More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife covers many aspects of the dying and grieving process and sheds light on euthanasia, suicide, near-death experience, and spirit visits after the passing of a loved one. ___________________________________________

Monday, July 8, 2013

Communicating With Deceased Relatives - How Can I Talk to My Family on the Other Side?

By Tina Bardo

Is communicating with the spirits of your loved ones after they have passed away unusual?
Is it unhealthy? Is it strange, weird or something to be embarrassed of, or is it a normal and perfectly healthy way of healing or helping with grief?

Is seeking out a psychic or a medium or someone who talks to the dead an odd obsession, or can it play an instrumental part of the puzzle when it comes to moving on?

The truth is, for those of us who write about the amazing healing benefits that having a credible communication with your loved ones can bring, traditional therapists and psychologists are now coming to the very same conclusions.

Why? Because the fact is, no matter WHAT you believe... it's impossible to ignore the fact that so many folks feel incredibly healed by having an experience they believe is a genuine and authentic communication with someone they've loved and lost. (most commonly a spouse, child or parent who has passed on, sometimes suddenly and without the opportunity to say a proper goodbye)
Even if you believe that spirit communication is silly, it's impossible to argue with the fact that many people who experience it, first hand report all sorts of amazing and life changing benefits that YEARS of therapy, or time... can do to lessen the feeling of loss after a loved one passes away.

Are psychic mediums the ONLY way to communicate with deceased friends and family members on the other side?

Absolutely NOT. And while mediums are often thought of as the only way to communicate with the spirits of those who have passed on, the truth is, there are many other ways as well... many of which happen completely spontaneously, and without any other input at all.

As a matter of fact, about HALF of all people will report some sort of afterlife experience with a family member or close friend, without any help from a psychic or medium or any sort of spiritual technique at all. (spontaneous, unplanned spiritual visitation experiences are very common, highly under-reported, and often life changing as well)

In addition...

There are tons of tools, and techniques that can help facilitate spirit communication, and they run the gamut from EMDR (rapid eye movement therapy) to mirror gazing, EVP, using a Ouija style tool or of course, seeking out the advice of a credible psychic or medium if the above sounds too weird for you, especially if you are curious but NOT yet convinced.

The key is - believe in SOMETHING. And be willing to explore the extraordinary.

It WILL change your life. (and what you come to KNOW happens AFTER your life, and the lives of all you love as well!)


Communicate with Your Deceased Relatives and Loved Ones From the Comfort of Your Own Home. Get Personal PROOF The Afterlife is Real (100% Guaranteed)

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Friday, July 5, 2013

Death of a Child - Does Loss of a Child Really Destroy Marriages?

By Kimberly Pryor

You've probably heard people quote statistics that parents who suffer the death of a child are more likely to divorce. In fact, the often-quoted statistic is that 75 percent of parents eventually divorce within months of the loss of a child. However, that number was the guesswork of a book author who wrote about this subject in 1977. Studies conducted since then paint a different picture.

The Compassionate Friends, the nation's largest self-help bereavement organization for families who have experienced the death of a child, conducted a survey in 2006 that showed a divorce rate of 16 percent among bereaved parents.

In another study, researchers at Montana State University-Billings administered a survey to parents who had suffered the loss of a child. The results? Nine percent of the respondents divorced following their child's death. And 24 percent of the remaining respondents had considered divorce--but had not actually done so. So in 33 percent of the couples taking the survey, the death of a child had stressed the marriage, but the divorce rate was nowhere near 75 percent.

A third study, published in 2010 in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, investigated whether there was a higher divorce rate in spouses whose child developed cancer. Cancer in a child was NOT associated with an increased risk of parental divorce overall. However, increased divorce rates were observed for couples where the mothers had an education greater than high school level. The risk was particularly high shortly after diagnosis, for couples with children 9 years of age and younger at diagnosis, and after a child's death.

If you have experienced the heartbreak of the death of a child, know your union with your spouse has a very strong chance of becoming even stronger. Still, in some cases, this tragedy can stress a relationship. To keep your marriage as healthy as possible, grieving parents should keep the following in mind.

Avoid Blame

Blame is highly toxic to any marriage because it involves accusing your partner of wrongdoing. For example, a husband holds his wife responsible for their teenage son's death because she gave their son permission to stay out late and drive to the movies with friends. On the way back from the movies, their son died in a car crash. In this scenario, the blame may erode the marriage's foundation.
Sometimes, grieving parents direct their blame at an outside entity. Compare Meryl and George vs. Patricia and Joe. Meryl and George's 11-year-old son Danny died of heart problems. Neither one blamed the other for the death. However, Meryl, who is Jewish, and George, who is Lutheran, were both angry with God. Prior to Danny's death, Meryl agreed to raise Danny as a Lutheran, and their little boy attended church activities and often arrived before the services so he could talk to the pastor. When Danny died, Meryl and George felt as if God had punished them unjustly for raising their son right. However, the couple was able to let go of their anger at God. Three years after Danny's death, George stepped inside a church for the first time since the funeral. More than a decade later, George and Meryl's marriage is still strong.

For Patricia and Joe, who lost their son Jimmy in a car accident, it was a different story. At first, the accident drew them closer together--until Joe blamed God for the accident, and his days were consumed with overwhelming anger that never subsided. Patricia, on the other hand, turned to God after Jimmy's death. They tried counseling, but Joe's bitterness at God and nearly everyone around him damaged their marriage, and the couple divorced.

Resolve Your Guilt

The study by the Montana State University researchers mentioned above found that
parents who have considered divorce after the death of a child are far more likely to express guilty feelings and frequently or sometimes perceive that their spouses expressed guilt. Those who hadn't considered divorcing were more likely to rarely or never feel guilt and were much less likely to perceive that their spouse expressed guilt. If you feel guilty in some way about your child's death, counseling may serve as an effective way to help resolve your feelings.

Realize You Both Grieve Differently

Our spouses often have similar interests and belief systems to our own. Grieving may be the first time in our relationships when we notice a significant difference between the two of us. Women, for example, are often more open and talkative about their grief while men tend to bundle their emotions inside or try to hide their vulnerability by grieving when alone. Men also can express their grief as anger. For example, when George discovered Danny had died, he punched the bedroom door, smashing a hole in the wood.

Allow Each Other to Grieve at Your Own Pace

Many of you reading this have heard these words before: "Why don't you move on? It's been a year now (or two years, or three, etc.)." When family says this it can be frustrating enough. But when a spouse feels as if it's time for you to move on it can feel devastating. Everyone grieves at his or her own pace, and we have to accept our partner's timeline. George and Meryl learned this firsthand.
About a year after Danny's death, Meryl wanted to visit his grave every week. George wanted to visit less often. At first, this hurt Meryl's feelings. But George convinced her going every other week was part of letting go. "I get a little crazy if it gets longer," Meryl admits.
Kimberly Pryor is the author of the bestselling ebook The Indestructible Relationship: A Couples' Guide to Coping with Bankruptcy, Natural Disasters, Infidelity, Illness, Death of a Child and Other Crises-Both Big and Small. The book tells the touching story of ten couples who have overcome adversity, including Meryl and George Muller, who lost their 11-year-old son Danny to heart disease. For more information on how The Indestructible Relationship can serve as a written support group for couples who have experienced the death of a child or other adversities, visit or purchase The Kindle ebook here:
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Monday, July 1, 2013

Caregiving Tips for Boomers: 5 Tips for Decreasing the Cost of Caring for Elderly Parents

By Dr. Vicki Rackner

Over 30 million Baby Boomers provide countless hours of assistance to elderly parents at no charge. It is estimated that, using average hourly wages, the total amount of this uncompensated care is comparable to the entire Medicare budget. For the estimated 7 million Boomers who provide long distance care, actual out of pocket expenses amount to almost $5,000 per month. For caregivers who have, or are considering leaving the workforce to care for an ailing parent, the costs are even greater - over $650,000 in forfeited salaries, benefits and pensions.

This stark economic reality shows only one dimension of the price caregivers pay for this act of love.

Caregivers pay with losses that extend well beyond their bank accounts. They often forego the activities that bring joy and richness to their lives, like meeting friends for dinner, or going out to the movies or taking family vacations. They pay with their time, the loss of professional opportunities and the erosion of personal relationships that result in isolation.

Sometimes, otherwise healthy loved ones need a short dose of care as they recover from an acute medical episode like a broken leg. Usually loved ones are on a path of steady decline with cascading assistance needs. Some caregivers sacrifice large chunks of their own lives as they help their parents and other family members and friends peacefully make their transitions. Caregivers can pay with their own health and well-being. In fact, we have evidence that some caregivers pay for their acts of care with their very lives.

You can decrease the personal and economic costs of caregiving. This means proactive planning rather than reactive responding. Planning saves money. You know this as you reflect upon your experiences of going to the grocery store with and without a shopping list. Planning also minimizes personal wear and tear and decreases stress. You will feel much better when you know your options and develop back-up plans before you jump into a challenging project.

5 Tips to Decrease the Cost of Caregiving:

1. Begin the conversation today. We have tremendous cultural resistance to the recognition of aging, disability and death. Just as the first few steps uphill are the hardest, so, too, you may meet the greatest resistance simply starting the conversation about their possible need for care. Say today, "Mom and Dad, it would be great if you lived forever, but the discovery for the fountain of youth is nowhere on the horizon. What thoughts and plans do you have about enjoying your golden years?"

2. Create a plan. Talk with your parents about their ideal plan if they are no longer able to care for themselves. Then, start to work toward that proactively. Investigate long-term care insurance. Draw up the appropriate legal documents. Find out who would make medical choices if they were not able to make them on their own, along with some guiding principles for the choices. You can anticipate and limit parental resistance by saying, "Mom and Dad, I just got back from the lawyer's office signing my will and durable medical power of attorney. I've asked Mitch to make my medical choices if I cannot make them myself. Just so you know, if I were in vegetative state, I wouldn't want to be maintained on a machine. You probably already planned ahead too, right?"

3. Use personal and community resources. Make caregiving a family job to which each member contributes. Even children can make grandma's life special with drawings and phone calls. Identify services that make your job as a caregiver easier. If you and your parents live in the same community, check with friends and neighbors and local organizations to learn about services and resources that will make your job easier. You say, "Mom has just moved in with us, and she wants to 'find a card game with the girls.' Do you know of any senior centers that have social events? How about transportation?"

We're a mobile society and millions of caregivers live more than an hour away from their parents. Executive William Gillis learned from his own personal experience how challenging it is to identify community resources from afar. As he was carving the path that ultimately led his on-line portfolio management service, he became the caregiver for his father. Talk about mixed emotions!  Professionally, he was introducing a service that let millions manage their investments with one click of a computer mouse. Personally, he was investing untold hours just to find one bit of information to help his dad."

As with so many innovators, he used his personal and professional experience to launch Parent Care (, a service that he wished would have made his life as
a caregiver-at-a-distance easier.

4. Gather cost-savings tips. This might mean something as simple as ordering generic medication or regularly inquiring about senior discounts. But, most cost savings opportunities aren't as obvious. Mr. Gillis found, for example, that some states will pay for phones for hearing, visually or mobility limited seniors or fund home safety improvements. He said, "We've invested heavily to locate time and money saving resources that most would have difficulty finding. I made it a personal mission to help other caregivers avoid some of the costs and frustration I encountered." You don't have to re-invent the wheel. Tap into the resources others have collected.

5. Take care of yourself. You will be able to provide the best care as a caregiver when you're at your best. Get good nutrition, enough sleep and regular exercise. Manage your stress and do a little something every day to nurture your soul. Understand that you are at increased risk for anxiety, depression, and weakening your immune system. Talk to your doctor if you see worrisome signs such as problems sleeping, changes in appetite or loss of interest in activities you enjoy.

Despite the costs, most caregivers say that they received much more than they gave. Most say they would do it again, and many do.

Sometimes the question is not the personal cost of caregiving; it's the value that you bring to the lives of others that matter at the end. What personal cost are you willing to pay for the privilege of helping those who welcomed you into the world to enjoy their golden years and travel the road of illness with love and dignity?
Dr. Vicki is a board-certified surgeon and Clinical Instructor at the University of Washington School of Medicine who left the operating room to help caregivers and patients take the most direct path from illness to optimal health. Want more tips about caregiving? Get your free report "Caring for the Caregiver" by emailing Dr. Vicki Rackner today at and be sure to check out her regular column with the Johnson & Johnson Consumer Products Group’s new caregiver web site
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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