One of the hardest things in life that you have to deal with is death in the family. Perhaps you already know that there's no easy way to say good-bye. However, you also don't want to miss the moment to do so.
There are no golden rules, but you can take heed of the following steps:
1. Remind them of the good things they've done. Even at their last moments, you definitely want them to feel that their lives are not in vain. They have contributed something not just to you but to the rest of the world. Talk about the good things and the pleasant memories. You can create a scrapbook or an album you can show to the dying. He or she can then turn the pages if he or she wishes to reminisce.
2. Don't treat the person too differently. Families and friends tend to treat the dying with a lot of pity and sadness. Unknown to you, the dying actually has a very excellent observation skill. They can easily detect if it's too hard for you to let go. In turn, it will be hard for them to say good-bye. Don't see them as totally different person. As hard as it may be, act as you usually do when he or she is still completely well.
3. Allow them to say good-bye. It's not only you who has to say good-bye. A lot of dying patients want to take the opportunity to do that too. After all, they are the ones who are going to do the leaving. It's essential you give them the liberty to bid farewell. Don't say, "You are still not dying" or "You still have a lot of days to live." You are only making things harder for them.
4. Listen very carefully. There are a lot of things the dying would like to talk to you. Perhaps there are still some activities they wish to accomplish, people they wish to see, or they just want to reflect on the possible death they are going to experience. Just be there to listen. There's really no need to give some advice unless he or she asks you.
5. Be there when the time comes. The dying may tell you they want to go alone, but the truth is it makes them really scared. So be there for them at the moment of death. It's going to be quite difficult, but it's one of the best things you can do for the beloved. Your inner strength may also be needed by friends and family who have weaker hearts than yours.
6. Keep yourself strong. Strength is one of the things you definitely need when you're about to face grief. When you know that it starts to dissipate, just use subliminal messages. There are many subliminal messages you can recite before seeing the dying or when you're meditating. These subliminal messages may be the following:
I am blessed by the friendship and love of (name of the dying).
I accept the process of death and grief.
I embrace the pain.
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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!