More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife covers many aspects of the dying and grieving process and sheds light on euthanasia, suicide, near-death experience, and spirit visits after the passing of a loved one. ___________________________________________

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Free E-book on Death, Dying, and Afterlife

If you would like the e-book version of my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife, you can get a copy as a gift when you subscribe to my free newsletter.

If you would like a printed copy of my book, you may either purchase it on Amazon.com or get a signed copy from me for $10 plus shipping. Please use the contact form on my Web site and put your mailing address in the comment box. Also, include who you would like the book inscribed to.

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Friday, February 26, 2010

Children's Story about Dealing with the Death of a Pet

The Sid Series: Puppy Love ~ Dealing with the Death of a Pet
Author: Yvonne Perry
ISBN: 9780982572207
Publisher: Write On! (2006)
Available from Amazon at http://tinyrul.com/AmazonSidSeries
Review by Donna B. Russell


How do you help a child deal with the death of a beloved pet when you, yourself, struggle to understand "why"? Yvonne Perry does so with simplicity, sensitivity, and the understanding that children need to be allowed to express their own thoughts and, in doing so, may impart a wisdom of their own.

When the family dog dies of old age, Ran-Ran, Von-Von and grandson Sid must come to terms with their grief. In an atmosphere of safety and acceptance, Von-Von wonders out loud why dogs don't live as long as humans do. Sid's surprising response, and a stray puppy, help them come to terms with their loss and open their hearts to another dog in need of love. Without euphemisms that are confusing to children, Yvonne Perry's tender story takes you through grief to healing, ending on a positive note.

Perry says, "Some people will tell you that dogs and cats don’t have souls so they can’t go to heaven, but I don’t believe that." Anyone who has lived with an animal companion, and taken the time to really understand them, would agree with her. This is one of the best books I've read on the subject of pet loss.

Puppy Love is one in a series of holistic children's books written by Yvonne (Von-Von in the book) for her grandson Sid, who is the main character. It may be written for children, but adults will enjoy it, too. I recommend it as a sensitive way to help children (and adults) deal with a very painful subject.

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer, editor, award-winning speaker, and owner of Writers in the Sky Creative Writing Services in Nashville, TN. She also is host of the Writers in the Sky podcast, which include interviews, seminars, and audio workshops available through iTunes.com and other podcast directories.


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You might enjoy reading the complete book, The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children.

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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Puppy Love --Dealing with the Death of a Pet

Story Title: The Sid Series: Puppy Love --Dealing with the Death of a Pet
Author: Yvonne Perry
ISBN: 9780982572207
Publisher: Write On! (2006)
Available from Amazon at http://tinyurl.com/AmazonSidSeries
Reviewed by Donna B. Russell

How do you help a child deal with the death of a beloved pet when you, yourself, struggle to understand "why"? Yvonne Perry does so with simplicity, sensitivity, and the understanding that children need to be allowed to express their own thoughts and, in doing so, may impart a wisdom of their own.

When the family dog dies of old age, Ran-Ran, Von-Von and grandson Sid must come to terms with their grief. In an atmosphere of safety and acceptance, Von-Von wonders out loud why dogs don't live as long as humans do. Sid's surprising response, and a stray puppy, help them come to terms with their loss and open their hearts to another dog in need of love. Without euphemisms that are confusing to children, Yvonne Perry's tender story takes you through grief to healing, ending on a positive note.

Perry says, "Some people will tell you that dogs and cats don’t have souls so they can’t go to heaven, but I don’t believe that." Anyone who has lived with an animal companion, and taken the time to really understand them, would agree with her. This is one of the best books I've read on the subject of pet loss.

Puppy Love is one in a series of holistic children's books written by Yvonne (Von-Von in the book) for her grandson Sid, who is the main character. It may be written for children, but adults will enjoy it, too. I recommend it as a sensitive way to help children (and adults) deal with a very painful subject.

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer, editor, award-winning speaker, and owner of Writers in the Sky Creative Writing Services in Nashville, TN. She is also host of Writers in the Sky Podcast, which include interviews, seminars, and audio workshops available through iTunes.com and other podcast directories.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Monday, February 22, 2010

Spirituality and Music In Palliative Care

Unlike hospice care which entails providing services to the terminally ill patients whose physicians have declared that they have only six months to live, palliative care does not postpone nor speed up death, it helps relieve pain and symptoms by offering support which the client needs to live actively and functionally.

Part 1 - Spirituality and Music in Palliative care.

Palliative care may also involve other professional disciplines to ensure that the patient receives all the necessary services. In this article, I will review and explore the perceptions of nurses and patients on spirituality and music in palliative care.

Spirituality and Palliative Care.

Spirituality in general has been shown to contribute to patients' comfort at the end of life and has been identified as one of the key concerns of dying patients who need support. Spirituality does not necessarily mean that one's beliefs are religious based, it is therefore unique in everyone and may be explored and assessed in one's own values, beliefs, relationships, attitudes, practices, their hopes, fears, meaning and purpose in life as reported by Kernoham, Waldron, McAfee, Cochrane, & Hasson (2007).

Read more here.. http://tinyurl.com/yeenfrg

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Recommended Blog on Suicide

I found a blog in which a mother is communicating with her son from the Other Side. He committed suicide and is giving her some very comforting messages. I thought those who read my blog might also enjoy this one: http://www.drmedhus.com/channelingerik/

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Thursday, February 18, 2010

How to Deal With a Death of a Pet With Children

The death of a pet can be very sad. It's made more difficult with young children because they have a hard time understanding death. Explaining it can be tough. If you tell your five-year-old their cat has passed on they might be clueless as to what "passed on" means. "Lucky, passed on where, Mom? Did she go across the street?" Even if you use the word death, young children have a hard time grasping how long death is. If you explain to your child that death means a long period of time you still might get, "Does that mean Spot will come back in three weeks?" Three weeks is a long time to a five-year-old. At age six I still couldn't understand how long summer was. My older brother showed me a calendar and flipped up three pages saying that's how long it was. That helped. Some. At least I knew it was for a long time. You actually have to tell your child their beloved pet will not be coming back. You can't pussy foot around death. Death is final. You do not want your child to think an animal is coming back if it's not. Please do not tell your child that Pickles went to live on a big farm in Idaho if Pickles died. This is a lie and serves no purpose. And your lie can be exposed. However, if your family's belief system is that there is an afterlife you can tell your child you believe Fluffy is in Heaven. This is a belief. It differs from "Pickles went to live in Idaho." This statement is a lie because you're purposely being deceptive. It's a deliberate falsehood. You know Pickles did not go there.

Children grieve in different ways. One of your children might sob, another could pester you with questions, and your last child might get real quiet and refuse to talk. Each child has their own personality. And because of that each had a different relationship with the deceased pet. Moreover, one child could have been closer to the family pet than another. Did the pet sleep in bed with them? It won't anymore. And that's sad. Be kind. Don't brush away your child's feeling and tell them to buck up. If you offer to take them for ice cream to cheer them up, do NOT renege on it if they say no. They might be feeling so heartsick they can't eat right now. Take your child in a week.

The death of a family dog can be very upsetting to a child. Especially if it was an indoor dog. House dogs interact with the family more. Therefore, children will get more attached to them. So be there for your child. Have a shoulder for them to cry on. Let them know it is okay to grieve. Even if you as a parent weren't particularly close to the family pet be empathetic. Give extra hugs. Ask your child if they would like to create a photo album of Shaggy. Write near each picture the occasion, what's happening, and with whom. On the last page you can attach a note with something like, "We love you Shaggy! Thanks for being our dog and loving us. You were much appreciated." Or "Shaggy, you'll be missed. You'll be in our hearts always." Or your child can write a personal letter to their dog and sign their name. They can put the letter in a picture pocket of the album to be shared years later. Remember dogs give unconditional love. They love you whether you're rich, poor, short, tall, dress well, or are unkempt. There is maybe one string attached to their love, which is "be kind to me." Unlike humans they don't have worldly "expectations" of how you should be. They love you just as you are. And older children know this. Their dog loved them just as they were. If your child had a particular hard day and was naughty, and you punished them, Shaggy was still a ready friend. He was ready to give a consoling lick on the face. On the worst of days a child really needs a cuddle. Shaggy was there to be hugged close and to listen to grievances against you. He didn't judge. He just loved.

Some children like to have a small memorial service for their pet. I've been to many pet services in backyards. Fish. Hamster. Rat. Turtle. Lizard. Depending on where you live, bigger pets, such as dogs or cats, have to be buried in a pet cemetery or be taken to a place to be cremated. You should check. You can still have a small memorial service. The memorial can be just sharing good memories. "Remember how Rover would lay down low and sneak over to the counter and steal pizza?" Then it was a pain, now it's a funny memory. Maybe one child will draw a picture of good times with Rover. Another child might read a poem they wrote. A memorial service provides closure. Which is important. That's why saying your pet went to live in Idaho when he didn't is wrong. There is no closure.

In The Sid Series story titled “Puppy Love ~ Dealing With the Death of a Pet,” I wrote about pet death. If you have a child who needs comfort after losing a pet, please let them read this story. Here’s a summary:

Scrap had been the family’s dog for many years before Sidney was born. One morning she didn’t come when she was called to breakfast. Learn how Sidney and Von-Von deal with the death of the family pet and the arrival of a new one. This story alludes to reincarnation and teaches children to cope with the death of a pet.

And here is a link to purchase the story as an e-book or the printed book on Amazon.com: http://tinyurl.com/AmazonSidSeries

Jay Marie has a B.A. in the Behavioral Sciences, Sociology. She is a Former Nanny to children with parents in the Entertainment Industry. Find parenting programs to help you and your child at Harmony in the Home. To find more parenting articles and to get useful tips, family movie reviews, children's book reviews, and family activities/child art projects follow my BLOG parentingtipsandmore.blogspot.com

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Monday, February 15, 2010

Hospice & Palliative Care - Where's the Common Ground?

Receiving "The News"


A person faced with a new diagnosis that is life-limiting is generally overwhelmed. Everything has changed, and nothing will ever be the same. All of the grief stages can come into play: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately, acceptance. The person might wonder, Why me? Why now? Can I beat this? The situation can become overwhelming when coupled with confusing medical jargon about palliative care and hospice care. Let's start by clarifying the care options that are available.

Palliative care for life-limiting disease naturally follows curative treatments. Treatments can include chemotherapy, radiation, blood transfusions, dialysis, physical therapy and more. The goal is to achieve the highest quality of life for the patient while trying to control or eradiate the disease process. This is a time for hope and challenge for the patient and family. It is generally only when all treatment options fail or have been exhausted that the physician may suggest comfort care, which is also known as hospice care.

Similarities & Differences

Hospice care and palliative care both provide compassionate care for patients facing life-threatening illnesses. Both share a team-oriented approach to medical care: pain management, symptom management, and emotional and spiritual support that are patient-specific. Both share a common core belief as well: that every patient deserves the very best care possible, and that each of us has the right to die with dignity and respect, pain-free. In fact, the word palliate refers to giving comfort (but not cure). The differences between the two disciplines are subtle. While all hospice care is palliative or comfort care, not all palliative care is considered hospice care.

Confused?

Let's look at it another way. The focus of hospice is on caring, when curing is no longer an option. To be eligible for hospice care, two physicians (the primary physician and the hospice physician) must certify the patient's prognosis to be six months or less, should the disease run its natural course. The hospice philosophy embraces death as a natural part of life, and encourages a patient's desire for dignity, respect, and autonomy over his or her own care. Aggressive symptom management and pain control support this philosophy.

Most hospice care is provided in the patient's own home. Some care is also provided in nursing homes, residential care facilities and hospice facilities. Services are provided regardless of religion, race, age or illness. The patient care goals are centered on quality of life as opposed to quantity of life. Hospice care is covered under the Medicare Hospice Benefit, Medicaid, most private insurance plans, HMOs, and other managed care plans. All charges related to the terminal diagnosis, such as medications, durable medical equipment (e.g., a hospital bed), and nursing and supportive services, are paid by the benefit. Hospice care, therefore, is both a philosophy and a method of health care financing for terminally ill patients and families.

Palliative care is very similar to hospice care, but with a broader population. It is not time-restricted-indeed, it can last for years-and no specific therapy is excluded if it can improve the patient's quality of life. Palliative care helps meet the needs of patients and families who are not yet eligible for hospice services as well as those who still want to pursue more aggressive treatments not covered under the hospice reimbursement system. Payment for palliative services is generally paid by the patient's insurance, Medicare or Medicaid (but not under the hospice benefit). Goals of care focus on improving quality of life and helping support patients and families during and after these treatments. Whereas palliative care is appropriate from terminal diagnosis on, when prognosis is uncertain, hospice care focuses on supporting patients with a life expectancy of months, not years. From that standpoint, palliative care should naturally follow curative care, and then evolve into hospice care as the disease process progresses.

Looking to the Future

The hospice benefit is written for comfort care only, and is intended for patients with terminal illnesses who have exhausted all curative and therapeutic treatments. In that sense, it can be abrupt and frightening, and generally results in very late hospice referrals from physicians. The challenge for hospices is to find a way to transition from one discipline to another.

Patients should have a safe place to explore care options while still receiving palliative treatments-without pressure to enroll in the hospice program later on. This is an important step in patient continuity of care, and one that warrants further attention.

Currently, hospice and palliative care are separate disciplines. Helping patients and families deal with terminal diagnoses and navigating the various palliative therapies available is the goal of both. Finding a way to blend the two would help alleviate the confusion many patients and families experience and help motivate physicians to discuss end-of-life care options earlier in the disease trajectory.

Please visit the Gilbert Guide for the very best in Hospice and for more information about Palliative Care.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Spirit Guides - How to Connect and Communicate With Them

What are Spirit Guides?

Many people believe that everyone has a Spirit Guide (or Guides) - entities that come from the Spirit world, who you can contact and communicate with, and who are ready and willing to help and assist you as you walk the Earth.

They are believed to be loved ones who have passed, ancient ancestral spirits, or even spirits from the Angelic Realm, and are assigned at birth to protect and support us.

Your Spirit Guides have learned many lessons and may well have also crossed your path on Earth in past lives. They know you very well, your strengths and weaknesses, and your abilities and your hopes and fears - and they know your destiny.
Your Spirit Guides are always willing to help and support you, but will not interfere in your life without a specific invitation.

Connecting with your Spirit Guides

Simple meditation is recognised as the best way to contact your personal Spirit Guides. Meditation is simply the process of calming your thoughts, slowing down, and focusing on a particular outcome or particular thing.

Spending fifteen minutes a day stilling your mind will be beneficial not only for contacting your personal Spirit Guides, but it will help you relax and enable you to reach some inner peace and calm that most of us have forgotten.

Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Try to make it a special place and a special time in your day. To create a pleasing ambience, pull the shades or dim the lights, play some soft music, light candles and incense sticks.

To help increase awareness of your personal Spirit Guides and shift attention away from the Earthly Plane, we will create a special place in your mind where you can meet them.

Relax in a comfortable chair, close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Every time you exhale, feel the stresses and worries of the day leave your body with every breath. Notice the sinking feeling when you breath out, and use this as a vehicle to allow you to let go and relax even more.

Continue reading here.. http://tinyurl.com/yewzbao

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Friday, February 5, 2010

Children Who Talk to Angels

In the story, “A Ghost In My Closet ~ Communicating With Angels,” Sidney encounters what he thinks is a ghost in his closet. Von-Von affirms the presence of angels in Sid's life and teaches him how to interact with his divine helpers and spirit guides without being afraid. This story helps children with intuition or those who see in the spirit to accept this mystical gift. The Sid series is written as much for parents as for children because many times parents do not know how to deal with children who are spiritually gifted.

Read more about this phenomena at http://tinyurl.com/y9zovwr
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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

A Grieving Child - How To Help Children Of All Ages Through Bereavement

Grieving infants: many people think that because infants are too young to speak or understand complex ideas, they are too young to grieve. That's not true, according to grief experts. Infants may not be able to articulate it, but they feel the changes that come when someone dies. Their schedule may suddenly change, they miss the smell of that person, and their parents may act differently, not playing as much or being quieter.

This confusing time may result in changes to their behavior. You may notice differences in their eating, sleeping or bowel movements. You might find it harder to soothe your baby or get the child to laugh at play time. He or she may be less receptive to strangers and change.

What to do:


Keep the baby's schedule as normal as possible.

Try to keep the baby at home as much as possible, with the same people he or she is used to.

Make every effort to soothe the baby with some extra cuddle time and calming words.

Two to six years old: death can be a confusing blow to the otherwise sheltered life of a young child. Parents who have previously tried so hard to protect them from life's tragedies suddenly have to explain them.

Young children generally struggle to comprehend three concepts surrounding death:

The first is the "non-functionality" of the body. Sometimes children can liken death to sickness. They think the person might be sleeping. They don't understand that the body that held the spirit of the person they loved is now lifeless.

Secondly, they can struggle to realize death's finality. No matter how many times cartoon characters get bonked on the head or run over, they always come back. Why can't their loved one do the same?

Lastly, children have yet to learn that everyone dies. They might believe that death can be avoided. They may return to the habits of a baby, revisiting behavior such as bedwetting, clinging and whining.

At this stage in life, children can take statements literally, so be careful with how you euphemize the situation. They can also be very self-centered about their thoughts, thinking that they may have affected the situation.

What to do:

Be honest.

Explain the difference between "very, very sick" and just "sick," as well as "very, very old" and just over 20, so that the child doesn't think everyone will die from circumstances that sound similar to how their loved one died.

Use concrete words such as "dead" and "died" to give the child a clear idea of what happened.

Explain clearly what death is and explain the feelings that go along with it. Tell the child it's OK to be mad and sad, but that eventually it will get better.

Give him or her permission to cry when they need to (even for boys) and also play when they want to.

Make sure your child knows he or she did not cause the death in any way.

Involve them as much as possible in the funeral planning.

Let the child know that you'll be there at the funeral, and also to support him or her in the months ahead.

Six to nine years old: at this point in life, children can understand the finality of death, but they don't understand their vulnerability to it. For that reason, they may be especially shocked if a peer dies. Children in this age group often think of death as something alive, a spirit or personification, such as the Grim Reaper.


Some think of death as contagious. Other children may tease or ignore a bereaved child at school, thinking that they can catch the death bug if they get too close. These children are at an age where they are very curious about the details of death. They're learning how bodies work, and they may want to know exactly how the person died and what will happen to the body.

It's best to be honest, yet reserved with the details. If you don't answer questions, they may get information from their friends, or may just imagine what they think happens, both of which can be inaccurate and more frightening than the real thing.

Make sure you explain death before going into other aspects, such as cremation or burial. They need to know that the body is no longer their loved one as they know it.

Lastly, it's OK to say you don't know something. Help your child find the answers they need.

What you can do:

Ask the child what he or she knows about death, and correct any misconceptions.

Be honest and use clear words such as dead and died.

Ask about the child's fears and discuss them. Tell him or her it's OK to be angry.

Explain the feelings that may come after a death.

Put in some extra cuddle and hug time.

Tell the child you love him or her and you're still a family.

Involve the child in funeral planning.

Understand they may turn death into a play game, such as burying their dolls.

Ten to thirteen years old: these kids are going out on their own, relying more and more on their friends and trying to fit in. Grieving can make them feel different and alone.

Tweens are also working out the right and wrong of life, and they may think they somehow caused the death by thinking ill of the person who died at one point.

At this stage in life, pre-teens understand the facts about death; they're more interested in the abstract ideas behind the "why." They may be wondering about the myths they've heard about death. Is there really a heaven? Could I die soon? Who decides who dies?

They're most likely to reach out to adults of their own gender. In their journey to becoming adult, they might try to emulate the characteristics of their gender. Rather than risk being called a sissy, boys may hold in their emotions to try to be a man. Girls may try to take care of everyone around them, perhaps at the risk of neglecting their own needs.

Even though they might spend time with their friends, it's still the advice and example of their parents that influences them the most.

What you can do:

Explain the death in a detailed way to ease their curiosity and their fears.

Explain the feelings that might come from their grief.

Provide a journal to help them write and make sense of their feelings. Encourage them to write letters to the person who died and record their memories.

Involve them as much as possible.

Talk to the parents of the child's friends. Make sure they discuss the loss with their children, and give them advice on how to support a grieving friend.

Visit http://www.thelightbeyond.com/ : helping you through bereavement, one step at a time...
Created by Lucie Storrs, The Light Beyond bereavement site, forum, inspirational movie and blog aims to help as many people as possible on their journey through grief.  Would you like our free Bereavement For Beginners ebook? Our gift to you, this practical, useful guide for the bereaved and those who care about them is packed full of information, inspiration, poems and words of comfort.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

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