How to Give Terminal Care to a Dying Parent

By Kum Martin

Usually, as children we reconcile to the fact that sooner or later we will have to care for our parents because of deteriorating health and age. However, when your parent is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it can be devastating for you. Giving terminal care to a dying parent is not easy. Usually, this type of care is given when the life expectancy is less than 6 months.

Talk to your parent about terminal care and other treatment options. Find out what your parent wants. At times, your parent may not be ready to give up treatment options to prolong life. Hence, their wishes should be fulfilled. However, warn your parent about the possible side effects after discussing the same with the doctor. If your parent does not want to suffer from the side effects, then terminal care would be the only option available. This concentrates on making the person feel more comfortable during the last stages of the disease.

Speak to your parent about making end of life care decisions. If your parent is lucid and able to make decisions, then find out whether they want to spend the last days of their life at home or in a hospital. This is important from your parent's point of view, as it will reduce emotional stress and also let them choose where they die. Generally, people with terminal disease want to spend their last days surrounded by their loved ones and in familiar surroundings.

Make sure that your parent gets palliative care during the last stages of their disease. This will keep your parent comfortable and reduce symptoms associated with the disease. The doctors may medicate your loved one for pain and other uncomfortable symptoms that they may experience, such as nausea, shortness of breath or constipation. It will also provide you with some relief, as palliative care tries to ease the burden of the primary caregiver. It gives emotional, spiritual and physical support to both the patient and family members. Speak to your parent about hospice care, as it will allow your parent to die with dignity and grace.

When your parent is lucid, find out about what plans they have in place for their funeral. It sounds morbid to be discussing such a topic even before the person passes away, but it will allow you to fulfill your parent's last wishes. This may not be necessary if your parent has made a living will.

An important part of terminal care is providing emotional support to the dying person. This is extremely challenging, as everyone involved will be emotionally fraught. Hence, you would have to get your emotions under control and be there for your parent. Speak to your loved one and find out what they want. At times, they would just want you to listen. Address any spiritual need by calling on a religious leader. If they want to reminisce about the good old days, make sure you listen actively and also speak about those days. Try to spend as much time as possible with your parent, while ensuring that they are comfortable and pain-free.

Kum Martin is an online leading expert in elderly care. He also offers top quality articles like: Terminal Illness

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kum_Martin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Top Five Regrets of the Dying

By Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Bronnie Ware is a writer and songwriter from Australia. Her blog has a loyal and ever-increasing following and has been quoted in several respectable international publications. Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, also titled 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'. For more information about this or to read more of Bronnie's work, please visit her blog at http://inspirationandchai.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bronnie_Ware

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Suspended Animation

Stopping signs of life and starting them again might seem like pure sci-fi—but according to cell biologist Mark Roth, it's very possible. Roth says that by carefully using a toxic gas, he can induce suspended animation in small mammals. He's hopeful that the stuff could be used to help save lives in emergency rooms and surgery wards. Learn more in this fascinating video on PBS.org: http://dld.bz/aNJcF

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Signs That Your Deceased Loved One is With You

I'd like to invite you to call in to my podcast this week because my guest, Sheryl Glick, is going to be sharing some stories about how she has interacted with her deceased loved ones. She will tell you what signs to watch for—numbers, names, birthdays, objects in our path, symbols. All these are relevant and not coincidence.

Sheryl Glick is the author of Life Is No Coincidence: The Life and Afterlife Connection, a fabulous book filled with stories about how she met John Edwards in person and how her mother and father have communicated with her from the Other Side. You don't have to be a psychic to do this with your loved ones. We'll tell you what to watch for.

You are invited to join Sheryl and me in this conversation and learn more by calling  605-475-6350 and entering access code 356172# at 2:00 PM Central Time on Thursday, March 8, 2012. I believe this show will be both inspiring and comforting to those who have lost loved ones through the portal we call death.

Listen to the replay now: 

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For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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Signs, Signs, Everywhere are Signs!

Sheryl Glick joins Yvonne Perry on We Are One in Spirit Podcast March 8 to speak about her book, Life is No Coincidence. Below is how you can call in and join the discussion or ask your questions about spirit communication from loved ones on the other side. If you miss the event, don't worry. I will the replay link post on this blog after it is recorded.

Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 2:00 PM Central Time Dial-in Number: 605-475-6350 Participant Access Code: 356172#

Have you noticed that the time between thinking something and seeing it manifested is far less than it used to be? Are you seeing that when your emotions, feelings, and thoughts are aligned that your desires (and fears) come into play much more quickly? Do you ever feel like you've known someone even though you just met them? You may think about an old friend you haven't seen in years and within days (hours or minutes) she shows up or calls you. This is synchronicity, not coincidence.

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events that seem unrelated or unlikely to occur by chance; nevertheless, they occur together in a meaningful manner.

Things we never noticed or paid attention to before are being brought to our awareness. You may see symbols such as numbers on a digital clock or car tags, animals that reappear in your path, synchronicities (meaningful coincidences or event occurring in perfect timing), or other signs.

The week of 11/11/11, I was parked in front of a fruit stand at a convenience store while my husband went in to make a purchase. When I looked up I noticed that the number 11 was printed on several of the boxes. I counted more than five number elevens. Five years ago, I would have walked by without even seeing this.
Sheryl Glick's book is filled with stories like these that show how we are without a doubt connected through numbers, birth dates, names, and synchronicities. After reading Life is No Coincidence, anyone will become more aware of the signs from Spirit and be encouraged to look more closely at things that seem random.

A very interesting and easy read that will inspire you to pay attention!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~For more information, you might enjoy reading my book, More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase paperback on Amazon.com. It's also on Amazon as an e-book for those who have Kindle or Sony Readers. The audio book is now available!
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