with me. I don't want to be around them. I'm just a disappointment to them."

"Well, you've done the worst you could have possibly done. They're going to be mad at you for a while. You need to go face the music," I said to him.

"You need to trust me on this, this is the only way you're going to get through this," I said unapologetically.

He finally left and timidly went to his family.

I checked in on him now and then over the week and he began to see how he had had other choices in life that he wasn't aware of at the time. And, just as importantly, he began to feel the love they had for him. They were mad at him, that's true. But they dearly loved him.

While he lived in his body he regularly felt that he was to blame for so much of others' suffering, now he could see that really wasn't the case.

He had begun to learn some very valuable insights even before he crossed over to go Home.

Which, by the way, he did cross over on his own just after his funeral. I don't think he would have been able to do that if he hadn't begun to see beyond the blame and the self-judgment.

Those who leave their bodies violently or tragically, move beyond those terrible last moments very quickly, and we need to as well. The suffering for them ended as soon as they left their bodies and their emotional healing began at the same time.

Melissa Van Rossum is an accomplished psychic & empath, & the author of two books. In her first book, All You've Ever Known, she shares a process that deepens your intuition & awakens your soul to a happier, more successful and authentic life.


In Their Way Home, My Adventures as a Ghost Guide Melissa offers revealing perspective as she shares for the first time the very personal stories of her encounters with real life ghosts who searched her out in their quest to find a way back home, and how she helped them to cross over in to the Light. Plenty of books have been written about ghost sightings but in this book Melissa shares the stories behind why these souls chose to linger on the earth plane and how you can live a happier life by learning from the mistakes they made in life...and in death.


Melissa regularly speaks to the media & groups on topics such as How to Create the Life of Your Dreams, Ghosts and The Paranormal, and What Happens After You Die. You can learn more about Melissa and her books at http://www.allyouveeverknown.com and http://www.theirwayhome.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melissa_Van_Rossum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Doing Death Differently

As part of Australia's First Social Changemaker's Festival, The Australian Social Innovation eXchange, The Groundswell Project and LifeRites are holding an event at Weave Arts Centre to open up conversation about death, dying and bereavement practices and innovations in Australia. You may be interested in both the event, and the blog written about it - Doing death differently

Visit www.socialcentral.com.au Join us on twitter: @social_central @lifebywords Or facebook

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Overcoming Thoughts of Suicide

By Linney Elder

"You are given the gift of the gods; you create your reality according to your beliefs; yours is the creative energy that makes your world; there are no limitations to the self except those you believe in." - JANE ROBERTS - SETH

Chronic sadness, or grief, if not understood and dealt with may lead to depression and eventually to thoughts of suicide. I've been there. I know what it feels like and how hard it is to pull yourself back from that awful dark place.

I've experienced feelings of hopelessness in varying degrees from despondence, to despair and if I look back I can see the downward spiral of events that took me into the pit of depression.

Darkness is defined as the "absence of light". Surely then the way to combat the darkness is to "turn on the light".

The light could take the form of an idea or goal, a person, a book, a piece of music, an inspiring movie, or holistic healing of some kind.

When I was experiencing chronic depression, I didn't understand what was happening at first. I was experiencing all sorts of physical symptoms as well as depressing, dark thoughts.

I couldn't sleep, I lost my appetite, and I jumped for the slightest reason and had panic attacks when my heart would race. I cried for the slightest reason, I lost my train of thought in the middle of sentences, my concentration levels in general dropped, I felt tired all the time and my eyes were red, sunken and black ringed.

My skin colour became pasty. My hair was lifeless with no shine. I dragged myself out of bed and through my days. Basically, I hated my life and the person I had become. I could see no way forward out of the dark space I was in and that just made everything so much worse. I felt dreadfully alone. I didn't think anyone cared, or understood how awful I was feeling.

The harder I tried to do everything right and keep everyone happy, the more exhausted I felt and the worse the downward spiral became.

I eventually went to my local library in desperation and found various books on stress and depression, and that was where I began to recognise the symptoms I was experiencing. I realised I needed help, but I was so glad to find that I was not losing my mind after all!

Then a good friend suggested I might try a session of hypnotherapy, to help me relax. Hypno what? I had never tried anything like that before and felt a bit silly having to explain to a stranger why I was sitting in his therapy room. But as we talked I began to release the pent up emotions of frustration and anger, hopelessness and despair. Gradually, the cleansing tears began to flow and the healing process began.

I went for three sessions of hypnotherapy and they really did save my life. It helped me to relax initially, then to go into a deeper relaxed space where I could let go of some of the stress and finally into a very deep state where I found absolute peace.

It helped me to see things more objectively and to realise that I had been putting all the pressure on myself. The choices were all down to me. I didn't need to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, secretary and all the rest...

I immediately requested a transfer at work to a less pressured position, shortened my work hours a bit, stopped being so fussy and servile at home and learned to take one day at a time. I discovered homeopathic Rescue Remedy drops for those moments when I could feel myself becoming tense and over-emotional. I learned the value of deep breathing when panic attacks threatened to overwhelm me.

I began taking the dogs for walks on the beach and getting out more. I started painting and doing creative hobbies, which I found relaxing. I began writing in my journals again, which was such a therapeutic way for me to safely express what I was feeling, knowing that only I would read it.

Then I discovered the benefits of meditation. I could feel I was on my way back to a more balanced, happier, relaxed outlook. It took a long while, a lot of patience and inner-work, but I eventually began to like my life again - bit by bit.

The following words describe the downward and subsequent upward spiral that I experienced while going through depression and then finding my way back to the light.

Downwards:

• Fear
• Frustration
• Anger
• Overwhelmed / controlled
• Blame
• Hate
• Trapped
• Despondency
• Hopelessness
• Loneliness
• Despair
• Suicide

Upwards:

• Acceptance
• Surrender
• Face the fears
• Take responsibility
• Seek help moving forward - mental, emotional and physical
• Understand
• Express - creatively
• Release beliefs / people
• Forgiveness
• Learn to love / respect yourself
• Set new personal boundaries
• Surround yourself with positive people / community
• Plan
• List of achievable goals
• Take action - co-create your life one small step at a time
• Fun and Joy!

If you are experiencing thoughts of such hopelessness that you would rather cease living, you need to talk to someone right away! Don't wait. Find someone, anyone, to talk to. It often happens that a problem shared and worked through with someone else's loving, non-judgmental input can help you to find clarity and a way forward.

Overcoming thoughts of suicide is possible! Suicide is not the answer.

I wish you blessings of light.

Linney

Linney Elder is the author of "Infinitely Possible - A Cancer Odyssey", a freelance researcher and writer, Reiki Master Teacher, intuitive healer and perennial student of life. Join her on this magical journey of self-discovery - read more insights and related subjects on her website: http://www.infinitely-possible.com/ This article was originally published on my website. © Copyright 2011 - Linney Elder. All Rights reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Linney_Elder

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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