Children Have Much to Teach Us About Past Lives

Does your child talk about when she used to be someone else? Listen to her. Write it down. She could be talking about a past life. Children are a lot more aware of the spirit realm than most adults realize. When a soul comes into a body, it brings with it cellular and/or conscious memory of where it was before coming to earth.

Without prompting, many children as young as two years of age remember and speak of their past lives. Some describe details, people, and events of that life that they had no way of learning in this life. The Sun Newspapers in Sri Lanka has a short documentary on YouTube (http://ow.ly/y4z2) about a young girl who remembered living and dying in a village not more than six miles from her current home and life. When taken to the village, she instantly recognized her home, called the names of her siblings, and went directly to the cabinet where her toys were stored in the past life. Fortunately, both sets of her parents accepted this phenomenon and she is allowed to spend time in both homes.

ABC News shares a story about a boy named James Leininger who recalled details of his past life as a World War II Navy pilot who was shot down and killed over the Pacific. James had terrible nightmares about a plane crash; and he knew details about airplanes and a pilot named James Huston Jr. that he couldn't have known at such a young age. Once his parents researched and found evidence supporting the boy’s claim, they believed that he was the reincarnation of James Huston, Jr. and his nightmares stopped. http://ow.ly/y4zY

Some parents either don't notice what their child is saying or don’t believe it's possible that the child is remembering a past life. They may discount the experience and think the child is making it all up. If your child wants to tell you who they were or how they died in a past life, please listen. Children have much to teach us, and these experienced souls have come to us for a reason. Not only are past life experiences real, they affect us in our present journey. Having knowledge of your past life may explain some behaviors, habits, or health challenges we encounter in this life.

Reincarnation was once an accepted belief, but thanks to the Second Council of Constantinople in A.D. 553, many people were led to believe that humans only have one life or one chance to get it right in order to avoid eternal damnation of the soul. Even today, according to Dr. J. Chiappalone’s book Keys to Reality, more than 60 percent of the world's population still believes in reincarnation. According to a 2005 Gallup poll, only 20 percent of Americans believe in reincarnation.

While The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children does not directly mention reincarnation, it does allude to it in “Puppy Love ~ Dealing with the Death of a Pet.” As a child, I had no one to help me understand some of the paranormal things I experienced. Naturally, I feel it is very important to give parents and grandparents a comfortable starting point for discussion on topics that aren’t easily explained to children. Reading my book to a child is probably going to spark some questions from your little ones, but it the stories are written to reassure children that it’s okay to talk about spiritual things. I invite you to take a look inside the book at http://thesidseries.com/

Additional reading

http://www.childpastlives.org/
http://paranormal.about.com/cs/reincarnation/

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Dealing with the Death of a Pet

I’m Yvonne Perry and I’m the author of The Sid Series. The main character in my book is my grandson, who is now eight years old. His name is Sidney. In real life, he lives in the country. When his family first moved there, the house didn’t have a fence around it. He has owned several dogs and cats—all shapes and sizes, but it seemed like every time he got close to one of his pets, they would run away or die. Sid’s yard now has a fence so Queen and Lucy will stay home where it is safe.

I remember my first dog. Her name was Snooks and she was a German shepherd. I loved it when she had a litter of puppies! I hated it when she died of heartworms. I was about twelve years old. That wasn’t my first encounter with death, but it was the first time I had lost a pet and I was pretty upset because I couldn’t see her or play with her anymore.

I wrote the stories in The Sid Series book to help kids find answers to some things they may have questions about. For example, it’s hard to understand death. It makes us feel sad when someone we love dies. Some adults say it means that you just don’t exist anymore. Others say being dead means the body can’t do anything, so the spirit leaves the body and goes to a wonderful place called heaven. Some people will tell you that dogs and cats don’t have souls so they can’t go to heaven, but I don’t believe that. I believe in a place known as the afterlife. It’s just like the place you existed before you came alive in the body you have now. Most of us don’t remember where we were before we were born, but I call it the Rainbow World. It must be a good place since none of us have bad memories of it.

Scrap is the family dog in my story titled “Puppy Love.” Scrap is old and she’s had a good life, but it’s time for her to go to the Rainbow World. One morning, her family finds her in her favorite sleeping spot, but she’s not moving; she can’t get up and she can’t bark or chase the tractor like she used to. That’s because she is dead. The family is sad and everyone cries. They wrap her in her favorite blanket, dig a big hole in the ground, and put her body in it. It’s like planting a flower or seed, but Scrap’s body is not going to grow like a flower or seed in the spring. The family has a memorial service and talks about Scrap’s death. It’s good to talk about things that you are afraid of or don’t understand. That way, you get more information to help you decide what you want to believe.

You will get some ideas to help you create your own understanding about afterlife or the Rainbow World when you read my story. Don’t worry, it has a happy ending. If you want to read it, let Barbara or Frankie know and she will email a link to you or your parent. You may read more about each of the stories on my Web site: http://TheSidSeries.com.

I have learned a lot from children. So, I’d like to ask you some questions. You can answer them by leaving a comment below.

What does it mean to be dead?

Where do you think Scrap’s soul went when she died?

What do you think happened to Scrap’s body when she was buried in the ground?

Have you ever seen a person or an animal that is dead?

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Puppy Love ~ Dealing with the Death of a Pet

As part of my virtual book tour for The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children, I am presenting to the readers of this blog a flip book version of "Puppy Love ~ Dealing with the Death of a Pet." This is one of the twelve stories in my newly released book to help parents and teachers understand children who demonstrate psychic abilities and spiritual intellect).

Scrap had been the family’s dog for many years before Sidney was born. One morning she didn’t come when she was called to breakfast. Learn how Sidney and Von-Von deal with the death of the family pet and the arrival of a new one.

Out of the Mouths of Babies! Channeling 101

I’m the paternal grandmother of a psychic child named Sidney, who is now eight years old. When Sidney was a baby he used to stay with me on the weekends and we did all kinds of fun things together. I began to write about our adventures and the next thing I knew, I had a collection of stories. I’ve compiled them into one full-color print book and titled it The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children.

Why do I call them holistic stories? Because they support children in the development of body, mind, and spirit. In the 12 stories of The Sid Series your child will:

• learn about inner guidance through a garden visit with the fairies
• face the fear of storms in a kayak on the Banana River
• help a pirate find the real hidden treasure
• find a ghost in Sid’s closet
• use magic to heal a hurt puppy
• deal with the death of a pet

I was spending time with Sidney one day when he was about nine months old. All day long he kept repeating, “Hannah, Hannah, Hannah.”

It felt like he was trying to give me a message, but I thought, “He’s too young to be talking, much less channeling.”

He kept on saying Hannah’s name so I finally called his mom, Amanda, and asked what she thought of it. She was amazed because her friend’s daughter was named Hannah. She and Hannah’s mom gave birth within a few weeks of one another but they lost touch a few months after. The last Amanda knew about her friend was that she had a drug problem. Amanda and I said a prayer of protection for Hannah over the phone. Amazingly, Sidney stopped repeating the child’s name.

The next week Amanda received a call from someone who was still in touch with Hannah’s family. Hannah’s grandmother had taken custody of her because the child's mother had been neglecting her. Possibly our prayers provided support for that outcome.

Sidney continued to show signs of being spiritually aware. When he looked at me, he typically looked around and over me like he was staring at my aura or my guides. Sometimes he would smile for no apparent reason. I imagined my guides making silly faces to entertain him. This gave me reason to believe that he was able to see in the spirit realm. That belief was confirmed one day when Sidney was about four years old.

He was with me in my office. I asked him to go get something for me in the other room. He jumped up and started toward the door. Then, all of a sudden he stopped and wouldn’t go through the door. He backed up closer to where I was sitting.

“What’s wrong, Sid?” I asked.

“Von-Von, who is that?” He pointed toward the hallway. I knew what was happening. I had seen a the spirit of young boy flash across my foyer several weeks prior. Yes, I actually see plasma and flashes of light from time to time.

“I’m not sure what his name is,” I said, “but he will not harm you. Let’s call upon Archangels Chamuel and Michael.” I pulled Sid into my lap. He was still staring at the doorway.

“Archangels Michael and Chamuel,” I said, “We have the spirit of a lost boy in our house. Please come and help him see the light and go to a safe place where he can find his friends and family. Thank you.”

“He’s gone,” Sidney said. Then, he slid off my lap and walked through the doorway without hesitation.

Now that Sidney is almost nine years old, his spiritual communication occurs mostly in his dreams. He shared one with me in our podcast interview. I invite you to look inside the book on my Web site. http://TheSidSeries.com
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Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and editor, award-winning Amazon.com bestselling author, podcast host, blogger extraordinaire, newsletter publisher, Internet marketing guru, and an outstanding keynote speaker. She is a graduate of American Institute of Holistic Theology where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Metaphysics.
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My Aunt Kat Paid a Visit to Me Today

I remember watching the Ghost Whisperer with my Aunt Kat right after she was first diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The episode was the one where a ghost was throwing silverware and china all over Melinda's dining room. We were sitting in my mom's living room when I turned to Kat and said, "You'd better not do that when you visit me from the spirit world." We both chuckled.

This morning, I was sending her love and light during my meditation. Now, for the past hour, I have heard a faint but noticeable tinkling or slight rattling of glass dishes in my cabinet. This might freak out someone who is afraid of ghosts, but I knew it was my aunt and I am quite proud of her for learning so quickly how to move physical objects.

I went to the kitchen just now and asked, "Kat, is that you?" I was immediately overwhelmed with a feeling of intense love that draped over me like a warm blanket. What a beautiful thing for her to let me know that she is doing well in the afterlife. Bless you, Kat. I love you!
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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Are all Near-death Experiences Positive and Happy?

I got a question from a reader today. I'll share my answer with you.

QUESTION: Yvonne, you mentioned in your book that some people considered their near-death experience (NDE) a negative or frightening one. But the accounts you printed were all good ones. What did people tell you who had less than favorable things to say? Is it possible that they experienced some sort of "Hell" ... even if not the typical Christian view that I've heard about?

ANSWER: It seems that whatever mindset one has at the time of death is carried over to the afterlife--at least temporarily. None of the NDErs I interviewed for my book reported a negative experience although some had a difficult time adjusting to being back on the earth plane.

I learned about people having hellish NDEs when I read a book by PMH Atwater (http://www.pmhatwater.com/). You can ask questions and read answers on her blog at http://pmhatwater.blogspot.com/.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Seven Stages of Grief

If you have lost someone you love and are grieving, you will soon feel the need to move on. This is a healthy and normal part of the grieving process. In fact, according to Kavanaugh, there are Seven Stages of Grief:

1. Shock and denial
2. Disorganization (out of touch with reality)
3. Volatile reactions (anger, rage, behavior changes. Mad at God, med staff, funeral directors, family, in-laws, friends).
4. Guilt (social mechanism to resolve the dissonance. Saying “if only . . . “)
5. Loss and loneliness comes a social life is reentered. Holidays feel strange without the deceased.
6. Relief (can lead to more guilt)
7. Reestablishment occurs gradually. Reconstructing a new life.

If you find that you are ready to reestablish yourself in a new life, you may enjoy reading the information at http://Life2.0Inspired.com


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For more information about death, dying, bereavement, and afterlife you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Why is Death and Grieving So Difficult?

I think our views of death (as well as the closeness of our relationship with the deceased) affects how we express grief. My view of death is that it is a normal part of life--the end of one life phase and the beginning of another. It is common for deceased loved ones to hang out with me.My Aunt Kat is with me in spirit. Therefore, I don't feel sad for her. She's starting her new journey in the afterlife.

I also think that the age of the deceased and his or her condition  prior to death has a lot to do with how survivors grieve. Knowing that Kat is not suffering physically gives me great consolation. However, it would be horrible to lose a child or a healthy person. We believe we are all supposed to live long, healthy lives--not be cut short by illness or injury. Our beliefs about dying young create a strong sense of loss. It's something none of us wish to go through. It's hard to find purpose in the loss of a child.

I'm working with a client who lost her son when he was a junior in high school. Her son has come to her in spirit many times, urging her to write about her healing journey that his death provided. He had a purpose in dying young. It was to help his mother's soul heal and create the life she was destined to enjoy in spite of her loss. I can hardly wait to share her book with my readers.

Talking about death should not be hard. We make it difficult because we fear upsetting others or perhaps we fear death itself, but the truth is it is very healing to talk with others about our deceased or dying loved ones.My grandmother (Nanny) and I talk openly and easily about death. We've both had near-death experiences (NDE) and have felt the peace of being spirit without a body. Maybe the purpose of my NDE was to help me share comfort with you and offer a compassionate voice of reason.


My cousins are grieving the loss of their mother, my Aunt Kat. One is taking is pretty hard, but I think there may be more guilt involved than grief. One cousin is doing quite well. She did all she could to support and assist her mother in her last days. She has nothing to feel guilty about. She may feel sad, but she is able to talk freely and positively about her mother. 

• Have you talked about your loss? 
• Can you find meaning in death? 
• What are your views about death?
  

Feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts and feelings. I might be a very therapeutic part of your journey to wholeness.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Thoughts on Natural Burial

The Natural Burial Company sells biodegradable coffins and urns as a way to help environmentally-conscious folks make a green choice regarding body disposal.They also work with funeral directors and cemetery managers to help them convert to natural funeral and operations techniques.

This company found my post and left a comment. However, comments usually get "buried" (pun intended, of course) and are not visible to visitors unless someone clicks on the comment feature underneath (another pun!) the original post. Since this comment is informative and helpful, I'm using it as a post. And, yes I have had my mercury fillings replaced.

From Natural Burial Company:

You don't need to be embalmed when you die. And, actually, you can still be buried in a coffin--you could just make it something handmade, celebrating an artist and keeping an art alive, rather than making it a product out of stamped steel or rainforest hardwood and padded with poly-foam stuffing.

RE: your pyre. A group in Colorado have been lobbying to do just that.
http://crestoneendoflifeproject.org/

With respect to emissions, I've got to agree with you - it's a bit of smoke but probably not as much as your average big-brush burn pile. (Just be sure you get your mercury fillings replaced well before the date!) Certainly planting a few trees will more than make up for the footprint, if it's the thing you want most!

I think the important thing in this movement is to recognize that many of us desire a more natural end. We're not all offended by the same things. What's dignified to some is not to others (embalming, for example); what's respectful to some is not respectful to others.

We only have one death (that we know of). It's the end of the only life we'll ever know until we explore the other side of the mystery. It seems a small thing to insist that we ought to have the death we want (a natural one...) followed by the disposition we want - again, environmentally benign and expressing some of what we value in our lives.

For me, and for lots of others, that value seems to be held well by a tree!

In trees,

Cynthia Beal
Natural Burial Company
http://www.naturalburialcompany.com
http://www.beatree.com

Biodegradable coffins and urns --- if it's the last thing you do...
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For more information about body disposal, you might enjoy reading More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Carrying Grief for Others

My aunt passed ten days ago. We had become close in the past year. We kept up by email and phone until she got too weak to get out of bed or talk. Her death doesn't seem real to me. I missed her physical presence while I was with my family over Thanksgiving, but I couldn't feel sorrow. I feel so detached from the situation. Shouldn't I be crying or expressing some type of emotion?

While I was home for Thanksgiving, my grandmother and I talked about Kat's death (Nanny and I talk about death as easily as we talk about going to the store) and we both agree that we're glad Kat's no longer suffering from lung cancer.

Kat and I had talked several times about her coming death, and she promised to visit me in spirit. She kept her promise. I have sensed her presence several times since her body died. For three days after she passed, I smelled coffee. Strange thing is I didn't have any coffee in the house! She didn't wait until she passed to visit me in spirit. Several days prior to her death I smelled cigarette smoke around me everywhere I went. It was as strong as if someone was in the room with me smoking. I guess that's why I can't believe Kat's really gone or manufacture any grief for her. She's still alive!

But here's the catch. I grieved intensely for my grandfather when he died 20 years ago. He and my grandmother had lived next door to me for 5 years at the time. We knew for years he was dying. It was very difficult to keep from crying even months afterward Pap's death. Maybe I was less experienced and unable to talk about the "D" word then. I sensed his presence afterward, too, but it was in dreams that he visited me.

When my uncle passed in 2002 I was able to sing at his funeral and read a poem at his graveside service. Edmond had visited me in spirit prior to his death while he was in coma. As a result of his visit, I wrote a poem that actually came to me as a song. I sang it to and for him several weeks before and after his death while he was transitioning.

When a friend of mine was murdered in 2007 I cried so much that I couldn't attend his funeral because I knew I would upset everyone there. I didn't know Jerry's family. I only knew Jerry as a networking buddy, but my grief was out of control. Who needs a crying, mourning stranger around them when they are already grieving?

The same thing happened when my husband's brother-in-law died suddenly. We went to Dan's celebration of life but I was a total mess all day long. I felt embarrassed for my emotional condition because I hardly knew the guy and yet I was torn up by his loss more than anyone else there. Like a "surrogate" griever, I was expressing the grief that others were holding back.

I carried the illness of my sister-in-law's mother as she was dying of a diseased colon. Less than 12 months later, I had a tumor, a polyp, ten inches of my colon, and the connecting lymph nodes removed. Thanks to the clearing work and prayers of others, I did not have cancer.

I had an energy worker clear my electromagnetic energy field after Dan's death. I've learned to stop allowing myself to pick up and carry the grieving energy of others.

What I'm trying to say here is that it is very dangerous to carry the energy and emotions of others. Yes, we are to help bear one another's burdens, but that means helping those who are grieving and showing love and compassion while folks are still in body. I want to make sure the emotional "discharge" and emotional expression I have in any situation belongs to ME--that these are my OWN feelings and responses--not that of others.

I truly love my aunt, but it appears that I do not have any negative feelings, guilt, or grief to express about her passing. I'm enjoying her spiritual presence around me too much to cry for her.

I guess I'm the only one in my family who might say, "Hey, Kat, pull up a chair and let's have a cup of coffee!"

Hell, I may even buy her a pack of cigarettes.

Feel free to comment on this post.


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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Condolences Appreciated

Thanks for the condolences on the death of my Aunt Kat. She was suffering pretty bad toward the end.  My grandmother is doing pretty well considering she just lost her daughter (her second child to succumb to a terminal illness).

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Diversity in Death Rituals

If you’ve been following this blog recently, you know that I am taking a sociology course on death, dying, and bereavement. I’ve been posting responses to the questions our instructor poses. Here is some information on mourning practices and burial rituals in other cultures.

1) Why is it important to learn about mourning and burial practices of other cultures and religions? Be sure to fully explain your response.

When I found that this was the question for the week, I was surprised and dreaded answering it. While reading the material, I kept asking myself “Why do I need to know this stuff? What difference does it make how someone else deals with death? Grief is such a personal and private affair.”

It will be interesting to see the answers my classmates give to this question. I had to think about this to come up with any answer at all, but I have decided that it is important that we understand one another in our ever-changing global society. Our neighbors, co-workers, friends, extended family, and society in general now include people from every background, race, and nation.

If I were to go to the funeral of a New Orleans friend or someone from west New Guinea, I would probably leave when the wailing started (unless rum and revelry were promised next). If the family began cutting themselves, but I wouldn’t offer them any Bandaids or tourniquets! I wouldn’t call the police either.

The purpose of a funeral is to provide a social way to accept the reality of death, express grief, dispose of the body, acknowledge the absence of the deceased, draw the community together, comfort one another, and give meaningful to the life and death of the deceased.

In my opinion everyone is welcome to practice his own mourning and death rituals. Though I do wonder if it is legal to burn a dead body on a public riverbank. The health department and media would be all over the case.

2) How might learning about the diverse mourning and burial practices be personally and/or professionally useful to you?

Page 342 of our text speaks of death rituals as a rite of passage. Each culture has its own way of expressing the rite of separation, the rite of transition, and the rite of reincorporation. All the rituals we learned about this week address these three rites of passage.

Learning about the mourning practices and death rituals of other cultures helped me find an appreciation of diversity that helps me understand and accept others. It also gives me compassion to help support the reincorporation of the bereaved back into society without the presence of their loved one.

3) How does learning about these diverse practices help in your understanding of your own mourning and burial related beliefs and practices?

The text caused me to think about how I would like my body disposed of when it dies. I have stated in my will that I would like to be cremated, but after reading about so many cultures that burn the body on a pyre, I think I would prefer that method to cremation in a mortuary. It’s so much more celebrative and less expensive to barbeque the dead body in your own backyard.

I’m not being facetious. As Pagans, my husband and I frequently conduct new/full moon and sabbat rituals using a fire to offer flora sacrifices to the gods and goddesses. (No animals or humans are ever harmed in our rituals.)

I didn’t realize that my husband’s wishes for a bonfire were actually in line with Hinduism. Here is a section of text from my book More Than Meets the Eye: True Stories About Death, Dying, and Afterlife that I wrote and published in 2005:

My husband has planned his own funeral. To save money, he wants to be cremated in the backyard fire pit and have his ashes used to fertilize our garden. He has asked me to throw a party in his honor. Everyone should bring their own six-pack of beer or a bottle of liquor, some party favors, and a lot of food that I can freeze so I won’t have to cook for a while (Randy is the family chef, not me!) There will be dancing to 60s and 70s Rock-n-Roll classics, and our sons have been instructed to set off a huge display of fireworks in the cul-de-sac after dark. The media and the fire department will be notified in advance.

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Now, I’ll ask you to respond to my question. Please type your answer as a comment below this post.

How would you like your body to be disposed of when you die?
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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

A Green Burial

I found a really cool Web site that gives some great alternatives to the sad and morbid funeral that costs thousands of dollars. http://www.greenburialcouncil.org/index.php

The Green Burial Council is a non-profit organization working to make burial more sustainable, economically viable, and meaningful. I’m all about helping Mother Gaia stay clean and healthy for future generations, so I was pleased to learn that The Green Burial Council is trying to reduce the carbon emissions, waste and the use of toxic chemicals in the cemetery/funeral field and utilize burial as a means of acquiring, restoring, and stewarding natural areas.

I don’t want my body to be embalmed when I die. I don’t want to be buried in a casket and vault because of the impact it makes upon the environment. For example, each year, 22,500 cemeteries across the United States bury approximately 827,060 gallons of embalming fluid which includes formaldehyde and other hazardous chemicals. Buried caskets contain 90,272 tons of steel, 2,700 tons of copper and bronze and 30-plus million board feet of hardwoods. Cremation and burial vaults contain 1,636,000 tons of reinforced concrete and 14,000 tons of steel. (Thefreelibrary.com)

Personally, I would rather be offered to the Goddess on a fiery pyre on my own property, but I’m sure it would be difficult to get a do-it-yourself-at-home cremation permit in the deep south. Besides, there are environmental issues to think about. It would take a lot of fuel and would generate a considerable amount of smoke pollution. The commercial gas cremation retorts all have after-burners, making the cremation process a virtually "invisible" and a very clean operation. So, I suppose cremation is the closest thing I’ll get to a backyard body barbeque.

Here is a site that offers biodegradable urns, deep water bio urns, eco-friendly caskets, scattering tubes, cornstarch eco-urns, sand & gelatin urns, bamboo urns, and shell urns. An alternative worth looking into. http://www.earthurn.com/?page=newproducts
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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Visiting the Cemetery with a Child

I chose to revisit the 250-acre Mount Olivet Cemetery yesterday—the same day my Aunt Kat died. How timely. The trip was pre-planned since it was an assignment for the class I’m taking on death, dying, and bereavement and has to be turned in today. I took my 8-year-old grandson, Sidney, with me to get a child’s perspective on this assignment as well as introduce him to the concept of death.

I broke the news of Kat’s death to Sidney as we were driving to the cemetery. I was amazed at the insight this loving soul provided about his belief in the afterlife that he calls the Life Stream. I asked him to describe it and he said it is a large swirling circle that never ends. It has a green mist and sometimes the shapes of bodies can be seen in it. I asked him where it is located and he said, “deep within the earth.” He also said it gets colder as you get deeper into the ground.

Mount Olivet Cemetery has no formal or planned layout in the older section. The gravel roads wind and twist randomly throughout the monuments. It seems that families bought a section of land and were allowed to inter arbitrarily—facing all directions in unevenly spaced patterns. However, in one section, all the graves were in neat rows with consistent head and foot markers. At first I thought this might have indicated that these were newer sites common to the Resurrection of Death period (1945 to present), but those graves were just as old as the others. Noticing how simple and small the markers were, I now believe this must have been the more economical lots offered for sale during the late 1800s. Those graves are closer together and more uniform—all facing the same direction—still allowing for the expression of individuality if the family could afford it.

Sidney was very interested in the monuments we saw at Mount Olivet in Nashville and asked a lot of questions and gave a lot of input. “Here’s another one with an angel, Von-Von. Look, another cross! They believed in Jesus.”

Knowing how costly some of these ornate structures must have been shows me that not only was it important that a person’s social and financial status be remembered, it was also important that the person’s individuality be expressed. This is not the case in the newer section of Mount Olivet where every identical bronze marker is recessed into the ground. It looks like a mowed field with fake flowers in urns every six to eight feet apart. Sidney liked the graves that expressed individuality—a true child of a baby boomer! He disliked the “boring” graves.

A body was been interred at the time we were there. Sidney did not want to approach that scene so I honored his wishes. I didn’t want to expose him to more than he was ready for. However, we did drive by the site once the family had left and the grave had been closed. I must have had some success at gently introducing him to the reality of death. Even after what he experienced today, he actually wants to attend Aunt Kat’s funeral even though I warned him that our family may be crying and very sad.

Taking Grandson to Visit an Old Cemetery

My 8-year-old grandson is spending the weekend with me. Part of our activities include a trip to an old cemetery where he will be Watson and I'll be Sherlock Holmes. We will investigate and take notes on death symbols as part of my class on death, dying, and bereavement. How fitting that our plans coincide with the death of my Aunt Kat who passed just hours ago.

Sidney has spent time with Aunt Kat and she absolutely adored him. Our cemetery visit will give me a chance to break the news to Sidney, and hopefully give him a chance to ask questions that his young mind may have about death, dying, and afterlife. I'm sure I'll be the one learning the most on this adventure!

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Hospice is Over for My Aunt Kathryn

As many of you know, my beloved aunt was in hospice for the past year. She was pretty stable for about eight months, but her health began to decline late this past summer. She got weaker day by day over the past month, and then declined rather rapidly this past week. So much so that we knew she probably wouldn't live until Christmas. I had planned to see her when I went home to Georgia for Thanksgiving this coming week, but my mom called me this morning to tell me that Kat passed in her sleep last night.

I appreciate your loving thoughts for my family during this time.

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More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

The Right to Die

As you think about the right to die, answer the following question:

1) Should we, as Beloff describes, have a right to die as we choose and have access to any community resources to implement our wishes? Why or Why Not? Yes. The US Constitution allows us the right to pursue happiness and liberty. To violate one’s wishes concerning his or her death is just that--a violation of another person’s will.

My grandmother almost died in September, but thanks to medical procedures, she recovered to about half the health she had before her allergic reaction to an antibiotic (Macrobid) she was taking for a urinary tract infection. The drug caused her heart to race for three days, during which time she had been taken to the doctor two times complaining of chest pain. Her heart was pumping at 150 beats per minute and she was on the verge of a stroke or heart attack when she was rushed to the hospital via ambulance. She now has congestive heart failure. She’s had fluid has drained from her chest twice, and she is now in palliative care as a DNR patient.

She had surgery while in the hospital to repair a crushed vertebra that was causing her horrible pain. We didn’t think she would survive the surgery, but she did. Ever since coming home from the hospital this last time, she has begged to die--daily repeating the request to family members, Jesus, or anyone who will listen. She says she’s glad I’m coming to see her at Thanksgiving because I’ll sit there and hold her hand and listen to her. That seems to be her most prevalent need at this point--not to be alone.

She is so pitiful and has lost the quality of life she once had. Her dignity is lost as she is at the mercy of someone else to change her diapers. This is no way to live. If it were legal to do so, I would personally administer a drug to allow her to die peacefully. I realize that would be active euthanasia, but after watching my uncle and my grandfather die slow agonizing deaths while under medical “care,” I have no problem with this gentle hastening of death. I don’t approve of Dr. Kevorkian being in prison for helping elderly patients end their suffering. It was with their consent, not against their will, but rather in accordance to their will. Everyone has the right to live AND die as they choose. There is no freedom in being forced to live in misery.

When the body is dying and beginning to shut down, the appetite is greatly diminished. Nanny doesn’t want to eat, but my mom brings her food and makes her eat a few bites. I know my mom doesn’t want anyone thinking she starved her own mother, but I also know my mom is ready to let go of Nanny and allow her to die of natural causes. From what I read in our text, Nanny could easily die of dehydration if she refused to drink. But then, if she went into a coma, my family would probably have her hydrated with an IV drip. That might bring her around for a few days, but what’s the point? The point is we don’t know when it is someone’s time to die.

Negative Outcomes:

2) GUILT: It’s like you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Allowing someone to die, means doing nothing to force them to live. That brings too much guilt on the by-standers, so they go the opposite extreme and use technology to prolong life (or postpone death, as our text says) because again, not to use whatever measures are available also brings guilt.

VIOLATION OF WILL: What about the needless suffering we impose on our loved ones by keeping them here against their will? That’s a violation of their will provided they have asked to be allowed to die. Would you tie your loved one to a chair to keep them from leaving you? This is about what we are doing when we use life support and artificial means to keep someone alive when they have expressed the desire to depart. No one is assured, even if they have a living will, that their wishes will be honored.

FINANCIAL LOSS: Even those with good health insurance reach a point when the coverage runs out. Keeping a patient alive costs much more than allowing them to die a natural death. Many insurance policies do not pay full death benefits if the insured committed suicide.

JUDGEMENT: I have a friend whose brother committed suicide in 1965. His family is still grieving the loss. Early on, they experienced a lot of rejection from friends and even judged and blamed themselves for not being able to see it coming and do something to prevent the suicide. If only people could understand that Brett had personal reasons for taking his own life and stop trying to police society, thereby taking away the rights of another person. In the “Listening to the Voices” box on page 298-299 of our text, I was so proud of Diane for the decision she made. The fact that she remained in control of her life all the way to the end is admirable.

I had no idea that dying with dignity could be so complicated. There’s much more to the process than the physical exhaustion and emotional grief. There are many decisions to be made by and for the patient. We’ve been through this several times as a family, but each individual has a unique situation. While we hold to a quality-of-life view, I truly hope physician-assisted active euthanasia is legal before I’m old or in the condition my grandmother is in. If not, I suppose I’ll have to move to Oregon before I get old and decrepit. At least PAD is legal there.

My overall opinion is that if we can force babies to enter the world via induced labor, we should be able to help old folks leave the world when they are ready. We put our pets to sleep when they are suffering, yet we let elderly humans suffer indefinitely. There’s something quite upsetting about that.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Becoming Open to Spirit Communication & Mediumship

Some people are more open to having the spirits visit them. Others may be mediums and not know it. They may not be aware that spirits are coming to them. They may just feel drained or vulnerable.

I used to pray for the gift of discerning spirits. I also asked that the eyes of my spirit be opened. I wanted to see Jesus (which I never did) and also to see what type of entities were at work when someone asked me to pray for them. I did spiritual warfare or exorcism (which I do NOT recommend) for many years and the intercession wore me out. I didn't realize that I was an empath and that I was taking on the energy of the person I was trying to help. Since then, I've denounced all vows I might have taken in past lives in which I agreed to serve as an empath. I've put strong boundaries of protection around me from detrimental energy. This is very important if you are going to engage in any type of healing, clearing, or energy work.

You've heard it said, What you think about comes about. During my church years, I was constantly engaged in battle with what I thought were evil spirits, so I began to create that reality and found myself in a vicious cycle of endless battle. When I stopped believing in a devil (Satan) or evil spirits, the battle stopped. Once I left the church, I still had spiritual encounters, but not in a negative manner. The interaction I now have with the spirit world is peaceful; and rather than calling them to me, the souls find me on their own.

You can ask for spirits to visit you, but it is very important that you focus on the light and have your heart filled with love and peace. This raises your vibration so that you attract loving souls who truly desire help you or who want to be part of your team. By team, I mean we have around us many spirit guides, angels, fairies, elementals, and other energetic beings who are wiser than us. They assist us on our journey. Then, we also have some beings who hang around us simply to learn from us or because they enjoy our energy field. This is fine as long as you set boundaries that they are to observe only and not to interfere in any way with your free will or feed off your energy.

If you plan to start opening yourself to mediumship, it's very important that you set boundaries as to what you will and will not allow spirit beings to do. Ask for your highest guides and angels of light to protect you. Do some research and read enlightening material to learn the best way to go about it. Make it a daily practice of meditating and simply raising your own vibration.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Spiritual Gifts Parallel Human Senses

The Clair senses are types of psychic abilities that correspond with the five senses of seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting.

Read more about these psychic gifts at Suite101.com.

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For more information, you might enjoy reading the complete book More Than Meets the Eye True Stories about Death, Dying, and Afterlife. Purchase on Amazon.com

Dying in a Mental Health Facility

Mentally or emotionally challenged people are viewed as dangerous and treated as an outcast of society. Some people are afraid of those with mental conditions and do not want these patients living near them. Many emotionally disturbed patients have committed crimes and are serving time for their disruptive behavior. Naturally, most state mental health hospitals are located near a prison and have security guards on duty at all times to keep patients from escaping and harming others. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93581736

Dying an appropriate death means to die in similar fashion to how one has lived—to continue the type of behavior one experienced before he or she entered the dying process. This might be easier to achieve for someone who was killed instantly while doing a daily activity, but it could be more difficult for someone who is bedridden after having lived a very active life. For the patient in a mental facility, death could be appropriate or inappropriate depending upon the circumstances.

Dying with dignity means the patient is allowed to die in a manner that is congruent with his belief system. If a mental patient has a violent and unstable life before entering the dying process, then a mental institution is not going to prevent the patient from dying with dignity—there was little dignity prior. However, the patient may be prevented from harming himself and causing his own death; therefore, a mental health facility definitely limits one’s ability to die if he perceived suicide as a way to die with dignity. According to the American Journal of Psychiatry many patients commit suicide after leaving a mental institution: http://tinyurl.com/AmericanJournalPsychiatry

Many people who have been placed in a mental institution have family members who have given up on them, but this is not always the case. The family may have sent the patient to the facility to help him get medication or medical care to help him stabilize and return to society. That is if he or she survives the stay inside the facility. The staff at many facilities has been accused of either neglecting or torturing patients. It makes me wonder if the real crime was committed before the doors were closed, or afterward.

This is clearly demonstrated in the case of 21-year-old Josh Garcia who entered the Colorado Mental Health Institute at Pueblo. His family sent him there to receive treatment for bipolar disorder. They thought he was in good hands, but when he died in the facility, his family sued for neglect of medical care. Josh was given a number of powerful psychoactive drugs, such as Haldol and Thorazine, which caused severe constipation. Even though he complained to his mom and grandmother for weeks that his stomach hurt, the staff did nothing more than give him Maalox, which can also cause constipation. When he was transferred to St. Mary Corwin Hospital in Pueblo, Josh's bowels were so impacted that they burst during emergency surgery. He suffered a massive infection that raised his temperature to 108 degrees and eventually caused brain death. If a patient is being monitored, these problems don’t occur. http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19432754/detail.html.

Josh’s is not an isolated case. Fox news.com ran a story that showed a video of a 49-year-old woman dying in the waiting room of Kings County Hospital http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,374321,00.html while people nearby, including two security guards, did nothing to help. An hour later, a fellow patient finally got the staff to notice the patient lying in the floor.

Nationwide, patients have died while pinned down on the floor by hospital aides until the breath was crushed from their lungs. http://www.toddlertime.com/advocacy/5150/restraint/day-1.htm Some died strapped to beds and chairs with thick leather belts; other was ignored until they strangled or their hearts gave out. http://www.cchr.org/index/5276/6683/6694/10596/

So many patients have died in similar circumstances after being restrained in psychiatric and mental retardation facilities that North Carolina passed a law to require that deaths in state facilities be reported to the medical examiner and be revealed to the public. Department of Health and Human Services officials said autopsies will be conducted at the discretion of the medical examiner (http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/2635294/). State facilities will now be held more accountable to the people in their care. http://tinyurl.com/ylq6vq9.

A good death is free from avoidable suffering for patients, families, and caregivers, and is in general accord with the patients’ and families’ wishes. A good death will include having a sense of control, offering discussion about dying, talking about an afterlife or spiritual issues, reviewing the past, having a sense of humor, being truthful, keeping up personal appearance, having loved ones nearby and participating in loving care. This might be done with medication to alleviate pain, addressing all aspects of dying, using hospice, having a living will. It appears that dying a good death is not a goal of most mental health institutions. Perhaps it is not even possible.

Resources:

Montagne, Renee. “Inside The Nation's Largest Mental Institution.” National Public Radio Accessed 18 October, 2009.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93581736.

Kane, Arthur and John Ferrugia. “State Mental Hospital Death Not Investigated.” (The story of Josh Garcia). ABCNews.com. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/19432754/detail.html


“Video Shows Woman Ignored While Dying in New York Mental Hospital. ” Associated Press via Fox news.com. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,374321,00.html


Weiss, Eric M. with reporting by Dave Altimari, Dwight F. Blint and Kathleen Megan. “A Nationwide Pattern of Death.” Kathy’s Mental Health. Accessed 18 October, 2009.
http://www.toddlertime.com/advocacy/5150/restraint/day-1.htm

“Interim Report on Restraint Deaths in Psychiatric Institutions, A Culture of Violence & Terrorism.” Citizens Commission on Human Rights. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://www.cchr.org/index/5276/6683/6694/10596/

“State Must Report All Deaths at Mental Health Facilities.” WRAL.com. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/2635294/

“Mental Hospital Deaths to Be Disclosed.” NewsObserver.com. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://tinyurl.com/ylq6vq9

Desai, Rani A. Ph.D. et al. “Mental Health Service Delivery and Suicide Risk: The Role of Individual Patient and Facility Factors.” American Journal of Psychiatry. Accessed 18 October, 2009. http://tinyurl.com/AmericanJournalPsychiatry