Resisting Grief

When we lose a loved one, we go through a multitude of emotions before finally reaching acceptance. We may dislike the changes that are occurring as a result and may feel very dissatisfied with our lives without that person.

“I don’t like this!”
“I’m not ready to let go!”
“It’s too much for me to bear!”
“This shouldn’t have happened!"

These thoughts come to our mind when we can’t acknowledge the simple truth that everything in the universe is flowing, and that we must flow with life rather than resist it. In denying what is happening, and refusing to move on, we fight against the universe and the whole of creation. This fight is a lost cause from the very beginning because the universal cycles of life and death are very powerful.

When we think about our life circumstances in terms of “it should be this way” or “it shouldn’t be that way,” we ignore the fact that everything happens for a reason, and though we may not know the reason, it is supported by the creative force of everything that exists. Souls make choices on an unconscious level and may depart before we are ready to let go of them. We may doubly grieve if the loved one we lost was very young or healthy or died suddenly through the actions of another person or random event. If we could see the bigger picture from a higher perspective, things would look a lot different.

We try to be strong for ourselves and others during a crisis, but repressing our own feelings only traps negative energy that can detrimentally affect our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. When our rational mind produces thoughts of resistance, our positive energy comes to a standstill. It stagnates and accumulates an excess of negative energy that leads to physical or emotional suffering. Before long, we grow accustomed to feeling bad and this attracts more painful experiences that lead to further accumulation of negativity that attracts more of the same, and so forth.

So what is one to do in order to move from denial, anger, bargaining, and depression into acceptance? There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are ways to move through grief more quickly without allowing it to harm your health.

Feel what you feel. Admit that you are angry, suffering, or depressed and ask for Divine help in dealing with your personal response to the situation at hand. God can handle your anger—it’s just an “E” motion—energy in motion. Energy is meant to be in constant motion; not to get stuck in your body where it can damage your cells. Expressing your emotions releases them, so don’t be afraid to cry, punch, or scream into your pillow to let go of the pent up feelings.

Be real. Live authentically by being honest with yourself. Who are you angry with? Why are you angry about your current situation? How does this anger serve you? What worries you most? Are there any positive steps you can take to make the situation better? What would your life look like in a couple of months if you make wise decisions now? Think of the many ways your faith in a higher power can help you move on.

Once you have let go of any energy that has lodged in your body and mind, you will have a better outlook on life and will be able to make decisions based upon logic and intuition rather than knee-jerk reactions you may regret later.