What If You Can’t Pay For A Funeral?

In end of life care we often are faced with a question like: “My relative just died. We don’t have the money to pay for a funeral. What do we do?”

These situations are never easy, but here are some tips to consider when handling a request for funeral assistance. The good news is that you can make funeral planning choices that reduce expense, and perhaps get some modest financial help to cover some (but probably not all) of the costs. The bad news is that I personally don’t know of any way to get the full cost of a typical funeral covered by public sources.

Before anything else, it’s important to recognize that this is a common problem. In the United States, funerals are very expensive. The burdens of medical care may have already depleted family finances. It’s not something to be ashamed of. Hospice professionals are used to these questions, and helping the family face stress after a death is part of the job of providing total family support. In hospice the unit of care is the family, and facing financial facts is part of the family dynamic.

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Tattoos, Death and Using Body Art As A Memorial

Once a rite of passage for drunken sailors and outlaws, in the most recent generation of adults, tattoos have become a growing trend and social statement. Some people do it because they perceive it as being cool; some find it sexy; some find it a conversation piece; some find it an act of rebellion, some find it attractive and more recently it has become a way to honor and memorialize someone who is missed and loved.

This growing use of memorial tattoos is making something of a comeback. Historically, these have been amongst the most popular images of body art. People have always needed a way to grieve, honor and remember lost loved ones and tattoos have provided a very personalized way to memorialize someone. To those who have gotten a memorial tattoo on their body it has provided a deep meaning and ever present connection with the deceased.

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Cremation and Archaeology - A Pair at Odds?

Over the last few weeks I have been watching one of my favorite TV programs, The Naked Archaeologist ( http://www.visiontv.ca/NakedArchaeologist/index2.htm ) with Simcha Jacobovici ( http://www.simchaj.ca/blog/ ) when I realized that he was looking at grave sites and bones. You see, archaeologists often dig up areas and find buildings, pyramids, mounds that they say were once great cities, but to find bones is a real score. To find a grave site with bones and artifacts and clothes can tell a lot about a person and about a society and its culture.

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United States Navy Mortuary Affairs

Burial at Sea is a means of final disposition of remains that is performed on United States Navy vessels. The committal ceremony is performed while the ship is deployed. Therefore, family members are not allowed to be present. The commanding officer of the ship assigned to perform the ceremony will notify the family of the date, time, and, longitude and latitude once the committal service has been completed.

Eligibility: Individuals eligible for this program are: (1) active duty members of the uniformed services; (2) retirees and veterans who were honorably discharged. (3) U.S. civilian marine personnel of the Military Sealift Command; and (4) dependent family members of active duty personnel, retirees, and veterans of the uniformed services.

How to get Started: After the death of the individual for whom the request for Burial at Sea is being made, the Person Authorized to Direct Disposition (PADD) should print out and complete the linked Burial at Sea Request Form. [This is a .PDF file. The software to download and print this file is available at no charge to anyone who wishes a copy.] Supporting documents which must accompany this request are: (1) a photocopy of the death certificate; (2) the burial transit permit or the cremation certificate; and (3) a copy of the DD Form 214, discharge certificate, or retirement order. The Burial at Sea Request Form and the three supporting documents make up the Burial at Sea Request package.

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Comparison of Hospice and Hospitals for Terminal Patients

There are numerous differences between hospice and the medical model from hospitals.

Hospice

In hospice, patient comfort is a top priority. While hospice acknowledges that a patient is terminal, it tries to make the most of the patients’ last days. Caretakers want the patient to be comfortable. Narcotics and opioid medication can be given in large doses for comfort. Often the patient has a PCP, a Personal Care Pump in which narcotics are self administered to reduce pain. Morphine and Demerol, strong Class II narcotics are used for pain palliation. Cure is not expected. Comfort is offered. Social workers, counselors, and nurses are available to the family to help the patient make final days dignified and bearable.

When a family takes care of a terminal patient, they usually understand that no life saving measures will be offered once a patient enters hospice. If the heart stops beating or if respirations cease, a code will not be called, and the patient will expire. The nurses are assistant coroners and will pronounce the patient dead. Pastoral care can be offered, and hospice staff helps the family make final arrangements. Relationships are made prior to the death, and the hospice staff helps the patient and family with final good byes. Most hospice workers offer compassion, information, and empathy. Patient comfort is a top priority, and family is encouraged to visit.

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More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories About Death, Dying, and Afterlife Book Review

More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories About Death, Dying, and Afterlife
Author: Yvonne Perry
ISBN: 0-9753870-6-5
Price $13.99 US
Publisher: Booksurge (2005)
Pages: 166 pgs.
Genre: Spirituality/Metaphysics
Reviewer: Andrea Mai (a student in WITS newbie mentoring class)

When I first got the book, I was under the impression that More Than Meets the Eye by author Yvonne Perry was going to be primarily about near-death experiences (NDE) and the spiritual aspects involved with such an experience. While there are certainly chapters devoted to the NDE, I am happy to report the book is about so much more than that. It was an intriguing combination of analysis, personal experience, collected and collective stories. Perry graduated from the American Institute of Holistic Theology with a degree in Metaphysics which allowed her a solid background to explore the subject. This book is filled with well-researched details about everything you might want to know about death, dying, and afterlife.

One of the chapters I especially enjoyed was called Souls and Ceremonies. It was filled with information about burial, embalming, and cremation with historical and modern citations about laws surrounding each of these processes. I’ve often thought a funeral pyre would be a great way to say goodbye if our society could handle it. Instead, I’ll probably just be cremated behind closed doors and handed over to my loved ones in a tidy little urn. My grandmother always wanted to be buried in a plain pine box but apparently, in Minnesota, there are laws for how well the box must be constructed. After reading this chapter, I want to find out more for her.

I was intrigued by the chapters discussing the afterlife and NDEs. The author, Yvonne Perry, grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church and that’s where she spent her time until she was forty years old. Then she began to explore other spiritualities. I found it interesting because my history is almost the opposite of hers. I spent years studying Taoism, Buddhism, and Paganism then spent time in Christianity, then left for more Buddhism and have returned fully to a liberal Christianity but not in order to follow by rote what others tell me to believe. I believe in the Christ. I also believe whole-heartedly in reincarnation. As a student of Christian theology, my beliefs about God are wider than the little box many to which many ascribe for the Divine, starting with my Christian brothers and sisters. And, Perry does a fine job of exploring the afterlife from both her own understanding of metaphysics and religion as well as the understanding within different spiritual/faith communities.

The only real problem I had with the book was the personal stories that were in italics. Some only had a brief mention of the storyteller which made it hard to keep up with who was telling the story. This was primarily an issue of how it was formatted for these sequences. The stories were good, just a little vague about who was telling them. Of course, I read quickly with a tendency to skim until something jumps out at me. So, it may be my own method of reading that triggered the problem.

With chapters on Hospice care, suicide, euthanasia as well as ceremonies, near-death and out of body experiences this 166-page book lives up to its title. I think the book works because Perry takes a thoughtful approach to these subjects, neither forcing her views onto the reader but also not shying away from subjects that many readers might not know about or understand. I had never heard of walk-in souls as she described in Chapter Seven: I Don’t Like it Here (Dealing With Suicide). It was a completely new idea to me and one I’ll read more about.

The book didn’t have time to get dull with the very approachable blend of statistics, facts, other people’s stories and Perry’s own story. It was a quick-read but one you can go back to again and again to go a little deeper. There were some helpful items found at the end of the book. A copy of a Living Will and Warning Signs of Suicide were included as well as a Bibliography listing her many resources.

Overall, I would recommend this book to any person who is either curious or struggling with any of these issues. It was enjoyable, thought-provoking, and I know I will return to it when I meditate on these topics.

The Highest Tribute To The Dead - Not Grief, But Gratitude

Helping elders and their families feel vital and empowered is a movement, a call to action, an awakening to positive change. And so when Natalie Tucker Miller, founder of Ageless-Sages picture books for Elders™, speaks we all listen.

As I sit with my friend Lilah, weeks after her stroke, she indicates that her heart is telling her it’s time to move on. It’s easy to feel gratitude for my beautiful elder friend, yet waves of grief are present as well.

Saying good-bye to friends is just part of the package of befriending elders. The honor of being in the presence of people who have embraced the next leg of their journey is a gift I receive over and over and only hope I can adequately pay forward!

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Thoughts Before Writing A Eulogy

To say that the death of a loved one is a difficult time is an understatement. Every person is a unique individual and the ways in which we react to the passing of someone about whom we care are just as unique.

Though death is inevitable, very often, we’re not prepared to lose a loved one—no matter what the circumstances. Our minds and our bodies go through changes during the process of grieving. The amount of stress—especially on those closest to the deceased—is often overwhelming.

And, yet, the death of a friend or family member is one of the times when we are called upon to be our strongest and are faced with decisions and situations that may seem beyond our understanding or control.

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Grieving the Loss of a Loved One

My brother-in-law died suddenly when he fell from a ladder in 2007. We drove to Maryland where we celebrated Don's life and visited with my husband's family. Don was cremated so there was no physical body for anyone to ogle. Don was an avid fisherman and loved to be near the water. It only seemed appropriate that his celebration was held at the beach house of some dear friends who live on the eastern shore. Each person who wanted to speak was given a turn to share a story about Don. Afterward, Jimmy Buffet music played and margaritas flowed as some cried, others laughed at the memories they shared. I think I cried enough for everyone there; not because Don was gone, but because of the love everyone was expressing so easily.

Don really isn't gone. His presence was sweet and strong all day. Many felt him near and told how he has appeared to them since his passing. Some members of the family called a dear psychic friend of mine, Reverend Cherise Thorne who had offered to connect with Don's spirit and give a message from the Other Side (http://www.knowingspirit.org). Cherise's message was so comforting that the family was hardly showing any emotional disturbance. This was perplexing to me so I asked a few of them how they were able to be so strong. Their reply was consistent, "Because Don is here. He is not gone!" I believe that. When a wreath of flowers was tossed into the water, it turned around and headed right back into the bay near the house. It stayed there all afternoon in spite of the wind blowing in every direction. This, to me, is an indication that Don really wasn't ready to leave us and that he's planning to hang around for a while longer.

Cherise also told my sister-in-law, Tammy, that she saw animals in the spirit when she was connecting with Don. She described a beloved pet that had passed and then she mentioned a rabbit near a bench in the garden. The family had a flower garden with a bench where Don and my sister-in-law often shared a sandwich or a glass of iced tea. They had never had a rabbit so the information was puzzling at the time. However, a few days later my sister-in-law was looking out the window when she saw a rabbit standing on its hind legs staring right back at her. After a moment, the rabbit hopped up onto the bench and sat there again facing the house and looking in the window. Tammy knew it was Don trying to communicate with her.

Samhain (some call it Halloween) is the time of year that we honor those who have gone before us. It is believed that the veil between the physical 3-D world and the spirit world is thinnest then. A lot of people report seeing or having visitations from their deceased loved ones in the fall season. In my book, More Than Meets the Eye, many people told me stories about seeing a bird or an animal come up and stare right at them. "Don't you recognize me?" the little guy seems to ask. They just knew it was their loved one. And, why not? Small animals and birds have energies that are easy for newly passed spirits to manipulate. Not every soul that departs from the body crosses over immediately. Especially if there is unfinished business with loved ones left behind or if the death was sudden and unexpected as in Don's case. Sometimes a loved one will become a spirit guide for a family member they cherish. Three weeks later Tammy is still aware of Don's presence with her.

The time we spent with my husband's family was beautiful and rich with memories. I didn't know a lot of the people since I am rather a new-comer to the family, but there was so much love shared I felt like I had been part of the family forever. After all, we are one. And, we are blessed!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Perry

Life After Death and Near Death Experiences - Are These People For Real Or Are They Crazy?

There may be a fine line between mystical experience and hallucinations. On the one hand, our imaginations are boundless and our connection with other realms is limitless. I suppose one way to tell whether the experience is indicative of a mental disorder or if it is truly an experience of
God would be to evaluate it's fruit or outcome. If someone says that they had a mystical experience in which God told them to kill another person, we'd call them crazy in our society.

Then again, Muhammad killed people when implementing his revelation from God, and we honor him as a saint. Maybe that's not a good way to tell since right and wrong differs from one country or culture to another. People have looked at me like I was crazy when I've told them about my own mystical experiences. From that, I gather that reality to one person is not reality to another. Therefore, I'm not sure we can appraise or nullify a person's spiritual experience.

What about dreams? Are they mystical experiences? Some of mine have been crazy for sure, but I also know I've heard from another realm in a few of them. Then there is the book of Revelation in the Bible that is based entirely on dreams and visions received by a prophet.

Western Christianity bases much of its belief about the end times upon a dream dream someone had almost 2000 years ago. The dream has caused denominations to formulate doctrine about a rapture of saints, a physical return of Jesus Christ, (although they do not agree about when) and the end of the world as we know it.

Since there are such diverse beliefs and theories about death and the life thereafter, my personal belief comes from accounts I've read about regarding those who have had near death experiences (NDE) and from what I have personally experienced

No matter what the person's religion, those who have had an NDE consistently share some commonalities:

· They did not know they were dead

· They could see what was going on here

· They saw a tunnel of light

· They saw angels, Jesus or other saints

· They had a choice of whether or not to return to the body

· They passed through a review of their lives, saw areas that needed work, and were inspired by the "judgment" rather than frightened or condemned by it

· They had no fear of death after the experience

From what I have personally experienced:

My grandmother has shared with me many times that she died during her hysterectomy when she was in her 30's. She went to a beautiful place of peace but was told she had to return to earth. She also tells me of having conversations in dreams with her husband (my grandfather) after his death. Since I too had spoken with him, I didn't think it strange. After his death he came to me in a dream with advice that I followed. As a result my daughter and I were able to come to an understanding on an issue that we were unable to resolve before.

I was burned in a grease fire that set my mother's kitchen ablaze when I was seventeen. During the event, I saw my life pass before me. Even though I was in pain, I did not feel afraid of dying, yet I knew my time was not up. I slipped and fell in a puddle of grease I could not get up. With the flames encircling me, I prayed and asked the angels to put the fire out and help me get up. Within minutes the flames ceased and I walked out of the house to a neighbor who took me to the hospital for treatment.

In 1988 I had emergency gallbladder surgery. I was at death's door. I remember wanting to go to the other side and really thought this was my ticket out of an unsatisfying marriage. I was disappointed to still be on earth when I awoke.

I saw my uncle Edmond before his death while he was in coma and again within 24 hours after he passed. He gave me the words to a poem he wanted read at his graveside. I followed his instruction. About a month after he died I was sitting in my car while my husband went in to pay for gas. A man came out of the store with a pack of cigarettes and a cup of coffee (something so typical of my uncle). When he made eye contact with me, it was Edmond 20 years younger. He said "thank you" (telepathically) then walked by my car. I turned my head to follow him, but he had vanished into thin air. He had come to thank me for carrying out his wishes at his graveside.

I related this to my mom and she said I needed to tell my grandmother because she also had contact with him.

I can "feel" the presence of angels and the vibrational energies of departed spirits. I sense the energy of a room and instantly know if there is an unseen presence. I've seen angels in my bedroom at night and conversed with them in my dreams. I've had many similar experiences and have concluded that those who pass to the other side are very much alive and happy. Never have I felt afraid of them or thought it strange that these things happen.

A person's spiritual experience is personal and should not be shunned or ridiculed by another person. We are all on a spiritual path and we are one in spirit.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Perry

Life on the Other Side

If only we knew what was on the Other Side of this life! Knowing for sure what lies ahead might make a difference in how we view dying and aging and how we handle the death of a loved one.

Much of our fear about death is rooted in delusions and distorted ways of looking at life and the world around us. Generally, our fear of death is an unrealistic fear. Perhaps the best way to overcome the fear of death is to remember that our present physical life had a beginning. There was a time when we were not on Earth in these physical bodies, and there will be a time when we shall return to a non-physical state of being. The rational mind has difficulty believing that any reality other than the third dimensional world of time and space, in which we currently live, could possibly exist.

There is no real separation between the physical and non-physical realms. The separation seems real because there is a very thin veil (i.e.: our skin and physical body) between the two realms that dims our ability to interact with those in other dimensions. But more than the physical sense of separation, we limit ourselves with the false belief that we have only five senses with which to explore and experience life. This belief hinders us from accepting what our inner knowing tells us is true. We are multi-sensory spiritual creatures able to sense the presence and energy of non-physical beings. We also exist in other dimensions besides this 3-D earth plane.
Haven't you ever had a dream that was so intense, you couldn't believe it was just a dream?

What do you believe about the Afterlife? Are you afraid of dying? Those who have had a near-death experience report there is no judgment-only love in the afterlife. Even those who had a negative experience in the episode, come back changed and more aware of their purpose for being here.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Perry

Grieving and Moving on - Nanny, Why Don't You Sell That House?

My grandmother could not sell her house or any of Pap's belongings for many years after my grandfather died. She just wasn't ready to let go of the memories they had shared. No one in our family pushed her even when she let his 1971 Datsun pickup truck sit in the yard until it literally rusted and dry rotted. It wouldn't crank so no one could move it.

The neighborhood was going down in value and crime was increasing as renters took over the 50 year old homes. Then, one day Nanny came to my mother and said, "Doris, it's time. I'm ready to sell and get out of this neighborhood. Pap isn't coming back. He's not in that house or his truck. He lives in my memories and I can take them with me no matter where I live."

My mother lived next door. She and Dad had wanted to sell for years, but they waited for Nanny to make up her mind. Once they got the okay from Nanny, Mom and Dad put their house up for sale along with Nanny's house and the vacant lot between them that we had used as a garden plot for nearly 30 years. All three properties sold within a month at a price much higher than they expected.

Then, they found the perfect one-story house that backs up to the lake for all three of them to live together, each having their privacy in a split bedroom floor plan. It all worked out so smoothly, even the closing of the loan (HA!) we knew it was divinely guided. Mom added a glassed-in porch a few years ago with windows that open to let in the fresh air. Nanny has a place to sit outside just like she used to in the old house.

Everyone is happy with the arrangement and my grandmother doesn't have to live alone any more. She is 90 now and truly enjoying her life.

I visited my family over the Easter weekend. I know my grandmother is nearing the end of her life, but there are few lessons she has taught me.

Do what you want and don't let others influence you to change your mind.

Stand for what you believe in, even when it goes against popular opinion.

Live each day to the fullest; give it all you've got and you can rest when it is over.

Keep on going even when you feel you can't. Life is a journey and each step counts.

Love without expecting anything in return. Unconditional love is God working within us.

Let others help you. Don't be afraid to ask for assistance.

Be kind to the strangers your kids bring home. Let them eat at your table.

Let others do as they please and do not judge them for having values different than your own.
My grandmother has had more influence that I thought. She is a remarkable woman. If you've ever met her, you would agree that she is at least a saint; more likely she's an angel in human flesh!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Yvonne_Perry

Spirit Accompanies Brother in Surgery

Anita Cooper said that when she and her husband, Eldon, were going to the hospital for his cancer surgery, she saw someone approaching the side of their car. She thought it was a neighbor trying to catch them before they pulled out of the garage. She turned and saw the spirit of a man in her back seat. “We’ve got company,” she said to her husband.

She began a conversation with the spirit, and he told her his name was John and that he was Eldon's brother. He said he wanted to be with him during his surgery if the “others” would let him stay. She thought it was strange that the man claimed to be Eldon’s brother because Eldon was an only child and he didn't know who John was.

Much later, Anita asked Eldon's mother if she had another child. She said that she had lost a male child in a miscarriage and that his name was John. She had never conceived again, and Eldon never had children of his own. Therefore, John did not find a body in which to be near Eldon. Instead he was with him in spirit. Eldon then remembered the invisible playmate he had as a young boy and knew that it must have been John.

Willed Body Program

The last post-mortem option I want to mention is the Willed Body Program or what is better known as “donating your body to medical science”. Studying the human body and its structure lends valuable information and insight to scientists and medical researchers in understanding and treating illnesses and finding cures for disease. Because the use of a body in anatomical studies requires preservation immediately after death, it is not possible to have a traditional funeral service. Many families have a memorial service without having the body present. Once the study is complete, the remains are cremated and either returned to a family member or placed in a memorial garden or interred in accordance with state law. A person must be at least eighteen years of age and competent to make such a bequest.

Where the Hell is Hell?

Some fundamental Christians believe that an “unsaved” soul will go to hell when the body dies. Since a person’s consciousness and karma (unresolved issues) remains after death, hell could be considered the state of mind we create for ourselves while on earth. Mueller says that karma can be worked out in the Afterlife. I suppose that is why some people are concerned about a judgment of souls after death. In every NDE I’ve researched where the individual experienced any type of judgment, it was the higher consciousness of that person judging themselves. It was more of a life review to reveal areas that needed improvement. To me, this would be a helpful evaluation, not something to be dreaded or feared. In fact, it is somewhat common for us to assess our decisions and actions to determine whether they are helpful or harmful to our soul’s development. For some people this is a daily exercise. For others, it is practiced at least once a year when they make New Year’s resolutions.

Spirits Still Have Emotions

According to South African Shaman, Tommy Muller, most souls attend their own funerals. Tommy told me that spirit guides converse with one another at these events. He says to never go to the funeral of someone you don’t like and pretend to be paying homage to them. The deceased spirit is very likely to be hanging out with the family during the “laying in state” and memorial services. Spirits can read the inner thoughts of every person regardless of the behavior they put on for the family. The deceased spirit is agitated and sometimes angered by the two-faced behavior of those they thought were their friends. Yes, spirits still have emotions!

Spirits waiting on the other side for the soul who just passed are also in attendance at funerals and ceremonies, and they rejoice that the soul has been freed from the limitations of the human body. They see life as simply a lesson learned and a contribution to humanity and the planet, but they do not mourn; only humans mourn. Contrary to popular opinion and the vision of the movie industry, spirits do not generally hang out in graveyards. They want to be around people, and funerals are an ideal gathering place for them. They are able to interact with human beings and may choose to visit their loved ones. This does not mean that they are anchored to the earth plane. Without a dense body they are free to be in more than one place at a time.

Mueller told a story of a dishonest visitor who stole the ring off a corpse on the “showroom floor” (the funeral home). The daughter of the deceased was very upset and told a friend about it. The friend recommended a visit to Mueller. During the reading a spirit guide who had witnessed the crime gave an exact description of the thief—someone who had been in attendance the day the ring was stolen.

Mueller says that the personality of a soul continues in the afterlife. Otherwise you wouldn’t be you! Jesus Christ appeared to his friends after his death and resurrection in a new type of spiritual body. Many people recognized him not only by his physical appearance but by his character and personality. They didn’t recognize him until he broke the bread in the same manner as he did before his death. (Luke 24:28-31). Both before and after his death Jesus showed frustration that his disciples didn’t believe the truths he had revealed to them. This seems to indicate that whatever beliefs a person holds in consciousness at the time of death will continue to exist until they are resolved and the soul moves on to another plane or mission.

The “Tibetan Book of the Dead” describes an intermediate state called “bardo” which an individual enters after death. The Sanskrit word “bardo” refers to the 49-day period between death and rebirth during which a soul is adjusting or acclimating. This is the time that one is most likely to encounter deceased loved ones. That causes me to wonder whether there are stages to entering the Afterlife similar to the way a soul comes in gradually as a fetus developing in a mother’s womb. Perhaps “bardo” is the “Valley of the Shadow of Death” mentioned in Psalms 23 of the Bible.

My Dear Friend is Transitioning

I met Reverend Juliet Nightingale in 2005 when I was gathering information about near-death experience (NDE). Our resulting friendship has given me the courage to not only talk about my near-death and spiritually transforming experiences, I also wrote More Than Meets the Eye, True Stories About Death, Dying, and Afterlife, for which Juliet so kindly wrote the foreword. She continued to believe in me and urged others to purchase my/our book on her Web site and whenever she had speaking engagements.

Now, our dear Juliet is coming to the end of this Earthly life, and is in hospice care. We expect to hear the news any day that her spirit has left her body. Thankfully, her daughter is keeping a group of Juliet's close friends up to date on the transitioning process so we can support her with our love and prayers.

I fully expect Juliet will visit me in spirit, but probably not until she's had a chance to soar, fly, ride the rides, see the sites, reconnect with friends, and have fun experiencing the Other Side--that place she has longed for all these years since having her first NDE in the 1970s.  If you know Juliet, you've probably heard her talk about the afterlife as if it were as real as this Earth plane, and I agree with her that it is as real.

As part of her legacy, Juliet started a Ning Group called Light on the Water as an NDE support and interest group for people who've had spiritually transforming experiences to be able to discuss them in a safe place. It's also a great place for researchers, caregivers, seekers, and media to get more information. I encourage you to check out the group to see if it is right for you.

Death Brings Change for All

Regardless of the method used to dispose of the remains, the passing of a loved one is a spiritual passing for those of us who witness it. The death of a close friend or relative has a way of opening our eyes and ears to the unseen realm. It also provides an opportunity for us to think about what we are doing with our lives and where we are on our spiritual path. We tend to contemplate who we are, why we are here and whether we are living life to its greatest potential. This contemplative evaluation can move us to create change for ourselves.

Post-mortem processes

Other methods of post-mortem treatments include cremation, cryonics and donation of the body to medical science. According to Cremation Association of North America (CANA), cremation is becoming more widely practiced in the United States and Canada and is the post-mortem choice for 25 percent of all deaths. Cremation is a process of preparing human remains for memorialization in which the body is placed in a chamber and subjected to intense heat and flames. After approximately 2 to 2 1/2 hours at temperatures between 1,400 to 1,800 degrees Fahrenheit, all organic matter is consumed. The cremated remains, (also called cremains), are then processed into fine particles and placed in a container or urn purchased by the family. The cremains may then be retained by a family member, interred in a cemetery plot, or scattered on private property or at a public place that was significant to the deceased, providing local regulations allow it.

When I mention cryonic suspension services, (cryopreservation), you may think I’ve gone bonkers! Freezing human remains today in hopes of reviving the body in the future may seem far-fetched to us, but who would have thought a hundred years ago that the heart of one human could successfully be transplanted into another and give them a chance to live? Who would have believed, then, that a baby could be conceived in a laboratory test tube then placed in a human womb to develop and live a normal life? Did your ancestors read about cloning in their newspaper headlines? Cryonics is a post-mortem procedure in which a patient is prepared and cooled to a temperature where physical decay essentially stops. The temperature is maintained indefinitely in hopes that medical technology will advance and be able to awaken and restore patients to good health. I wonder if the same soul would return to that body or if a soul exchange would occur.

My grandmother asked me to play and sing for her funeral

She has whole thing planned out but the date, which she assures me is coming soon. Sure, my voice will cooperate and be just lovely while I'm crying my eyes out. No big deal!

I wrote about my grandmother, who we call Nanny, in some of my earlier posts on this blog. See November 2008 for details, but to catch you up, she's age 92, and she fell and broke her hip and arm on November 7. She will never walk again and really hates being incapacitated. She's ready to go, just waiting for her ride--not the hoist we use to get her in and out of bed, but the Great Chariot ride in the sky.

Part of her funeral plan, includes having me play piano and sing "Amazing Grace" with my cousin Carla--just like we used to when we were teenagers. It's not that I don't possess the talent to fulfill Nanny's request. I sang solo and played for the church choir and congregation for a thousand years. Okay, it was more like 25 years, but it seemed like an eternity ago. If it was someone else's funeral--like someone I don't know or like--I could probably manage, but I'm sure my voice and emotional condition are not going to let me perform this feat for the grandmother who practically raised me.

I have to tell Nanny I can't sing at her shindig, but how do I tell her Carla will do it without me? I suppose I should tell Carla first since she's in charge of the high notes.