More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife covers many aspects of the dying and grieving process and sheds light on euthanasia, suicide, near-death experience, and spirit visits after the passing of a loved one. ___________________________________________
Showing posts with label hospice care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospice care. Show all posts

Monday, April 22, 2013

What You Need to Know About Hospice Care

By A Aaronson Death and dying is a difficult topic to think about and talk about but one that cannot be avoided indefinitely. It is something that every person must be willing to discuss at some point in their life. You may have a family member who is not doing so well. His physician may be bringing up the subject of hospice but you may be reluctant to consider it. Perhaps you are not as clear about what this care is all about. Lifting the veil can help bring you peace of mind and can make it easier to make the right decision for the person you love.

Hospice is often thought to be a place, such as a hospital or a health center. But it is actually a service and not a place. This form of palliative care can be brought into the home of the ill person. It can be provided at a nursing home, assisted living facility or in a hospital setting.

Most people wish to stay in their own homes as long as they possibly can. Hospice care in this case can come right to the residence. But if the individual's condition worsens and/or their care becomes too difficult to manage and they must move elsewhere, short-term inpatient care can come to the new location.

Hospice provides your loved one with a variety of professional services. Routine nursing visits are available for your family member, as are after hours visits, if need be. What this means is that the nurse will visit as regularly as the person requires. She will make an assessment as to whether changes need to take place. She will also make arrangements for medication to be delivered to the person. If medical equipment and supplies are needed, she will arrange for that as well.

Emergency medications and oxygen will be sent to the home or nursing facility in order to be on hand in the event of a crisis. When you choose this type of care for your loved one, you can rest assured that the nurse(s) who will be working with your loved one, have every area covered.

As a concerned and loving member of the family, your role will be acknowledged by the nursing staff assigned to your ailing relative. You are sure to have questions about what is taking place. These services are designed to keep your loved one as comfortable as possible. The nurses will field any questions that you have. They will provide you with as much information as you need to better comprehend the situation and to understand the condition of the aging individual. They will also do their part to help you and your family to prepare for what is to come.

Help is never far away when you choose hospice care. Help will come to the residence of the individual. You do not have to take the person to the physician's office. If a problem arises on a weekend or on a holiday, help can be obtained by making a telephone call.

If you have a loved one in need of hospice grand rapids has excellent resources available. To learn more about these services come to http://www.wingsofhopehospice.com.
 
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A_Aaronson
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7449686

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Monday, April 8, 2013

Who Should Consider Hospice Care?

By Aloysius Aucoin

Hospice can be an excellent choice in many situations. There are many times when this decision is hard for the family to make. Yet, when an individual is dealing with numerous medical conditions and is not able to maintain his or her health long term, it may be time to consider this type of scenario. It could provide you with the type of end of life experience you desire for yourself, too. As you consider the options available to you, consider who might find this type of location the ideal choice. It is a hard decision, but sometimes it is very much the best decision.

Does Your Loved One Need Help?

Often, there are situations in which a loved one may want to ensure that a family member's overall comfort is thought about. It can be hard to know if hospice is the right choice. There are some situations that can give you a clue that this may be a good idea, though. For example, have you noticed your loved one losing a lot of weight? This could be due to not eating. Some may find that they are very weak and cannot breathe well. Others have developed sores on their body that are painful and that will not heal well. These are all indications that your loved one needs supportive care.

Do You Need Help?

In some situations, you may want to consider your loved one's ability to care for you. You may be having trouble making it through the day. If you need help walking, eating, bathing and getting dressed, these professionals can help you with that so your family does not have to. They can help you with pain, too. If you are struggling and you need additional help, it may be a good idea to consider this type of care.

Providing Comfort

In some cases, patients are not willing or able to seek out any cure-oriented care for their condition. In these situations, the goal is to make a loved one comfortable instead. That's something that hospice can offer. They can help you to feel more comfortable during this time. Most often, these patients will not make it another six months, but during that time do not want or need to suffer from pain. This setting can provide the patient with the help he or she needs to get through this part of their life.

Making the decision to use hospice services is not easy. However, it is something you can do for your loved one or do for yourself. Make this decision carefully but don't put it off. This is the type of care you or your loved one may need right now.

Finding the right hospice kalamazoo for your family member is a wise and difficult decision to make. The professional and diligent staff at http://www.wingsofhopehospice.com will gladly run through the amenities provided.
 
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Aloysius_Aucoin
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7463252
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Thursday, March 14, 2013

Hospice Care and Palliative Care: Similarities and Differences

By Katrina Millar

For most people there is no difference between palliative care and hospice care, especially to those who are not in the healthcare field. They may seem similar in terms of their philosophy, but these two are quite different in many ways. This article will bring clarity to such confusion. If you know of anyone, may it be your family or friend who is confused between the two, this article will help you get a better idea of what the two types of care are all about. This is also helpful to nurses who are either working for or wanting to work in these types of fields.

What is Hospice Care?

It is described as support and care for patients who are terminally ill. It is the facility's goal to give them the best comfort and satisfaction with their remaining life. Rather than focusing on the finding a cure for their illnesses or trying to extend their lives, the facility does its best in making them happy during their living days. They want the patients to experience a good quality of life.

Their philosophy is that which accepts the reality of death. That death is part of life and one must accept it.

What is Palliative Care?

Palliative care is used inside and outside hospice locations. In general terms, palliation is described as that which focused on relieving and preventing suffering in patients who have diseases or conditions that are not responsive to curative treatment. Palliative care's goal is to give patients relief from their illnesses.

While they both have similarities, they are still essentially unique on their own. Palliative care is usually being offered and used in hospitals, whereas hospice care is usually used in a patient's home. Palliative care areas offer therapies that aim to give patients a longer life, as this kind of care does not stop them from finding a cure for their illness of condition. On the other hand, hospice care facilities only treat patients who are willing to give up any treatments that can cure them of their conditions. If they are still in search of curative treatments, they may not get coverage for their care. When it comes to costs and reimbursement, hospice care is fully paid by Medicare benefit or Medicaid. It is also important to note that those who want hospice care through Medicaid or Medicare must be found to be within the last six months of their life.

Working in hospice care and palliative care are both rewarding for registered nurses. Which RN specialization would you prefer?

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Katrina_Millar
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7192906

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Monday, February 25, 2013

In Home Hospice Care: How It Helps

By Sarah E Reilly

Hospice services may offer help in the form of medical care, assistance and safety, and often spiritual and emotional support for both the patient and the caregiver. This may also include the participation of other members of the family. Hospice care is offered by a lot of organizations, including hospitals and private practices. It provides the necessary help to manage the details and challenges of caring for a sick friend or member of the family.  Some of the most common hospice services may include:  - Medical care focusing on managing pain - Bringing medicines and equipment when needed - Counselling and Guidance on difficult issues like closure - Voluntary assistance for making meals or running errands - Counselling and support prior to death; and after death (for the family)  One reason to choose in home hospice care is that many patients would like to spend their final days at home. With this service, family members can stay close and take care of their loved one. A hospice team member will come by several times a week and see what is needed. These teams usually consist of a physician, nurses, a social worker, specialists in palliative medicine, a priest or spiritual advisor, nurse assistants and volunteers. The extended group would also include the pharmacist, psychiatric specialists and other therapists. They are available on call 24/7.  Hospice Services are available to almost anyone in need. To become eligible, however, a patient may fall under a certain medical condition category, such as an incurable or terminal illness, and diagnosed by a medical professional to have six months or less to live. A signed form from the primary physician and doctor on the hospice team is needed to start care. Of course, it is difficult to estimate life span - some people live longer than expected and continue receiving care. If people get better, they can stop getting this assistance. Hospice care is available to everyone regardless of religion, gender, diagnosis, sexual orientation, or even the ability to pay. These services are covered by Medicare and Medicaid programs. Quite a few private insurance companies also pay for these services - make sure to check if it will be covered and what services are included. Hospice programs will also be able to provide information on coverage.  The aim of in home hospice care is to bring palliative care to terminally ill people. It is a way to help those approaching death have confidence, dignity, and peace. Hospice care brings humane charity and compassion to those in need. Proper care usually helps people live longer and experience fewer side effects from chemotherapy and other medications. Other helpful activities like physiotherapy, art, music, and massage therapy, are offered to patients to keep them engaged. The attending physician or nurse will be able to help with finding in home care or a facility close by. You may also search online to find a reputable provider of hospice care.  Sarah Reilly provides in Home Hospice care and Hospice Services. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sarah_E_Reilly Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7234832
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Hospice Services: Providing Peace of Mind

By Archie Taylor

Death is an inevitable part of life. Even if everyone knows it will happen eventually, no amount of preparation can ease grief when it's time to say goodbye. How will you let your ailing relatives spend their last days? Most people turn to hospice care services. If you are considering admitting a loved one to a good hospice facility, here are some useful information you need to know.

All about Hospice Care

Hospice care is a service handling "end-of-life" cases. Families who want to admit their loved one to a stay-in hospice must have the certification of the doctor that the patient has a few months left to live. There is no set rule, but the standard timeline most facilities acknowledge is six months.
Hospice services may be administered at home, in a nursing home, or other facilities- depending on the preference of the patients or their families. A team consisting of physicians, social workers, nurses, and assistants is responsible for giving the best care to the patient.

Families can now get their much needed break when their loved one is admitted in a hospice facility. Plus, they can have peace of mind because they know skilled professionals will take care of their loved ones. Certified nurses and attendants will take over simple and complex responsibilities of daily care, such as bathing, administering medication, and assisting in pain management. Hospice services are available 24 hours a day and provide immediate response in the event of a patient emergency. The staff in a hospice may set up the medical equipment in the patient's room for those getting in-home services.

One advantage of admitting a relative in a hospice is it makes sure patients live comfortably and with dignity during their final days. Hospices guarantee quality comfort and medical care not only to the patients but to their families as well. They even have programs that have special supportive services for the patients by addressing their physical, spiritual, emotional, and social needs.

Who can get hospice services?

You can find many stay-in hospices for patients whose pain management needs can't be addressed at home. There are also facilities offering this service to those who are adjusting from the hospital to the hospice at home.

Hospice Facilities and Amenities

To provide comfort and guarantee the well-being of the patient, most hospices feature private rooms and amenities such as outdoor terraces and kitchens. These give patients privacy and a relaxed environment. You can find hospices at convenient central locations. This is so their families may easily visit them anytime.

Part of hospice care includes a counseling team that will support family and friends during emotional and spiritual crisis. The team provides individual counseling and assists caregivers and patients on stress management. They help patients and families deal with their grief and prepare them for the passing of their loved one. Here are some other hospice services the counseling team provides:

- Have meaningful discussions that resolve issues between patients and their families
- Serve as an outlet for family member to express grief and share bereavement issues
- Educate friends and family members about end-of-life issues
- Provide special counseling for the patients' children
- Check up on the family one year after the patient's death and provide counseling if needed

Archie Taylor works for a hospice care facility and familiar with different hospice services.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Archie_Taylor
 
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Why You Should Choose Hospice Care

By May G Graham

Having a terminal illness is one of the most difficult things you will experience. Learning you only have a few months to live brings fear and frustration, but it is also the perfect opportunity to prepare for what is coming. Discuss whether you want to participate in a hospice care program and find a provider who will provide the physical and emotional support you and your family need during this difficult time.

Understanding Hospice

Hospice is not a place - it is a philosophy. It is the type of care you choose when you are terminally ill. It focuses on managing your pain and other symptoms instead of attempting to cure your condition. Hospice services will also give you and your family the emotional, social, and spiritual support you need, guiding you through the process of dying and offering bereavement support once you have passed.

Choosing this type of care does not mean you are giving up on your life. Stopping aggressive treatment is every patient's choice, and you may want to enter a hospice program if you feel aggressive treatment no longer helps and is only robbing you of spending quality time with your family. Most caregivers provide care at home, but if you have symptoms that require special equipment, think about moving into a hospice inn or a sanatorium.

When should you discuss hospice care?

Some people choose this type of care during the last few days of their lives. Think about entering this kind of program earlier, as soon as when the doctor tells you how much time you have left. This lets you prepare a care plan you and your family will feel comfortable with. It also lets you benefit from receiving support and education from hospice program experts.

Having consistently declining health, increased pain and other symptoms, repeated hospitalization, and decreasing alertness and mobility are some signs you need to enter a hospice program. This allows you to spend more time with your loved ones while receiving pain management.

Who pays for hospice programs?

Your doctor needs to assess your condition before you can enter this program. Medical experts need to establish you have a terminal illness, you only have at most six months to live, and your health is consistently declining to qualify you for Medicaid coverage. Your private insurance also covers this service.

Check with your provider and find out what items they will pay for. Medicare will cover medical equipment, care and support both for you and your loved ones, and medication.

Some providers of hospice services may charge based on your ability to pay. They will use these contributions to offset the expenses of other patients that pay little or nothing at all. You can also choose to pay privately even with Medicaid and private insurance coverage.

Do not wait until your final days until you enter a hospice program. Choosing this type of care puts you in control of how you spend your final days and whom you spend it with. Find a hospice service provider and create a care plan that benefits you and your family.

May Graham is a hospice care provider who discusses hospice services with families of terminally ill patients.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=May_G_Graham
 
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Monday, May 21, 2012

Hospice Services: Providing Comfort During Trying Times

By Gwendlyn Price

What are hospice services?

Hospice is the concept of catering to the needs of those whose life expectancy has been predicted to be 6 months or less. It is a concept that dates back to the time of the Crusades in the 14th century. Religious orders during that time, however, prevented its growth. Modern hospices came to be during the 1960s, starting in Great Britain. From there, the practice grew and spread to the United States, and parts of Europe and Asia.

Once all efforts to cure the patient of his/her disease have been exhausted, hospice care is recommended. The practice is palliative in nature. Palliative is the field of healthcare that focuses not on curing, but in preventing and reducing the suffering of a patient. This type of care allows the patient to live his or her last days with dignity.

Why and when should we consider hospice?

The idea of being diagnosed with an incurable disease is a tough pill to swallow. For the patient, it's an overwhelming experience that is difficult to deal with. There is so much uncertainty that comes with knowing you only have a limited amount of time left. While some are intent on treatment in the hopes of curing their disease, most cases don't end so well. In some cases, continued curative treatment only makes the body weaker.

Hospice services should be considered once a doctor diagnoses inevitability. This means that the doctor has predicted a certain timeframe left for the patient. Hearing news like this will, without a doubt, stir up emotions of fear and sometimes even anger. Once you start entertaining the idea of hospice care, remember that it is not proof of hopelessness. Believe that by making the decision, patients aren't giving up. Rather, they are taking control by deciding what to do with the remainder of their lives.

Where is hospice care provided?

In most cases, patients choose in home hospice care. Most services provide this option with the understanding that patients would rather be in the privacy of their own homes. If in home hospice care proves to be too strenuous, options such as inns and other facilities may be available as well.

What can I expect from this service?

First of all, you can expect counseling and guidance through you and your loved ones' trying times. Professionals will help the patient and his/her family members understand and cope with the issues at hand. No one knows the pain endured by someone who knows his or her end is coming. Patients often find themselves dealing with so many previously unrealized frustrations, and that's something that the treatment method caters to.

Apart from helping relieve all mental and emotional anguish, the practice also highlights the spiritual needs of a person. Patients can expect that through this palliative treatment method, whatever spiritual concerns they have will be attended to. Dealing with grief and bereavement also come later.

While hospice services might sound like a good option from the get go, remember to discuss the topic with care. Make sure that the patient is emotionally prepared to avoid misunderstandings during an already difficult time.

Gwen Price is a nurse who has worked with several in home hospice care. For additional information on how this can help your terminally-ill loved one, please read up about hospice services.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gwendlyn_Price

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Dying Helping the Dying

Here is an interview with a woman who was dying in hospice care but kept right on volunteering to help those who were actively dying. It is part of a series of interviews for a doc called" Lessons for the Living." She has passed away since the interview, but you will enjoy her perspective on dying as being just another item on the menu of life..

Kathleen on Dying and Dinner Parties - Excerpt http://www.vimeo.com/23135498


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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Monday, July 19, 2010

Meet Atlanta Hospice Director Barbara Moore

On Monday, July 12, I spoke at the staff meeting for Atlanta Hospice. What a wonderful group of people! Here is a photo of me with my gracious hostess, Barbara Moore, Director of Volunteer and Support Services for Visiting Nurses. Barbara welcomes anyone interested in volunteering their time or talent to make a difference in patients’ lives at the center or via in-home visits. Contact Barbara Moore at 404-869-3000 or Volunteer Coordinator Ann Serrie, 404-848-7955.

During my talk, I  talked related some of the end-of-life commonalities and differences that may be seen by those who work as a member of a hospice team or care for a patient living with a terminal illness. In the upcoming days,  I will post excerpts from my speech on this blog.

Everyone's life is different because our experience is defined by our choices and beliefs. We may share similar life stories, human characteristics, and basic needs to sustain life, but we are unique individuals.

The same is true about our dying experience. Those who die a natural death may share common occurrences as the end nears, but that experience may be slightly different depending upon an individual’s belief systems.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife.

Purchase on Amazon.com

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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Atlanta Hospice

Many people in nursing homes and hospice care are without the loving presence and spiritual support of friends or family. There is a great need for compassionate volunteers, but not everyone is up to the task of assisting people in their transition. It takes a special person to walk in, meet someone for the first time, talk intimately with them, and hold their hand, all the while knowing that person may not be around the next time they come to visit. Yet, this blessed gift of friendship is crucial in helping a soul leave peacefully.

I truly appreciate and applaud the people who give loving service to people like my aunt Kathryn who passed last November after a year in hospice and my grandmother who will turn 94 this coming Saturday.


On Monday, July 12 at 6 p.m., I will be the guest speaker for a training meeting of the Visiting Nurses staff of Atlanta Hospice. I will be talking about some of the end-of-life commonalities and differences typically seen in by hospice workers. This will include an open forum about spirit visitation.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife.

Purchase on Amazon.com

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Monday, February 22, 2010

Spirituality and Music In Palliative Care

Unlike hospice care which entails providing services to the terminally ill patients whose physicians have declared that they have only six months to live, palliative care does not postpone nor speed up death, it helps relieve pain and symptoms by offering support which the client needs to live actively and functionally.

Part 1 - Spirituality and Music in Palliative care.

Palliative care may also involve other professional disciplines to ensure that the patient receives all the necessary services. In this article, I will review and explore the perceptions of nurses and patients on spirituality and music in palliative care.

Spirituality and Palliative Care.

Spirituality in general has been shown to contribute to patients' comfort at the end of life and has been identified as one of the key concerns of dying patients who need support. Spirituality does not necessarily mean that one's beliefs are religious based, it is therefore unique in everyone and may be explored and assessed in one's own values, beliefs, relationships, attitudes, practices, their hopes, fears, meaning and purpose in life as reported by Kernoham, Waldron, McAfee, Cochrane, & Hasson (2007).

Read more here.. http://tinyurl.com/yeenfrg

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Monday, February 15, 2010

Hospice & Palliative Care - Where's the Common Ground?

Receiving "The News"


A person faced with a new diagnosis that is life-limiting is generally overwhelmed. Everything has changed, and nothing will ever be the same. All of the grief stages can come into play: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately, acceptance. The person might wonder, Why me? Why now? Can I beat this? The situation can become overwhelming when coupled with confusing medical jargon about palliative care and hospice care. Let's start by clarifying the care options that are available.

Palliative care for life-limiting disease naturally follows curative treatments. Treatments can include chemotherapy, radiation, blood transfusions, dialysis, physical therapy and more. The goal is to achieve the highest quality of life for the patient while trying to control or eradiate the disease process. This is a time for hope and challenge for the patient and family. It is generally only when all treatment options fail or have been exhausted that the physician may suggest comfort care, which is also known as hospice care.

Similarities & Differences

Hospice care and palliative care both provide compassionate care for patients facing life-threatening illnesses. Both share a team-oriented approach to medical care: pain management, symptom management, and emotional and spiritual support that are patient-specific. Both share a common core belief as well: that every patient deserves the very best care possible, and that each of us has the right to die with dignity and respect, pain-free. In fact, the word palliate refers to giving comfort (but not cure). The differences between the two disciplines are subtle. While all hospice care is palliative or comfort care, not all palliative care is considered hospice care.

Confused?

Let's look at it another way. The focus of hospice is on caring, when curing is no longer an option. To be eligible for hospice care, two physicians (the primary physician and the hospice physician) must certify the patient's prognosis to be six months or less, should the disease run its natural course. The hospice philosophy embraces death as a natural part of life, and encourages a patient's desire for dignity, respect, and autonomy over his or her own care. Aggressive symptom management and pain control support this philosophy.

Most hospice care is provided in the patient's own home. Some care is also provided in nursing homes, residential care facilities and hospice facilities. Services are provided regardless of religion, race, age or illness. The patient care goals are centered on quality of life as opposed to quantity of life. Hospice care is covered under the Medicare Hospice Benefit, Medicaid, most private insurance plans, HMOs, and other managed care plans. All charges related to the terminal diagnosis, such as medications, durable medical equipment (e.g., a hospital bed), and nursing and supportive services, are paid by the benefit. Hospice care, therefore, is both a philosophy and a method of health care financing for terminally ill patients and families.

Palliative care is very similar to hospice care, but with a broader population. It is not time-restricted-indeed, it can last for years-and no specific therapy is excluded if it can improve the patient's quality of life. Palliative care helps meet the needs of patients and families who are not yet eligible for hospice services as well as those who still want to pursue more aggressive treatments not covered under the hospice reimbursement system. Payment for palliative services is generally paid by the patient's insurance, Medicare or Medicaid (but not under the hospice benefit). Goals of care focus on improving quality of life and helping support patients and families during and after these treatments. Whereas palliative care is appropriate from terminal diagnosis on, when prognosis is uncertain, hospice care focuses on supporting patients with a life expectancy of months, not years. From that standpoint, palliative care should naturally follow curative care, and then evolve into hospice care as the disease process progresses.

Looking to the Future

The hospice benefit is written for comfort care only, and is intended for patients with terminal illnesses who have exhausted all curative and therapeutic treatments. In that sense, it can be abrupt and frightening, and generally results in very late hospice referrals from physicians. The challenge for hospices is to find a way to transition from one discipline to another.

Patients should have a safe place to explore care options while still receiving palliative treatments-without pressure to enroll in the hospice program later on. This is an important step in patient continuity of care, and one that warrants further attention.

Currently, hospice and palliative care are separate disciplines. Helping patients and families deal with terminal diagnoses and navigating the various palliative therapies available is the goal of both. Finding a way to blend the two would help alleviate the confusion many patients and families experience and help motivate physicians to discuss end-of-life care options earlier in the disease trajectory.

Please visit the Gilbert Guide for the very best in Hospice and for more information about Palliative Care.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Palliative Care Services

My grandmother is in palliative care and is doing quite well. A nurse comes to her house once per week, her doctor makes house calls and visits her once every six weeks. She also has a sitter who comes in and talks with her and keeps her company while my mom gets out for a few hours each week. Mom also has a social worker that she can talk to when she needs advice. Then, there’s the chaplain who comes to pray with Nanny, and the dear lady who comes by and gives her a bath three times per week. She even had three weeks of physical therapy that has helped her tremendously in becoming able to do some simple selfcare. We did not know this type of care was available, much less that insurance covers it. Here is an article that tells more about this service.

Palliative care is specialised health care of dying people which aims to maximise quality of life and assist families and carers during progressive illness and continues after death.

Palliative care, also called comfort care, focusses not on death, but on compassionate specialized care for the living. Complete palliative care programs also address mental health and spiritual needs. The focus is to make the person feel in control of their treatment and their quality of life. Palliative care involves family and friends, who also need to be prepared for the death of someone they love. When people enter a hospice or begin palliative care, their loved ones may begin to experience increased feelings of grief and bereavement. These feelings may intensify as people put final affairs in order, which may include funeral and memorial planning. Other issues that need to be considered are power of attorney arrangements, and the right to die, including voluntary euthanasia.

Read more here.. http://tinyurl.com/ybpxd8k

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Monday, January 18, 2010

Palliative Care - Helping You Care For Your Terminally Ill Loved One


When my grandmother was placed in palliative care, I thought it meant that the doctors were giving up hope for her ever being able to recover. It’s not like that at all. In fact, she gets better care and more services now that she is in palliative care than she did when she was not. She no longer has to try to travel to the doctor—he comes to her. By the way, I think making the sick travel to the healer is quite backwards. The well/healers should come to the sick. No wonder everyone is sick. We gather them in a waiting room to share germs with one another while waiting for their turn to see the physician.
Back to the matter at hand. Nanny would have been bedridden if not for the hoist (like a car engine hoist) used to lift her lift her from her bed to her chair. Within the past month, she has begun to transfer from bed to wheelchair using a sliding board (see photo). When I visited her this past weekend, she stood on both feet for 42 seconds, and was able to stand from her bed using the walker and take three steps forward and then back to the side of the bed (see photo). She has set a goal for herself to be able to get from the bed to the wheel chair without the hoist or the sliding board by the end of this month. Physical therapy and palliative care have made all the difference for her, but without my mom’s consistent and firm urging Nanny to exercise her limbs for the past year while laying in bed, she might never have made this kind of progress. My mom is a saint. She is one of the strongest women I know of anywhere. And I see that same strength, willpower, and determination in my grandmother and my daughter.

I found the following article written by Lorraine Kember and hope it will be a blessing to you.

Ask most people what they know about palliative care and they will inevitably reply that it is intended for those who are dying. Undeniably, palliative care is available to support families at this sad time, however their services are equally intended to provide physical, emotional and spiritual support to the patient and their families as they journey through terminal illness.

It is important to bear in mind, that despite a terminal diagnosis, there is still life, and survival may range from months to several years. Quality of life, for the entirety of terminal illness is paramount. Palliative Care teams and the services they provide are there to help you care for your terminally ill loved one and to provide for them, the best quality of life attainable.

It is unfortunate that due to a misconception that Palliative Care is intended only for the very end of life, many do not embrace their services until the final stages of terminal disease and as a result, quality of life which could have been attained for the entirety of the illness is never realized.

Chronic untreated pain is debilitating, it dramatically affects a patient’s ability to participate in daily routines and in some cases takes away their will to live. Tragically, many people are suffering chronic pain unnecessarily. Pain management specialists attached to palliative care teams have vast knowledge regarding cancer pain and of medications available to control it. Once pain is brought under control, quality of life will be vastly improved.

Caring for a terminally ill loved one is a catastrophic experience; palliative care members understand this and there are counselors available to help you cope with your anticipatory grief. Likewise, chaplains are there to support you with prayer.

I cannot praise highly enough the services of palliative care, the team, who worked with me during my husband’s terminal illness, have my eternal gratitude. Through their dedication and the pain management specialist’s knowledge, my husband’s pain was controlled and the quality of his life improved dramatically. The silver chain nurses attached to the team visited us regularly and I looked forward to speaking with them and voicing any concerns I had in regard to my husband’s care. They never intruded on our privacy but were always just a phone call away if I needed them.

I urge you to embrace palliative care soon after diagnosis so that your terminally ill loved one and you may reap the benefits afforded by this wonderful group of caring individuals.

Article written by: Lorraine Kember – Author of “Lean on Me” Cancer through a Carer’s Eyes. Lorraine’s book is written from her experience of caring for her dying husband in the hope of helping others. It includes insight and discussion on: Anticipatory Grief, Understanding and identifying pain, Pain Management and Symptom Control, Chemotherapy, Palliative Care, Quality of Life and Dying at home. It also features excerpts and poems from her personal diary. Highly recommended by the Cancer Council. “Lean on Me” is not available in bookstores - For detailed information, Doctor’s recommendations, Reviews, Book Excerpts and Ordering Facility - visit her website http://www.cancerthroughacarerseyes.jkwh.com

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Saturday, September 19, 2009

Update on My Aunt and Nanny

If you've kept up with my blog for a while, you may know that my aunt, Kat, is dealing with terminal lung cancer. She has already outlived the six to eight months the doctor expected she might last when she saw him last November. Kat refused to have any more chemo or radiation and has been in hospice at home where she lives with her sister, Dot (my mom's twin). A hospice nurse comes by once a week to check her progress. Or, should I say demise? No, for a while Kat stayed at a plateau and didn't get worse or better. I think she was on hold until my grandmother, whom we call Nanny, decided if she was going to live or die. It seems to me that Kat and Nanny may have a contract to leave this world together or at least near the same time.

Nanny fell and broke her arm and hip last November, but made miraculous recovery after two hip surgeries. She was about to start physical therapy and learn how to safely put weight on the still-healing leg, when she got a urinary tract infection. The doctor put her on an antibiotic called Macrobid. The drug nearly killed her when she had a cardiac reaction to it. She was on the verge of having a stroke when my mom (her live-in caregiver) called for an ambulance. After spending several days in the hospital, Nanny came home on Wednesday. However, she was again taken to the hospital last night. There is fluid around her heart and the spinal vertebrae that she injured in 1976 is deteriorating and causing significant pain every time she moves.

About two weeks ago, Kat's health began taking a decline. She had been having headaches all along, but they became so bad that a stronger medication was added to the menagerie of drugs she is already taking. She got an upper respiratory infection, possibly pneumonia, but since she is in hospice, she doesn't see a doctor. The hospice nurse prescribed an antibiotic that helped some. At least she is able to sit up long enough to send me a funny or sweet email.

Despite the fact that she is on a constant and high intake of oxygen, her blood saturation level stays in the upper eighties and she feels weak most of the time. So weak that hospice offered her a walker to help her get around in the house. She doesn't want a walker. Hell, that's like admitting that she is approaching another stage of the dying process. She also refused to have a hospital bed at home, but Dot vetoed that decision. Kat is now using the motorized bed and recliner that were delivered two weeks ago. I think she likes playing with buttons and making the bed go up and down. In her condition, that's about as exciting as being on a roller coaster.

Nanny and Kat live about 20 minutes from one another. Kat still tries to make the trip once per week to see Nanny and let her know that she's still alive. They talk on the phone several times daily, and never go to bed at night until they tell one another "goodnight and I love you." So sweet. I love my family.

The twin sisters have it hard right now. Both are living with and caring for a relative who is fighting to stay alive. Dot recently retired from her day job so she could tend to her younger sister while my mom tends to Nanny. I live 250 miles away and don't get to Atlanta as often as I need and want to.

I'm supposed to leave for vacation next Friday. I'll be out of the country for a week. Kat and Nanny, please don't die while I'm gone. I'm coming down for a visit when I get back from Dominica Republic. Just hold on.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife available on Amazon.com.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Nursing Homes and Hospice Care

Many people in nursing homes and hospice care are without the loving presence and spiritual support of friends or family. There is a great need for compassionate volunteers, but not everyone is up to the task of assisting people in their transition. It takes a special person to walk in, meet someone for the first time, talk intimately with them, and hold their hand, all the while knowing they may not be around the next time they come to visit. Yet, this blessed gift of friendship is crucial in helping a soul leave peacefully. Linda Woods (www.linda-woods.com) visited her friend, Irving Faust, while he was in hospice. As a result of her experience that day, she now volunteers regularly at a local hospice. Linda shares her story about assisting Irving Faust in his transition:

I was not prepared for the vision in front of me. Irving lay in his hospital bed unconscious, his breathing labored, struggling to let go. He was on oxygen and every breath was intense, difficult and uncertain. When I received Naomi’s email about Irving’s condition, I thought I would at least be able to talk to him, look into his eyes, and squeeze his hand. Not so. His angels had other plans for my visit. Plans that would definitely ease his transition, and plans that would shock me and change my life forever.

It was 11:20 a.m. when I walked into the room. His daughter Martha had flown in from Denver earlier that week and was scheduled to fly out at 2 p.m. that afternoon. We introduced ourselves and shared our memories, tears and emotions. I talked a lot about my relationship with her father, who had treated me like one of his own. He was always listening, always encouraging, always accepting. Now, here he was in the final hours of his life. After struggling with cancer for over three years and trying several holistic treatments, he had finally passed through the stages of death: fear, denial, anger, and finally and most difficult of all -- acceptance. I knew that Irving could still hear us. But how could anyone comfort him at this time? How could we possibly know what he was feeling? Was he frightened? Was he seeing into other realms? On some level, was he conscious and waiting for the moment when Naomi and Kathy would arrive?
I sat by his bed and the tears welled up again. The nurses were telling us that he would probably make his transition later that evening. I hadn’t seen many people die. As a young girl, my grandmother had passed in front of me. I stood there helpless, with my mom, not knowing what to do. This time though, I knew I wanted to help, some how, some way. Intuitively I knew that I was a healer, but had never acknowledged myself as one. Being a healer did not mean that I could cure illness. That kind of healing only came from God. Being a healer to me meant that I could direct Source energy where it needed to go, and extend love, healing and comfort to someone in their most difficult moment. I had never actually offered my healing services. Instead, I was always promoting others as being more enlightened or gifted than myself. Oh, I had practiced my healing abilities on students in my Healing Touch class and on participants in my Reiki class, but never on a person who really needed my help, and certainly never with anyone who was facing his final moments. I knew about the power of intention. Anyone could use that gift to help others. And I knew about the power of “laying on of hands”—especially to comfort a young child in distress, or an elderly person facing loneliness, or anyone who needed the warmth and closeness of human touch. These were gifts that we all are able to give, with no special training, and I wanted to give those gifts now.

As I stood there, looking at Irving, a message raced through my head, “Do the ’chakra spread’.” I had learned this gentle technique in Healing Touch Class four years before and had not used it since. It was designed specifically for people who were in transition and trying to make a decision, and it was certainly appropriate now. It involved working with the body’s energy fields above seven specific areas, (called Chakras), including the solar plexus, throat, and heart. The message that I received was fast and fleeting, but it came on strong and I paid attention. I told Martha what I had heard and she listened intently. “I’ll ask Mom,” she said and picked up her cell phone. Martha was no stranger to Healing Touch. She had practiced as a Reiki master and massage therapist for years and knew the power and gentleness of the technique that I was suggesting.

“Make sure you want me to do this,” I said, “because it’s been known to speed up the process.” Martha understood completely.

My mind began racing, “Who do you think you are? You walk in here during his final hours, and suggest something like that, when these people have been through so much. This is a family matter…and YOU are not family. How dare you come in here and suggest something like that. Another thought guided me higher and I knew that I had a genuine desire to help if I could. Naomi and Martha were more than receptive, and I could sense on some level, that Irving was receptive also.

When Naomi arrived, I could tell she was exhausted. She sat down and allowed me to help her relax with energy work while we waited for her other daughter to arrive. Kathy was on her way during her lunch hour, but running late. The moments ticked by. Finally, Martha said, “I think you need to work on Dad now.”

I walked over to Irving’s bed and spoke to him. “I know you are seeing angels, Irving. My angels are telling me to work with what’s in front of me, and YOU are in front of me now.”

I held his feet, very gently, and let the warmth of my hands soak into the fabric around his skin. At first, he seemed agitated but slowly his breathing became calmer. I remained at his feet for a while longer and then placed one of my hands on each of his knees. His breathing slowed to a steady, peaceful pace. After awhile, I raised my right hand above his body and smoothed out his energy field from his head to his feet. Opening his heart chakra was the next step, and I trusted that I could help him; trusted that I could do this, and let go of the worry, the anxiety, the thoughts of inadequacy, and the feelings of unworthiness. I just let go. I bent my fingers and placed the lower knuckles of each hand so that they faced each other. All eight fingers were pointed downward, with thumbs held straight up. I simply pulled my hands apart as I opened the energy field above his body. (My hands resembled a soft retractor pulling open the air above him). I did this motion several times slowly, deliberately, while sending an intention of love and healing. This helped Irving open his heart. He was barely breathing now. Naomi stood up and came over to us, placing one hand on his shoulder, and one hand on top of my hand, which was now stationary over his heart.
Then, in that brief, quiet moment, Irving took his last breath. All was still, but I was shaken to my core. Never did I think that Irving would pass so quickly. I thought he would make his transition later that evening—not now—not while I was working on him. Oh God! I felt so responsible for accelerating his death. Naomi, who was much calmer than I was, reassured me that it was all in Divine Order. I was meant to come to hospice on that day of all days. I was meant to be by his side to help him make a peaceful transition. The time was 12:10 pm, and Irving was on his way home.

I know now that Irving gave me the ultimate gesture of respect. He trusted me in his final moments and acknowledged me as the healer that I am. Irving’s death was an experience I will never forget and the catalyst that sent me on to begin my own healing practice. Now I am helping others in transition – no matter where they are in their lives, and I’m teaching them to be healers also, showing them how to use their hands to send love, intention and healing to others. Thank you Irving, for trusting me, in your greatest moment: going home - going back to Source.

Assisting Irving in his transition was a very valuable gift to the entire family. It alleviated his suffering and allowed his soul to pass peacefully. The family had an understanding of what Irving wanted and were able to help him transcend.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife available on Amazon.com.


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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why Hospice?

My aunt is in hospice care, but she is still living at home with her sister, who works a full-time job. My aunt is alone most of the day, but she has a nurse come by each week to evaluate her decline, or should I say, progress? She has terminal lung cancer and was given six to eight months to live six months ago, but she is in much the same condition now as she was six months ago when she received that diagnosis. That just goes to show that there is no way to predict the exact amount of time it will take an individual to reach their point of death and make the transition.

Hospice care is not about fighting death or prolonging life with drugs, surgical procedures or technology. It's about making the patient as peaceful and comfortable as possible emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically while preparing for transition. Hospice care supports the whole person—body, soul and spirit—and educates the family and loved ones about the process of illness and the final stages of death. There is a difference between cure and healing. Cure means that the disease no longer exists. Healing, however, can mean a healing of relationships, or self-worth issues. Hospice is not a place to find a cure, but there are many opportunities there to find healing, peace of mind, and enhanced self-esteem amidst isolation, loneliness, and other issues. Hospice gives the patient a chance to talk about the things that have been on their minds. Some people on their death bed discover that they did indeed have a meaningful life and a definite purpose for living.
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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife available on Amazon.com.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hospice and Dying at Home

The concept of hospice began in England as a place where people could go to be comforted while dying from an illness. The origin of the word “hospice” in medieval times meant “way station for weary travelers.” The word retains its original meaning when viewed from the standpoint that we are all sojourners on this planet. Today, hospices are state-regulated and only accept patients who have less than six months to live. It is a philosophy of care that may be provided in the patient’s home or in a hospice facility.

For many years people viewed death as a normal part of existence, and it was not uncommon for people to die at home. In fact, the whole process of caring for the loved one before, during and after death was something families did at home. It wasn’t until the past 50 or so years that it became common for people to die in hospitals and hospices, and for funeral homes to provide after-death care for the body.

Our views of death may have changed, but one thing remains certain: we all need and want genuine, unconditional love. It touches and heals our soul, strengthens our spirit and enriches our lives. Birth and death, (entrance and exit from Earth), are two events where unconditional love is especially important. If you knew you only had a few weeks to live what conditions would you want around you? Would you prefer to be at home in familiar surroundings, or in a hospital or hospice center with access to medical professionals and trained volunteers to comfort you while you wait for your departure? Would you want your pastor or a member from your church to be with you as you make your exit? I would rather have a friend or family member with me, but perhaps you would prefer to die alone.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dealing with Guilt and Grief

No matter how much we give or do for a critically-ill loved one, it is common to feel that we have not done enough for them. Guilt can be debilitating and keep us stuck in the past. It is important for the caregiver and family members to heal their grief and let go of guilt. A dear friend of mine, Jake Matson, tells his story:

My grandmother had a stroke and was placed in a nursing home. I hated for her to be in a home and I was mad at my mom and Aunt Sue for putting her there. It was a long time before I would go to see her because I kept hoping she would get better. I guess I knew she was bad off and I didn’t want to see her that way. Finally I met my parents at the nursing home and went inside to see her. At that time my grandmother was very coherent, but she looked like she had aged 15 years since the last time I had seen her. She couldn't do anything for herself and the home provided the constant care that she required.

On the 3-hour ride home I kept trying to think of ways to talk Mom into letting me take Maw-Maw into my home (even though deep down I knew it was a bigger job than I could take on). Maw-Maw did so much for me and I felt like she deserved better. I kept thinking how horrible it must be to live in a bed in a strange place with only a TV for company. I vowed to visit her once a week.

The first time I went alone, I sat in the parking lot trying to talk myself into going inside. I hated seeing Maw-Maw in that condition. I walked in and she was so happy to see me. She complained about the food the home served, so I went to McDonald’s and got her a kid’s meal with a malt. She kept raving about how good the chicken nuggets and malt tasted. Since she only had the use of one hand, she couldn't eat like a normal person. It was very sad to watch her struggle to get the food to her face, only to have it fall out of her mouth. When it was time for me to go, she begged me to stay, “Please don't go, please stay longer!” she pleaded. I promised I would return the next week. On the way home I felt sad and vowed to go back the next week. I was mad at myself. I should have given her more of my time. Why did I wait until she was dying to spend time with her?

Over the next few months it got easier for me to see her. The visits were more upbeat. I went alone most of the time because I didn't want my kids to remember their great-grandmother this way. Maw-Maw was rebellious. She hated the food, she hated living there, and she fought with the nurses and aids. She asked me many times to get her out of there. She was more like a child wanting attention, and that didn't make it easy on me; I hated for her to be there too.

Mom and Aunt Sue hired a personal aid/babysitter. Why they hired a black lady to sit with an old New Orleans gal, I’ll never know. It reminded me of the movie “Driving Miss Daisy”. Every week Maw-Maw told me she was going to fire her. She treated her so badly, but Shea wouldn’t stand for Maw-Maw’s foolishness. She’d threaten to quit at least once a week. Shea must have really needed the money to stay with her. Truth is, Maw-Maw lived many more years because Shea saved her life more than once. Shea would stay seven or eight hours a day and Maw-Maw liked having her there, even though she would never tell her so. The aids at the home got used to Shea being there and they didn't do much for her after that. When I came to visit I would let Shea take a break. She deserved it! She was a saint!

Shea would have a wheelchair ready and I would push Maw-Maw up the hall and back, and sometimes I would take her outside. Maw-Maw lived for the day when someone came to visit her. Every week she would ask, “What did you bring me?” I brought flowers for her room every week, and we tried to decorate her room for every holiday. I always brought her something to eat and snacks for her to have later. I put up a bird feeder outside her window and she quickly came to expect that I would fill it during each visit. We laughed and told jokes. Once, I pushed her in a wheel chair down to a water fountain. I brought a fishing pole. We sat there and fished together and told fishing stories. I tried to make her laugh. If she was in pain I'd grab a nurse and ask if she could have a pain pill. If they told me she just had one, I would ask them to give her something else and let her think it was a pain pill. Maw-Maw would feel so much better then, not knowing she’d only had sugar water.

I would call my mom on my way to the nursing home and ask how Maw-Maw was doing. Mom would say, “Oh, she has good days and bad days, but the good days are less and less, and she is getting worse!” Mom even told me that I shouldn’t visit her anymore. Still, I was full of hope and optimism—thinking she was going to get well and get out of there. After all, she had conquered every illness known to man. I thought she was Superwoman. She defeated cancer more than once in her last 15 years. She lost her hair twice from chemo and grew it back. She had pneumonia several times. She broke her hip and still went dancing around. She had cornea transplants twice in 20 years. Even after her stroke I'd bet she could still drive a car with one foot and one hand if someone would have strapped her in! In reality, though, she was dying, and most of the good days she had was when I was with her. Even though her bodily functions were deteriorating, her mind was as strong as ever.

As time passed, Maw-Maw learned to tolerate living in the home, but we always talked about her getting well and getting out of there. I usually arrived around lunch time and always brought her food. She was diabetic, and I always got fussed at by Mom and Aunt Sue for bringing her food she wasn't supposed to eat. In reality she didn't eat enough to send her sugar level soaring. She loved the vanilla malts but never finished a whole one. I would stuff her closet full of snacks and Coke and things she liked. No one else visited enough to know that all she took was a bite or two. I encouraged my sisters to visit and bring her something; ANYTHING to brighten her day. One day I was running behind schedule and was wondering what to bring. I figured I would be there just after dinner, so I stopped at a liquor store to get the fixings for a martini. When I arrived she said in an ugly tone of voice, “Where were you today?” She quickly changed her tone, “What did you bring me? What's in the bag?”—trying to grab the bag from me with her one good arm. I told her I was going to make Martini's. She said, “Oh, Jake. I don't know if I should drink alcohol with all the medication I'm on.” I replied, “Just a little sip won’t hurt.” I set the bag of goodies to the side, having second thoughts. We talked for a minute or two and then she said, “Boy, are you going to fix us a drink or not?” I took a small Styrofoam coffee cup and made a Martini, poured half into another cup, then added an olive to each. She was so excited! She took a sip, spilling most of it on her clothes. She took another sip, spilling even more. Determined to get to the olive, she spilled even more. She couldn't have had much more than an ounce when all of a sudden she came to life with a sudden burst of energy and giddiness. She started telling dirty jokes, laughing and cutting up. She said, “Oh, Lord. If I pass now, I am going to smell like a drunk, and the nurses are going to think I been drinking all night. Don't tell Shea or Sue Ellen or we might get in trouble.” I didn't have to say a thing, within an hour she had everyone in the nursing home laughing. Maw-Maw had her wheelchair comic sit-up debut!
Even though I was nervous about Mom’s and Aunt Sue's reaction, I laughed for most of the 3 hour ride home. I called Dad to give him a heads up on what I had done. He laughed and thought it was great. I never heard from Mom or Aunt Sue, but a week or so later Shea wanted to know why we had a party without her. Everyone had heard about it. Time and time again, even at the funeral, many of our family and friends told me how she and the nursing home staff talked about that one visit.

In her final months Maw-Maw lost her volume. She still had presence of mind but she spoke very softly. She was not her feisty self anymore; not much on conversation. Every answer she gave was either “yes” or “no” without further reply. She slept a lot and didn’t want to get out of bed. She seemed to have aged 10 years in only a few weeks. It was getting harder and harder for me to see her this way—an old lady confined to a bed. I skipped a week and didn’t go to visit her. Before she would have fussed at me, but by this time she barely noticed. I skipped another week, maybe more. I couldn't make myself go to see her in that condition and I knew she didn't have much time left. More than once I prayed for God to let her go. I could see no reason why He would want her to live like that. There was no point.

The last time my two sisters visited Maw-Maw, she didn't open her eyes even once, but they felt like she knew they were there. My little sister thought it was time to pray. She took out Maw-Maw's favorite prayer, took her hands, and began to pray. Maw-Maw responded with tears from her closed eyes. Did she know these where her last days? Was she sad to be leaving or happy to be going? They all continued to pray through their tears. My sisters prayed well that day. Maw-Maw left us later that night.
I am glad I wasn't there when she died; yet sometimes I wish I had been. For a while after that I would get mad at myself. Why didn't I spend more time with her before she got sick? Why did I let all of those years slip away?

That must have been difficult for Jake, but what special memories he has of his dear grandmother. He was such a blessing to her.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

What If You Can’t Pay For A Funeral?

In end of life care we often are faced with a question like: “My relative just died. We don’t have the money to pay for a funeral. What do we do?”

These situations are never easy, but here are some tips to consider when handling a request for funeral assistance. The good news is that you can make funeral planning choices that reduce expense, and perhaps get some modest financial help to cover some (but probably not all) of the costs. The bad news is that I personally don’t know of any way to get the full cost of a typical funeral covered by public sources.

Before anything else, it’s important to recognize that this is a common problem. In the United States, funerals are very expensive. The burdens of medical care may have already depleted family finances. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Hospice professionals are used to these questions, and helping the family face stress after a death is part of the job of providing total family support. In hospice the unit of care is the family, and facing financial facts is part of the family dynamic.

Read More here.. http://tinyurl.com/crnoe8

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